# What do YOU do when you run into someone you know when you're out in public? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 2, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687 "2010-06-02T20:23:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/21 "2010-06-03T12:36:45Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Some Other Option. > > I am indifferent to seeing people I know in public, which I feel is significantly different from the third option. > > As for what I _do_ when I see them (as the title asks), I say hi, make small talk and let them go on their way. Another agreement. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/22 "2010-06-03T12:45:39Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > Wow. I had no idea that people were so antisocial (currently about 50% of poll respondents indicating some degree of agreement with OP). I mean, I know a lot of people have trouble talking to _strangers_ in public, but to actually dislike seeing people you know? I don’t really know what to say. > > You don’t have to stop eating to chat with someone. I would have said the most natural thing to do would be to invite the person to join you. Whether they do that or just stop by the table for a bit, you _can_ keep eating while you talk. Um, no you can’t. Unless you’re socially clueless, you do not talk with your mouth full. This means it now takes longer to eat. Plus, just because I know someone doens’t mean I currently have anything to talk about with them. The only way I’d let someone eat with me is if I know they are also pretty quiet, and we can just enjoy each other’s company, rather than having to come up with things to say. Or if there are other people around me that can hold up most of the conversation, but even then I probably will take too long to finish my food and have to take some home. I mean, I’m not going to avoid people, but I am going to make it clear that I’m just saying hi, and do not want to start a conversation. Why should you be insulted that I’m busy? IF we have something we need (or even just want) to talk about, we can set up time to do it later. Oh, and strangers are easy to talk to, because if you run out of anything to talk about, you can just be incompatible, and you never have to see them again. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/23 "2010-06-03T12:53:59Z")
> [@Rala](#): > > I don’t like meeting people I know in public. It’s partly the awkwardness of being obligated to talk to them or at least acknowledge them in some way, as I’m not good with small talk and pleasantries. > > The other part makes me look a little nuts. I don’t know how to react to people when I meet them outside the context I’m used to seeing them in. Like a few weeks ago, I saw a girl from my philosophy tutorial on the train. My thoughts were something like “Oh no. I like you fine at uni, but this is completely different. We can’t talk about philosophy for the whole trip - even if I could find enough to say, it’d be really weird to bring it up here. But what else can I say to you? I have to say something. Otherwise you’ll think I’m being rude. I don’t want to insult you. I don’t want to be over-enthusiastic about running into you either. What’s an appropriate level of enthusiasm? How do I prevent it looking faked? If I say anything, will it be obvious that I’d rather not be talking to you? Will you start thinking I hate you? I don’t! You’re with a guy. Probably your boyfriend. I’m sure you’d rather be alone with him, but if you see me you’ll have to say hello. We’re on a train, I can’t leave after we say ‘how are you’. I’ll be interrupting by my mere presence. Clearly my only hope is to avoid your notice.” (Bear in mind that I’ve already acknowledged that this is crazy, so none of you guys need to point that out.) How many of us are hearing this in Sheldon Cooper’s voice? So what happened? To the OP- I’m usually cool with it, but because of my laid-back accepting nature (really! some of you may prefer to say “fascade”), I tend to attract chatty oddballs who think I’m their best friend. Depending on the situation, I may try to avoid them. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/24 "2010-06-03T13:53:45Z")
If I’m eating, I’ll likely just nod a hello. But elsewhere it doesn’t bother me. It better not, because it happens every day. I’ve been teaching in this town for 23 years…everybody is either a former student, a relative of a former student, a friend of a former student, etc. If I don’t want to run into someone in town, I have to switch towns! ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/25 "2010-06-03T14:52:22Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > How many of us are hearing this in Sheldon Cooper’s voice? > > So what happened? I pretended to be intensely interested in my book and avoided looking in her direction, and she didn’t notice I was there. Then the next week she saw me first, tapped me on the shoulder and said hi. It was nowhere near as awkward as I thought it’d be. Turns out the guy wasn’t her boyfriend. Getting-to-know-you conversation with him allowed the three of us to keep talking throughout the ride without mentioning philosophy once. And yeah, the voice in my head sounds a lot like Sheldon at times. ---
**Author:** ![hellpaso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@hellpaso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hellpaso)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/26 "2010-06-03T15:04:45Z")
I hate it–I’ll even go the opposite direction or leave if I can. Trapped in a restaurant–horrors! MTCicero, I _promise_ I won’t acknowledge you if I see you in public! ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/27 "2010-06-03T15:13:08Z")
I had no idea so many people felt this way. I adore running into people in public. I thought that was part of the whole experience of going out; if I desperately wanted to be left alone or eat without being interrupted, I wouldn’t be out in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![HepToTheJive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@HepToTheJive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HepToTheJive)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/28 "2010-06-03T15:30:44Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > The only thing I hate is running into someone I know at the grocery store… and then running into them again in the next aisle, and then the next aisle, and the next one… That’s why I always say (In situations with aisles etc.), “Oh and in case we see each other again in a couple of minutes we don’t have to act awkward about, it we can just go about our business.” Everyone always knows what I’m talking about and it always works. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/29 "2010-06-03T15:36:01Z")
I love bumping into people. I guess I’m the annoying bastard that you all hate. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/30 "2010-06-03T16:59:41Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > If I’m eating, I’ll likely just nod a hello. But elsewhere it doesn’t bother me. It better not, because it happens every day. I’ve been teaching in this town for 23 years…everybody is either a former student, a relative of a former student, a friend of a former student, etc. If I don’t want to run into someone in town, I have to switch towns! That reminds me of the friend that I referenced in my OP. You guys (or, well, **spark240** ) think _I’m_ bad about this, consider the fact that when he goes out to eat, or goes shopping at a mall or some place like Target, he’ll purposely drive many miles out of his way for the express purpose of _not_ running into someone he knows. Even I usually don’t take it that far. Of course, both of us being as self-aware as we are, when we get together we make ourselves laugh by recounting the lengths that we go to just to avoid a few minutes’ worth of relative unpleasantness. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/31 "2010-06-03T17:13:29Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > I had no idea so many people felt this way. I adore running into people in public. I thought that was part of the whole experience of going out; if I desperately wanted to be left alone or eat without being interrupted, I wouldn’t be out in the first place. Oh, please, spare me the self-righteous indignation and moral posturing. I eat out because I do like the experience of being served great, unique food in a relaxed setting, and not having to do the dishes after. And I never said that I didn’t like to go eat out with other people; I, in fact, love to do just that. Only, I have this silly quirk where I like to _invite_ the people I want to eat out with because I don’t like to share my meals out with just anybody. Also, I’ve dined out with coworkers and managers on many occasions, and I’ve come away from them completely unscathed psychologically, because I knew going into it what the situation was, and was therefore “on”, much as I am when I’m at work. And really, this was essentially like being at work. But, see, when I go out to eat with my wife or friends, _I don’t want to be “on”_. I, in point of fact, want to _relax_ and _enjoy myself_ and _not have to be reminded at all about the constant bullshit that is work_. So, yeah, when I see someone like that out, I’m only as pleasant and friendly as I have to be, and I make damn sure that the interaction is as brief as fucking possible. As to your other point: I go out shopping to _buy shit I want or need_, **not** to to improve my social skills. And I don’t see anything too neurotic about that. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/32 "2010-06-03T17:22:35Z")
I’ll just do a little finger-wave and a “Hi there.” I rarely chat when I encounter someone I know where I wasn’t expecting them. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/33 "2010-06-03T17:39:37Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Some Other Option. > > I am indifferent to seeing people I know in public, which I feel is significantly different from the third option. > > As for what I _do_ when I see them (as the title asks), I say hi, make small talk and let them go on their way. This. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/34 "2010-06-03T17:51:37Z")
I once spotted a former coworker at the other end of the aisle in the grocery store. I saw her spot me and run the other way. So I stalked her in the store, followed her trail around, until she had nowhere to go, no choice but to stop and say hello. She was trying like hell to avoid me. 😃 I know, I’m going to hell for that. But it was funny. I didn’t try to shanghai her for an hour or anything; just forced her to look me in the eye and say hello for no other reason than it was obvious to me that she was trying to avoid just that. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/35 "2010-06-03T18:13:34Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > Oh, please, spare me the self-righteous indignation and moral posturing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come across as self-righteous. I just figured I’d explain my position and why I’m surprised by other people’s responses. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/36 "2010-06-03T18:15:55Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Some Other Option. > > I am indifferent to seeing people I know in public, which I feel is significantly different from the third option. > > As for what I _do_ when I see them (as the title asks), I say hi, make small talk and let them go on their way. ^^ ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/37 "2010-06-03T19:06:14Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I once spotted a former coworker at the other end of the aisle in the grocery store. I saw her spot me and run the other way. > > So I stalked her in the store, followed her trail around, until she had nowhere to go, no choice but to stop and say hello. She was trying like hell to avoid me. 😃 > > I know, I’m going to hell for that. But it was funny. I didn’t try to shanghai her for an hour or anything; just forced her to look me in the eye and say hello for no other reason than it was obvious to me that she was trying to avoid just that. Heh. How nice. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/38 "2010-06-03T19:12:02Z")
1. People have to take their kids to daycare. They choose either a location close to their home or to their work. 2. It’s convenient to shop for groceries just after picking up your kids from daycare. 3. I was a daycare teacher that liked to shop for groceries on my way home. 1+2+3= I was a local celebrity. I ran into people at Wal-Mart, the grocery, CVS, McDonalds, and such all the freakin’ time. I made it a point to never act in public in a manner that I wouldn’t want my parents to see. It was simultaneously cool to be “famous” and a pain to act like someone’s always watching me. Once I moved to DC, it was nice to be able to hold my girlfriend’s hand in public without having a 4 yr old leap out of nowhere and go “Ewww, Mr. **CS**!” who then tells all his classmates, which causes my coworkers to rib me for the rest of the week (“Hey **Chessic** , wash the cooties off your hands and pass me the construction paper. :p.”) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/39 "2010-06-03T19:27:36Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Um, no you can’t. Unless you’re socially clueless, you do not talk with your mouth full. This means it now takes longer to eat. Plus, just because I know someone doens’t mean I currently have anything to talk about with them. You don’t have to talk with your mouth full. I’d continue eating while they talked, then I’d swallow and continue talking. I mean, people talk while eating all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687/40 "2010-06-03T20:21:30Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come across as self-righteous. You didn’t. Her reply to you did, though. Big time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-you-run-into-someone-you-know-when-youre-out-in-public/541687.md?page=3)