# What do you do when your sports franchise skips town? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 5, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-your-sports-franchise-skips-town/267743 "2004-10-05T22:17:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-your-sports-franchise-skips-town/267743/21 "2004-10-06T18:30:55Z")
\*\*What do you do when your sports franchise skips town? \*\* Simply follow this twelve–step program: 1. Declare that the owner is a real jerk. Complain about him loud and often. 2. Refuse to build a new stadium for them. 3. Tell them, > [@Clothahump](#): > > “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” 1. Immediately start lobbying for a new NFL team. 2. Come up with a new derogatory name for them, eg, “The Tenessee Traitors”. 3. Try to fob the old team off on some backwater state you don’t like. 😉 4. Lobby some more for a new NFL team. Get someone local to finance it. 5. Cheer for any other team. Heck, cheer for **every** other team. Specifically, your favorite team of the week will be the one playing your ex-team, and your second favorite team of the week will be the one playing “that other one up the state, rhymes with ‘Ow! boys’.” If these two play each other, watch golf. 6. Lobby _even more_ for a new NFL team. Promise them a new stadium. (Never mind about #2.) See if you can get them to throw in a Superbowl. 7. Have a heart attack when they actually give your city a new NFL team. (Have 911 on speed dial in case you won’t remember the number.) Get resuscitated. 8. Watch “Trading Spaces” for a while as you wait for the new team. 9. Cheer for your new team, win or lose. **Especially** if they play your ex-, or That Other Team. Remember, they may be losing, but at least they’re here. Then, wait a decade for the team to threaten to move, so you can start all over again! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Niceguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mr.Niceguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Niceguy)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-your-sports-franchise-skips-town/267743/22 "2004-10-06T19:53:10Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > You can have 'em! And keep 'em!! > > They’ve been nothing but a money pit for this State! > > Their owner would be a great help to the James boys, if he could haul his butt onto a horse! > > If the Tennessee Titans leave, GOOD RIDDANCE! :mad: :mad: :mad: Sorry to hear that. I’m not from Tennessee though Gatlinburg and Memphis are two of my favorite places to visit. We already have a team here now so you can hold on to them Titans for a while. I’m still gonna root for 'em though, unless they are playing the Panthers, which rarely happens. Thanks for your involuntary financial support of a team you don’t like. God bless Tex… um Tenn…ahh nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-your-sports-franchise-skips-town/267743/23 "2004-10-06T20:45:05Z")
Yawn. Then ask: what took you so long to realize you suck? (who’s from Montreal, and lived in Vancouver when the Grizzlies vanished) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-your-sports-franchise-skips-town/267743/24 "2004-10-07T05:19:19Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > The Browns are still dormant, aren’t they? 🙂 No, no, that should read _doormat_ 😉 While we’re on the subject, I’d just like to crow about being tied for first in the SDMB Christian “The Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye Invitational Fantasy Football League, and 3-1 (and tied for second) in the SDMB Fantasy League. Crowing over. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-your-sports-franchise-skips-town/267743/25 "2004-10-07T13:41:48Z")
I hate the idea of tax dollars going to subsidize private businesses, especially for something as frivolous as entertainment (which is all pro sports are). So, on one hand, I applaud cities that refuse to succumb to blackmail. I applaud cities that stand up to owners who say “I’ll move my team if you don’t build me a fancy new stadium and let me use it for free.” I applaud cities that tell such greedy owners “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” BUT… Why is it that such cities (apart from Los Angeles) almost always turn right around and spend MORE money to get a new team than they’d have had to spend to keep the old one??? I mean, if the people of Houston didn’t want to throw money at Bud Adams and the Oilers, fine! If they thought Bud Adams was a jerk, fine! But as soon as the Oilers left, Houstonians turned right around and gave Bob McNair WAY more to bring an expansion team to Houston than Bud Adams ever asked for! Similarly, it’s fine by me that Cleveland stood firm and wouldn’t subsidize Art Modell. But as soon as he took the Browns to Baltimore, the people of Cleveland shelled out way MORE money for the new Browns franchise than Modell was asking for. So, all I can say is: people, either stand firm or knuckle under. If you really believe it’s wrong to subsidize a private business with tax money, tell the blackmailing owners to drop dead, and let them leave. But DON’T do that if you’re going to turn around and subsidize the replacement team. IF you’re eventually going to drop your pants and bend over anyway, do it the first time. It’s a lot easier and a lot cheaper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-your-sports-franchise-skips-town/267743.md?page=1)