# What do you do when you're the last one? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 24, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427 "2005-01-24T16:56:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/21 "2005-01-25T18:01:39Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I’ve noticed this too with friends and family with kids. I don’t think they do it on purpose; it’s just a case of their lives and priorities and interests changing dramatically. We did actually go out and find new friends; we joined a No Kidding group - a bunch of childless-by-choice people. I know that some of them are doing it deliberately. I had one even tell me; “Well since you have no kids,w e have nothing in common anymore.” That hurt. I’m not the one who changed, and I didn’t want to give up my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/22 "2005-01-25T18:38:44Z")
You could always move to Los Angeles, and get your own spin-off. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/23 "2005-01-25T18:51:28Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > Huh, I’ve never heard of that either. I wonder if it recently took on this new meaning, or if I’m just obtuse? Judging by some of the threads I’ve seen here about unmarried male playwrights in 19th-century England, etc, I wouldn’t be surprised if the phrase was at least a century old. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/24 "2005-01-25T18:51:21Z")
I have a few single friends outside my core group, but basically I’m in the same boat. Even the couple of random single friends don’t feel very ‘single’ since they’re stuck in maniacal must-find-someone mode and I’ve got a fairly short attention span for endless date chatter. However, I’m also a parent so I think in my group we tend to forget who’s single or coupled and I’m just another Mom. Yes, sitting with the empty chair that holds all the coats and purses sucks. Yes, listening to everyone make big Valentines day plans sucks. However, not having the drama of expectations that my partner doesn’t meet or all the little hurts that relationships bring, that part’s okay. We’re in our thirties and forties, by now there aren’t many available singles left in any of our circles circles, it’s all played out. Every few months I get asked if I’m seeing anyone new, which is rather annoying since if I were they’d likely know about it, but life goes on. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/25 "2005-01-25T19:07:59Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Yes, listening to everyone make big Valentines day plans sucks. Oh good lord don’t get me started. Especially after xmas (which I don’t celebrate) and new years (another notorious couples holliday) :rolleyes: > [@featherlou](#): > > First, we’re going to need a picture, and you’re probably not as unattractive as you think you are. I really am. I’d post a pic, but I don’t really have any that are on the web or those new-fangled computer-things. Oh, and totally off-topic- I’m posting this smiley cos I have no idea what the heck it’s supposed to be. Tiredness / yawning? :o ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/26 "2005-01-25T19:16:09Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Yes, listening to everyone make big Valentines day plans sucks. And then there are my friends, who _got married_ on St. Valentine’s Day. At least it makes it easier to remember their anniversary. We need a name for this group of people to which we seem to belong. “Left Behinds” or \ “Quirky Alones” will NOT do. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/27 "2005-01-25T21:21:00Z")
Oooh, and it can’t be alliterative like Super Sexy Singles or any cutesty vomit-inducing stuff, either! And please tell me we’re not going to make the parent/non-parent distinction, I don’t think I could stand being exluded yet again. Might I propose that membership in our group carry with it an implied obligation to one another? Like, say I get invited to a wedding in Waaaaay Over Here…will **ArrMatey!** consent to being my rent-a-date so I don’t get clucked over for attending _gasp_ alone? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/28 "2005-01-25T21:31:53Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > Sorry if that went over your head there. I’m just so sick of the “dick in glass case” thing. Every time a man whines about being single, or having a female friend that doesn’t want to have sex with him, someone always comes up with the “dick in glass case” comment. It happens so often in these types of threads that, by process of elimination, _every_ woman must have one. I don’t, and I feel left out. These “dicks in glass cases” must be available at every corner drugstore, but I haven’t seen one anywhere. > > I’ve _never_ viewed any of my male friends that way, and I don’t know _any_ woman who has, and I find it incredibly insulting. I regret to inform you that your mind reading skills need a little work. Better luck next time. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/29 "2005-01-25T23:45:15Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Might I propose that membership in our group carry with it an implied obligation to one another? > > Like, say I get invited to a wedding in Waaaaay Over Here…will **ArrMatey!** consent to being my rent-a-date so I don’t get clucked over for attending _gasp_ alone? Sure, sounds like a good plan. And sure, I clean up okay for weddings (in fact, the only photo I actually have of myself is standing beside my soon-to-be-married-at-the-time brother.) Oh, and ‘rent’? Heck, I’ll go just to spread incredible stories about you! (“Really! She saved my life! Pulled the crocodile right off me!”) ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/30 "2005-01-26T00:45:20Z")
**ArrMatey!** , if your profile is accurate, you’re only 33. You HAVE time. Not all the time in the world, but time. Don’t go giving up yet. And when it comes to ugly, women tend to be more understanding than men, IMHO. How to feel better about being single? Rough one. Don’t give up on your old friends, but make a concerted effort to get out there and join something that will lead to new ones. How about co-ed softball? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/31 "2005-01-26T02:48:10Z")
> [@ArrMatey!](#): > > Oh, and totally off-topic- I’m posting this smiley cos I have no idea what the heck it’s supposed to be. Tiredness / yawning? :o Dear, it’s supposed to be an embarrased smiley. No, it doesn’t look like it…unless you’re embarrased about sex. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/32 "2005-01-26T03:56:41Z")
> [@ArrMatey!](#): > > Sure, sounds like a good plan. And sure, I clean up okay for weddings. And wear the eyepatch, too! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/33 "2005-01-26T04:40:31Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I know that some of them are doing it deliberately. > > I had one even tell me; “Well since you have no kids,w e have nothing in common anymore.” > > That hurt. I’m not the one who changed, and I didn’t want to give up my friend. That’s just plain rude, kids or no. I don’t mean to be callous, but it sounds like you’re better off without a “friend” like that in your life. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/34 "2005-01-26T08:20:05Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Dear, it’s supposed to be an embarrased smiley. > > No, it doesn’t look like it…unless you’re embarrased about sex. It’s a mouth hug. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/35 "2005-01-26T16:22:58Z")
I know most of the suggestions of this have been in fun (or at least seem to be), but yeah, I think it’d be a darn good idea to start a group of those of us who are single who feel like they’re “The last one”. Something where we can vent, and punch the over romantic couples in the eye… Er, I mean, a place where we can vent and… Uhm… Eat popcorn! Yeah! There’s even a thread about that, right?! I’m serious, though. A group like that would be fun. Oh, and… > [@Queen Tonya](#): > > And wear the eyepatch, too! 😉 Arr! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/36 "2005-01-26T16:45:54Z")
I’m in! ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/37 "2005-01-26T22:30:27Z")
Okay, whom else is in? And we still need a name… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/38 "2005-01-26T22:53:01Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Like, say I get invited to a wedding in Waaaaay Over Here…will **ArrMatey!** consent to being my rent-a-date so I don’t get clucked over for attending _gasp_ alone? What bothers me most about being single in my 30s is that I most often get adressed to as “couple”… when I’m with my mother. BLEAGH! Well, that and being asked “so, how come you’re not married?” and the people who assume I must be a lesbian (nothing against lesbians; I’m straight). But the “bye couple” part is the caketaker. My friends include several singles, some of whom look pretty permasingle, so I’m lucky there. But I refuse to go to anything that smells of “class reunion” because most other women there have Husband and Kids as their main conversation points, married men don’t want to be seen talking with me in case the wife makes a scene (fer Chrissake… this is people I’ve played in a sandbox with), and the single men all look like they’re wondering how come I’m not married but don’t dare ask (they’re afraid I’ll answer “I’m gay”). Maybe I should get a “Hi, I’m single, not gay and not particularly searching” Tshirt. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/39 "2005-01-26T23:10:58Z")
Hey now, can we get those T-shirts for everyone? Or maybe a bumper sticker? I love how _we_ can be just fine with being single, it’s everyone else that’s uncomfortable with it yet somehow they expect their discomfort to be our issue. Class reunions are right up there with weddings, **Nava**. If you’re not going with a group of buddies, it totally qualifies for a date from one of our group. (just between us girls, try the pirate, he’s fun 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427/40 "2005-01-27T04:09:47Z")
:: jumps up and down :: Pick me! Pick me! Er… I’m in. > [@Nava](#): > > My friends include several singles, some of whom look pretty **permasingle** , so I’m lucky there. “Permasingle”. I like that. Maybe not as the name of our group though–it sounds too much like giving in, or giving up, or something\*. > [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Hey now, can we get those T-shirts for everyone? Or maybe a bumper sticker? I have a CaféPress shop that I haven’t done anything with in a year or so… maybe I can throw something together in the next few weeks. T-shirt ideas, anyone? > [@Anaamika](#): > > I had one even tell me; “Well since you have no kids,w e have nothing in common anymore.” Holy crap, that’s bad. Definitely deserves a pitting. Arrr! 🙂 [sub]\*Although, in physics-geek mode, I like the idea of a shirt saying “Welcome to the Permasingularity”. 🙂 [/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-when-youre-the-last-one/286427.md?page=3)