# What do you do with jewelry given by an ex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097 "2006-03-12T23:04:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/1 "2006-03-12T23:04:54Z")
What do you do with jewelry given to you by an ex boyfriend/girlfriend (or husband/wife)? Give it back? Give it away? Keep it but not wear it? Keep it and still wear it? Mine is locked up in the safe because I have no idea what to do with it but I don’t want to see it or wear it. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/2 "2006-03-12T23:11:28Z")
Engagement rings are returned, as well as “promise” rings and the like. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/3 "2006-03-12T23:24:07Z")
Legally, engagement rings are gifts and there is no legal reason to return them if the engagement is broken, although many people don’t feel comfortable keeping expensive jewelry from an ex-fiance. But then, I know women who’ve broken engagements and had the stones from the engagement rings re-set into other jewelry so YMMV. Personally I have two (very cheap) rings given to me by former boyfriends, along with a couple of watches given me by one of the same exes. The rings are sitting in my jewelry box and the watches are sitting on a dresser. I never wear any of them. I’d sell them if I could but they’re pretty much junk. I felt no compulsion to return any of the jewelry but even if I had felt so I had no idea where to find either of the exes. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/4 "2006-03-12T23:46:34Z")
My engagement ring from my ex is sitting in a nearby jewellery store with a price tag on it, being sold on commission. Another ring from another ex was given to an old lady co-worker who loved it, and always complimented me on it, so when we broke up, I gave it to her. She was thrilled. I always get rid of it. I don’t need old junk laying around to remind me of a bad relationship. Perhaps it would have been different if the relationships had ended better, but as it is, the first guy was abusive/cheated, the second guy cheated. Goodbye, jewellery, you’re as worthless as the giver, now. Had they ended better, I might have considered keeping the rings, perhaps wearing them on a different finger, or maybe giving them to a family member. Or maybe taking it to a jeweller and seeing if I could have something else made out of it, a pendant, bracelet, or a new ring. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/5 "2006-03-12T23:57:13Z")
Keep it, unless it’s an engagement ring. I gave a gorgeous diamond and saphire set to my sister, and she’s handed it down to my neice. My neice doesn’t know the source, only that it used to be mine and it’s become a lovely family pass down. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/6 "2006-03-13T01:07:15Z")
I have a lovely diamond solitaire earring and pendant set which my ex gave me as a birthday gift. I would no more return them than I would return the other gifts he gave me. Would you give back a housecoat, or books, or cds? If it had been an engagement or promise ring, I would have offered to return it. If he declined, I would have had it made into something I’d love. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/7 "2006-03-13T04:17:38Z")
I got ruby earrings and a ruby necklace from an ex-boyfriend. As far as I know they’re sitting around at my mother’s house somewhere, or they might be in some boxes in my basement. For all I know, I threw them out at some point. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/8 "2006-03-13T07:38:35Z")
After I got divorced, I gave my wedding ring to a stripper at a topless joint. In retospect, it probably wasn’t the smartest thing in the world to do, but it sure felt good at the time. As a matter of fact, I just gave myself quite the chuckle. My thanks to the OP. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/9 "2006-03-13T07:53:08Z")
They got the houses and cars. Least I could do is keep the fucking bling bling. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/10 "2006-03-13T13:02:57Z")
I tried giving the diamond engagement ring back to my ex when we divorced, he refused. I thought about having it made into something, but that seemed odd. So I sold it and bought a Saab. 😃 Anyhow, he made off with plenty in the divorce. I didn’t really feel obligated to give him anything back except the ring, for some vague moral reason. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/11 "2006-03-13T13:32:19Z")
My understanding is that for engagement rings, the ring is only returned if the woman is the one doing the breaking up. If the guy does it, it’s a gift. Judge Judy doesn’t go by those rules, but she’s wrong. And a bitch. The other jewelry? If you like it and don’t mind wearing it, go for it. If not, re-gift or sell it, or have it re-set. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/12 "2006-03-13T13:56:36Z")
I’ve still got a bracelet and necklace given to me by my ex. I don’t want to sell them, because they’re pretty, and suit me rather well, but on the downside, I don’t particularly want to wear them either, because, well, they’re from the ex. My mum reckons I should just wear them, as its only jewellery, but I’m not so convinced. It’d feel ‘odd’ to be wearing something from my ex, especially as we don’t keep in contact, and the break up was very one sided. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/13 "2006-03-13T14:36:37Z")
My ex-husband has my wedding set, as well as his own ring. He’s planning to use the stones to have something made for our daughter one day. There was one ex-fiance, though, who deserved for me to pawn the damn ring and I did. I was rather shocked and amused when I only got $30 for it. I used the money to buy a pair of shoes from Payless and lunch at Chick-Fil-A. God, that was like twelve years ago. Time flies when you leave a bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/14 "2006-03-13T15:07:49Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > There was one ex-fiance, though, who deserved for me to pawn the damn ring and I did. I was rather shocked and amused when I only got $30 for it. I used the money to buy a pair of shoes from Payless and lunch at Chick-Fil-A. God, that was like twelve years ago. Time flies when you leave a bastard. [minor but perhaps relevant hijack] Don’t expect to get much for your jewellery at a pawn shop. My engagement ring was appraised at $2600 US, yet the most any pawn shop would offer for it was $80. The jewellery store where it is now sitting? The price tag reads $300. It’s been sitting there for over a year. I gave eBay a whirl before taking it to the jewellery store: yeah right. I ended up _owing_ money in listing fees, trying to beat the heavy hitters (other jewellery stores with better offers/merchandise/savvy). I started my auction off at $1, and still got nothing. $30 on the spot at a pawn shop, in your hand, end of story? My friend, you got a _great_ deal! [/mbprh] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/15 "2006-03-13T15:13:43Z")
Pawn shop here, too. But I knew the guy - he was pretty fair with what he gave me. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/16 "2006-03-13T15:40:46Z")
IANAL but the Engagement ring has to be offered back, otherwise he can sue and will collect. It’s considered part of a contract. The rest you keep. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/17 "2006-03-13T15:51:35Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > IANAL but the Engagement ring has to be offered back, otherwise he can sue and will collect. It’s considered part of a contract. > > The rest you keep. In some states this is true. A pretty good handful, but not every state. I don’t think OK has a rule for this, but the OP may want to look it up. In California, I think, it also depends on if the man was the one to dissolve the engagement. If he did, he’s got nothing. If _she_ did, he could possibly get it back. In Montana, you don’t have to give the ring back, period, no matter who broke things up. No cite at the moment; I just remember covering my ass and doing a little bit of research before I sold off the ring. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/18 "2006-03-13T17:04:15Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > IANAL but the Engagement ring has to be offered back, otherwise he can sue and will collect. It’s considered part of a contract. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/19 "2006-03-13T17:43:33Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Legally, engagement rings are gifts and there is no legal reason to return them if the engagement is broken, although many people don’t feel comfortable keeping expensive jewelry from an ex-fiance. Although it may vary by state, in most cases (and, specifically in New York), an engagement ring is considere a “gift in contemplation of marriage,” and must be returned if the contemplated marriage does not occur. Although the older authority examines whose “fault” it was that the marrige did not occur, more current case law recognizes that the breakup of an engagement (like the breakup of a marriage) will occur due to the mutual incompatiblity of the parties, and the ring should be returned to the giver whatever the circumstances of the breakup. I know this because I took an engagement ring return case to trial a few years ago. My client got a judgment for the original purchase price of the ring (plus interest), which she had foolishly sold back to a jewler for a much lower price after he had made a formal demand for the return of the ring. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097/20 "2006-03-13T17:49:34Z")
> [@Billdo](#): > > My client got a judgment for the original purchase price of the ring (plus interest), which she had foolishly sold back to a jewler for a much lower price after he had made a formal demand for the return of the ring. I should clarify that my client got the judgment against his ex-fiancee, who had sold the ring. I don’t think that the final judgment is on line, but the decision dismissing her counterclaims can be found [here (PDF file)](http://decisions.courts.state.ny.us/fcas/fcas_docs/2002sep/30060184220013sciv.pdf). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-with-jewelry-given-by-an-ex/348097.md?page=2)