# What do you give for a wedding gift?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 11, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568 "2007-04-11T00:18:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/1 "2007-04-11T00:18:49Z")
So I’m going to a friend’s wedding and I want to give her and her husband something that is unique and precious and special. I have a budget of $200.
She’s one of my best friends, and I while I would know what to give her for a birthday present, a wedding gift is a little different.
Help?
Advice?
Suggestions?
Thanks muchly 🙂
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### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/2 "2007-04-11T00:25:09Z")
Tell us what you can about the couple.
I often make up a basket of gourmet goodies, but I’m guessing you have something a little more permanent in mind.
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### Author:  [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/3 "2007-04-11T00:26:52Z")
Money. I always give money. It was my favorite wedding gift to receive, so that’s what I give. I save gifts for the shower.
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### Author:  [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/4 "2007-04-11T00:34:39Z")
Spices. I always give spices. [Penzey’s](http://www.penzeys.com), to be specific. They have gift boxes in lots of different price ranges; for $200, you can get a fantastic assortment.
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### Author:  [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/5 "2007-04-11T00:40:22Z")
thanks for the suggestions guys.
Well they’ve been together a long time - 10+ years, and finally they’ve decided to make it formal. I know they’re finding it hard financially, as they’ve just bought a house this year and they are paying off two cars also.
She is a bookworm and he is a football nerd.
I could give cash, but I’d like to give something a little more personal… If I can find the perfect gift.
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### Author:  [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/6 "2007-04-11T01:34:03Z")
I remember someone (could have been from this board) gave their friend a photo album with written well-wishes from friends, favourite memories with the couple, photos, etc. And they’d put money (different denominations to make it interesting) in every second or third page so the couple would find it as they leafed through the album. Something like that might be a nice balance between personal and practical.
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### Author:  [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/7 "2007-04-11T05:06:10Z")
Is there something you know of that they would like to have for their new house but can’t afford? Or something they’d like to have but won’t spend money on because it’s a low priority, after the necessities? I’d look for something special that they won’t buy for themselves because they just can’t justify the expense, and maybe that signifies this new start for them.
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### Author:  [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/8 "2007-04-11T05:11:23Z")
Are they registered somewhere?
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/9 "2007-04-11T06:41:28Z")
[QUOTE=Caridwen]
Money. I always give money. It was my favorite wedding gift to receive, so that’s what I give. I save gifts for the shower.
[/QUOTE]
If the happy couple is young and/or broke, I have found money to be the perfect gift. It is always happily accepted. It’s usually what the couple need and want most.
The photo album idea is great, too. I wouldn’t do it, because I don’t have talents in that direction, but I would have liked to receive one.
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### Author:  [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/10 "2007-04-11T06:49:53Z")
If they have a house…a tree for their garden/yard. They can plant it and as their tree grows so does their love( awwwww).
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### Author:  [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/11 "2007-04-11T09:30:27Z")
If they have registered, I strongly advise you to get them something on their list. When my wife and I got married, we were young and just starting out and I was still in grad school and we were poor, and so we actually registered for things we needed. Thus, when people trying to give us something unique and memorable gave us something not on our registry list, we usually ended up receiving something useless that we didn’t like, instead of something that we needed and wanted. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think it is selfish to try to give the couple something unique and memorable–you are trying to make them remember _you_, and making the event about _you_. It is not about you; it is about them. Get them what they asked for.
Oh, and if they haven’t registered, then ignore all of the above.
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### Author:  [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/12 "2007-04-11T10:06:22Z")
[QUOTE=Sophistry and Illusion]
Oh, and if they haven’t registered, then ignore all of the above.
[/QUOTE]
They’ve not registered. I am in no way trying to make this about myself, I was merely asking for advice. They are not young, they are an older couple (ie. 35ish).
They are actually not expecting any gifts, but as the bride is a very close friend of mine, I wanted to give them something to mark the occassion. I am in no way trying to be selfish or dominate the day or anything like that, apparently contrary to appearances.
I just thought it would be a nice gesture. Apparently not. 😛
Thanks to all for your feedback.
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### Author:  [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/13 "2007-04-11T10:17:17Z")
[QUOTE=threnodyangelfire]
They’ve not registered. I am in no way trying to make this about myself, I was merely asking for advice. They are not young, they are an older couple (ie. 35ish).
They are actually not expecting any gifts, but as the bride is a very close friend of mine, I wanted to give them something to mark the occassion. I am in no way trying to be selfish or dominate the day or anything like that, apparently contrary to appearances.
I just thought it would be a nice gesture. Apparently not. 😛
Thanks to all for your feedback.
[/QUOTE]
Oh. In that case, get them something unique.
I have nothing to suggest.
I guess that makes me pretty useless in this thread.
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### Author:  [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/14 "2007-04-11T14:17:07Z")
I tend to get personal gifts…a basket maybe containing a gift certificate for a massage, dinner for two at a local restaurant, movie tickets, that kind of thing.
If they’re not the kind to go out, a gift certificate for their favorite food or local butcher store, some candles, wine.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
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### Author:  [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/15 "2007-04-11T14:57:25Z")
> [@threnodyangelfire](#):
>
> I just thought it would be a nice gesture. Apparently not.
It’s not a horrible idea. On the other hand, a budget of $200 is a lot of money to spend on something distinctive and unique, and therefore possibly unwanted. But hard to get rid of because it made Susie so happy to give me this (kitchen gadget, antique vase, piece of modern art, print of non-modern art).
And cash, while potentially tacky, and certainly not unique, distinctive and memorable, is always useful.
But you’d still like to give them something special–I’d consider something like a nice set of sheets, set of wine glasses, set of glass mixing bowls, etc.
Or, I just had a semi-brilliant idea–especially if they have plans for an exciting honeymoon. Offer to pay to have a picture taken on their honeymoon blown up and framed nicely behind glass. My brother and his wife have two nice pictures of mountains from their honeymoon which dominate the decorations in their livingroom.
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### Author:  [@Queuing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queuing)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/16 "2007-04-11T14:59:40Z")
Not married so I don’t know from direct experience, however the people I know well enough to have asked this question who have taken the big step always told me they really liked getting gifts they had registered for. It was what they wanted and needed as a newly married couple. One couple put it best when they thanked me for getting them something off the registry (this is the couple I am closest too) saying they didn’t need a “special gift” from me as its not like they would ever forget me or lose touch. They were happy I got them something from the Registry, and that it was just a place setting. Everyone wanted to try to get them special things, rather then just things they actually asked for.
This has been the advice I have always followed since. If you are close enough to the couple you will be remembered anyway, why not get them something they ask for? And something that isn’t a popular registry gift (see aforementioned place setting)
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### Author:  [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/17 "2007-04-11T15:03:41Z")
I gave my step-sister a wooden fertility carving from the Sepik River area of Papua New Guinea. It was basically a wooden carving of a man with a two-foot schlong.
Other than that, if I go to a lavish reception, I’ve adopted the style of my Vietnamese friends, and will give money to pay for what I eat and drink, and then some. I generally find giving money a bit horrible, but if the couple want the memory of a huge party, then it can work.
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### Author:  [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/18 "2007-04-11T15:03:49Z")
[QUOTE=eenerms]
If they have a house..a tree for their garden/yard. They can plant it and as their tree grows so does their love( awwwww).
[/QUOTE]
With $200 you can get a very nice tree. You could give an axe as well, just in case the marriage doesn’t thrive but the tree does. 🙂
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### Author:  [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/19 "2007-04-11T15:35:34Z")
One idea (not mine): A picnic basket, filled with picnic-ware. Plastic plates, thermos, etc. Who owns a picnic basket these days?
In the past I have given a gift certificate to a restaurant, I figure I’m giving them a night out together. That and a gift certificate to buy theater tickets, so they could pick the show and the date, but this was local to Chicago. Even if they don’t \*love \* my gift, its not something they have to keep in the closet for my benefit. And if they really don’t want to use the gift certificates themselves, they give them to their parents or something, I wouldn’t know.
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### Author:  [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-give-for-a-wedding-gift/399568/20 "2007-04-11T15:46:21Z")
I’m personally a fan of clocks. Like [this one](http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_5/602-0146614-9858263?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000ACOH0M). I also enjoy giving nice vases. To me, they’re something you keep forever. We received several lovely vases for our wedding and I use all of them. I also remember who gave each of them to us. Another nice gift is a crystal picture frame for them to put a wedding photo in. Good luck!
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