# What do you just love about newbies? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2001, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542 "2001-04-02T20:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/41 "2001-04-03T17:50:00Z")
DANG! I meant 4! 400 posts! 🙂 [sub]well I guess that disproved my wit and wisdom. Im the class of 5 of '99’s dunce â˜č [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/42 "2001-04-03T17:58:25Z")
â˜č SEE!!! [sub]stupid work internet connection[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/43 "2001-04-03T18:34:17Z")
Thanks, **FairyChatMom**. I’m glad someone caught my sarcasm in both posts. Unless
you’re being sarcastic now! So answer me this. Are you now or have you ever been sarcastic in this thread? Answer me! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pegosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@pegosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pegosaurus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/44 "2001-04-03T19:00:47Z")
Hey. In all fairness, I thought your sarcasm (and humor) was obvious in your second post. I hate to say it but maybe the smiley face would have helped (ahem, especially for us newbies)😉 Anyway, Hail Mahaloth!! ---
**Author:** ![nikjohns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@nikjohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikjohns)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/45 "2001-04-03T19:18:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kayeby \* > \*\ ***Man** that took a long time to type! And it doesn’t even look authentic! > > ::kicks dirt:: > > I guess I really am a stupid newbie. 😃 > > : **Kayeby** previews, just to make sure she hasn’t stuffed the coding up:: \*\* Try +|-|i5 link PhoR 4 rE4L “lEET $pE4|\<” tr4||5l4+Or: [http://www.geocities.com/mnstr\_2000/](http://www.geocities.com/mnstr_2000/) w0nD3rPHUL-1$|-| ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/46 "2001-04-03T20:14:19Z")
They suck. I love that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lil\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lil\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lil_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/47 "2001-04-03T21:51:40Z")
Y’know
 I hate to brag, but when I was a brand newbie I got to have Satan’s baby. Does that put me in the newbie elite? And just exactly how many times do I have to post before I loose my newbie status? I was kinda hoping to be the Eternal Newbie. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/48 "2001-04-03T22:27:25Z")
sO, wARez thA pr0n? [sub]oh, before i forget:[/sub] 😉 P’raps it might be time to re-start that Adopt-a-Newbie program? I got acclimated real quick thanks to **Persephone**. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/49 "2001-04-03T22:40:21Z")
As an Evil Conspiring Oldster, I say this: I am Switzerland. Reviving dead threads still bugs me, though. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Sue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Sweet\_Sue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Sue)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/50 "2001-04-03T22:45:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **Well, _I_ caught the sarcasm. I don’t know if that’s any comfort to you, but I felt it had to be said.** \*\*sub         [/sub]O         Âș       sub)[/sub]         +     \*\*\*excuse me[/i[ . \*\*\*         A         " \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/51 "2001-04-03T22:48:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I am Switzerland. Uh-oh, 'spree. Here comes Arnold, and boy does he look pissed! 🙂 Go class of 5-99! ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/52 "2001-04-03T22:54:16Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Enderw24** _ > > Wo, I chumba run, > Wo, I chumba run, > Wo, I chumba run, > Ne hamma, Ne hamma, Ne hamma chi chen. “All together now!” I didn’t know newbies knew Chinese? [aside]I forced this song on one of my many Asian boys to see his reaction - I damn near got beaten up! “That’s so racist!” he screams. But, of course, that’s Monty Python. How can we forget “Never Be Rude To An Arab?” I also asked him to translate the Chinese (I think it’s Mandarin - he knows both) and, after much bugging and under protest, turns out it means, “I like Chinese/I like Chinese/I like Chinese/Hello, hello, hello, goodbye.”[/aside] Well done, **ender**. And since this thread was meant in jest, let’s hope we _don’t_ get into the “when does a newbie become an oldie” question - it’s quite dead. And **Cranky** , I dunno - there’s something to be said for someone’s history. All too often a newbie will “skewer a sacred cow” simply for the sake of skewering - and it’s the newbie who ends up on the barbecue anyway. I find it very rare that oldsters somehow need or even deserve lambasting for any reason. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/53 "2001-04-03T22:59:10Z")
I love newbies. I love having a community that is vibrant, growing, changing. I love having new people come to gain knowledge, share their own knowledge, and have fun. I love meeting new people. I do mind that people do not search first before asking, either on here or on Google. But this behavior is not limited to newbies. We were all newbies, once. ---
**Author:** ![gypsy\_gurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@gypsy\_gurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gypsy_gurl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/54 "2001-04-04T05:18:37Z")
things i’ve learned as a newbie
 1. it’s quality over quantity
so i didn’t even **think** of my post count in the monosylabic thread 😃 2. you’ve got the guns
but **WE’VE** got the numbers woohahahahahahha 3. Hi opal! (i think i read something about saying hi to felines
is it a cat?? hehehe) 4. if you actually read posts you’d be amazed at all the little details you can find out about the dopers
and their inside jokes 😉 p.s. i caught the sarcasm right away 😃 ::waits for a pat on the head:: gooooood newbie
sit
stay ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2001, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/55 "2001-04-04T10:48:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mahaloth \* > \*\*So answer me this. Are you now or have you ever been sarcastic in this thread? Answer me! 😉 \*\* Sarcastic?? Moi?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/56 "2001-04-07T22:45:37Z")
As a newbie I will keep my eyes straight ahead knowing that I am working my way to the day when I will make my 1539th post. Then I hope I have the wisdom to retire knowing that I have reached the pinnacle and it is all down hill from there. In the meantime, will someone tell me who Wally is? ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/57 "2001-04-08T17:17:22Z")
The no one is allowed to post until they have 50 posts line is indeed Alphagene. It was my sig for a while. The only quarrel I have with newbies is when they decide that in their grand experience of 4 days and 15 posts they are qualified to tell everyone else exactly what is wrong with the board. Re the Wally thing: Maybe we just need to have some kind of FAQ section that explains that (among other things-- witness the AFAICS confusion); as time goes by it’s going to become a more and more frequent question. –John ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/58 "2001-04-08T19:48:29Z")
Pssst! Yue Han! [We’re working on it](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64590)! ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/59 "2001-04-09T04:45:32Z")
What I love about **Mahaloth** : The way he/she automatically assumes I’m a dumbass just because I registered only a month ago. The way he/she automatically assumes _everyone’s_ a dumbass just because they haven’t been on the board for a _whole year!_ like he/she has. The way he/she tries to tell us all that he/she is only kidding
however, he/she assures us that this is meant in lightheartedness only _after_ everyone gets mad at him/her. The way he/she was obviously _never_ a newbie, so it’s okay for him/her to make fun of the rest of us who aren’t quite as lucky! Note to **Mahaloth** (and some others as well): I figured out how to use vB code by myself (seriously
I didn’t look at the “how to” section until only yesterday) and I have figured out what various acronyms mean (IIRC for example). Don’t give me crap about being a complete airhead. There _are_ intelligent people in the world who can figure stuff out for themselves. Not every newbie is a moron, and not every moron is a newbie. ---
**Author:** ![Bboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Bboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bboy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542/60 "2001-04-09T08:57:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Who the hell is Wally, anyway? Careful there **TurboDog** 
It’s “Who the hell _WAS_ Wally?” and the answer is, he was a brilliant, humorous, thoughtful, talented poster, and a beloved fixture around these parts
 but recently, suddenly "he _is-no-more . . . **'ELLO WALLY!!**. . . See? I’m tellin you, he’s definitely dead!" “Neauh, E’s just bluffin’!” “He is a late poster! . . . He has CEASED\_TO\_BE !”_ “Neauuw, ‘E’s jist pinin’ fuhr’ th’ FJORDS!” "But you’ve nailed 'is feet to the _BLOODY PERCH!"_ -Sorry, I wanted to be a member of the Monty Python ref-club too
 I think Wally would have approved. > [@](#): > > Bah, newbies! I always thought we should institute the rule that only people with at least 50 posts should be allowed to post. > > (Shamelessly stealing a joke from, IIRC, Alphagene from about a year ago) Don’t feel too bad **waterj2** , Alphagene stole it from Evel Knevel. He said: “I want to tell all the kids out there, that these are very dangerous stunts, and you should _NEVER_ attempt anything like this
unless you’ve had _lots of practice._” > [@](#): > > DANG! I meant 4! 400 posts! That’s OK **pezpunk** , maybe there’s some kind of _Newbie/Dufas_ award for posting 4 times in a row
 How do _I_ feel about Newbies? Don’t think I have any room to talk, but I know they rarely use up so much real estate to say so little as **Spiritus Mundi**. > [@](#): > > What do I love about newbies? > They suck. > > I love that. > > 😉 Let’s see now
 what’s the code for ‘tongue-in-cheek smilie’? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-just-love-about-newbies/60542.md?page=4)