# What do you like most about being gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 15, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475 "2001-05-15T04:33:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/41 "2001-05-16T13:25:00Z")
**Astroboy** , I taught at ECC and ELS for six years in the Land of the Morning Calm (what a misnomer!), and _now_ you’re asking for sex tips? From the reports of my straight friends, Korean girls seem to have mastered the finer aspects of sexual technique, so I’m sure **Astrogirl** already knows anything I could teach her. (well, except for knowing when to use the definite and indefinite articles. Koreans have the hardest time learning that **Lizard,** it may come as a shock that it is possible to have blazingly hot man-on-man sex and **not** transmit naughty viruses. Safer sex education and a knowledge of managed risk are key. Your sexual identity is not a risk factor, it’s what you do with your partner that determines your chances of contracting an STD. Viruses only want a warm, moist, dark place to infest cells; they don’t ask if you’re gay or straight. Two gay men humping with rubbers are a lot safer then a straight boy plowing a girl skin-on-skin. Besides, my sexual repertoire with a new partner is pretty much limited to kissing, chest play, and mutual J/O, all safe and way hot when done properly. I only get into riskier areas with someone I’m doing on a regular basis and then only with caution. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/42 "2001-05-16T13:46:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goboy \* > **in the Land of the Morning Calm (what a misnomer)** No shit! MAN, I could go on and on about this… but I won’t… this is a thread for gay guys, after all… I am an intruder!😃 > [@](#): > > From the reports of my straight friends, Korean girls seem to have mastered the finer aspects of sexual technique, so I’m sure Astrogirl already knows anything I could teach her. Really? Really??? All of the Korean girls I know are completely innocent when it comes to sex… **AG** was a total virgin when I met her! And continued to be so for more than a year AFTER we were a serious item! She was worth the wait… The first time I asked her to kiss me, she was out the door and headed for the elevator before I had finished the word “kiss”! And that was after 5 or 6 months of dating! Everything **AG** knows about sex, I taught her… keep in mind that I don’t want to hurt her feelings by criticizing, so there are still a few things… About 2 years into our relationship, **AG** brought her best friend and her boyfriend over to my house one night. She said, “Hey! Why don’t you show (boyfriend) your new computer game?” I said, “But…” She said, “DO IT!” I said, “OK” and took boyfriend over to my computer… she and her best friend sat on the bed, and **AG** popped a tape into the VCR… while I kept the boyfriend occupied, **AG** and her friend were watching a porno, comparing notes! “Do YOU do that??” “Yeah, he likes it…” I ducked over to see that they were discussing a scene of a woman giving head to a guy… the next night, once **AG** knew that REAL people did such things to each other, was REALLY good!😃 Maybe your friends were dating with bar-girls (of which there are many here, as you know!)… ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/43 "2001-05-16T13:52:20Z")
After seeing this topic last night, I was wondering how long it would take for some “concerned” hetero to chime in about AIDS. Thanks for being so dependable **Lizard**. I am glad that didn’t kill the thread, keep it up folks, I’m rather enjoying it. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/44 "2001-05-16T16:06:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > \*\* > Lizard, if you want to start a thread about homosexual promiscuity and the issues involved, feel free. I think I know what conclusion will be reached, though. Some gay people are promiscuous, some aren’t. Just like straight people. Some gay people aren’t safe, some aren’t. Just like straight people. Some gay people die of AIDS, some straight people die of AIDS. > \*\* Don’t misunderstand my intentions. I’d rather not think gay = promiscuous. But when more than a few people in a thread about gayness laud how great casual sex is, what’s a guy to think? Sure, straight people die of AIDS. And how many threads do they start talking about how great it is to be able to sleep around? If they did, I’d say the _exact same things_ to them. _ **Promiscuity** _ is risky behavior, no matter what your orientation is. Isn’t that obvious? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Balduran_\*\* > After seeing this topic last night, I was wondering how long it would take for some “concerned” hetero to chime in about AIDS. Thanks for being so dependable Lizard. I am glad that didn’t kill the thread, keep it up folks, I’m rather enjoying it. \*\* Nah, I don’t care that much. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/45 "2001-05-16T16:57:44Z")
**Lizard** , please - I had to deal with this in the most unpleasant, messy and nasty of ways a while ago here, and I’d rather not jump into it again. Please don’t hijack this positive thread further, thanks. This thread reminds me of a great writer and speaker, Brian McNaught. In his one book of essays, On Being Gay, he includes an essay called “I Like It,” which I’ve read publicly many places where I’ve been called upon to discuss gay issues. I can’t find any quotes from it online at the moment, but it really is a great read - talks about gaydar, little “knowing glances,” feeling special, knowing that some of the stereotypes of fabulousness are true, being “outside the norm,” etc. I highly recommend the book, and that essay in particular. Thank, and when you’re down, listen to “A Little More Mascara” from “La Cage Aux Folles” when you’re depressed. Works every time. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/46 "2001-05-16T17:27:32Z")
Being gay makes you strong. If you spend your whole life being harassed, belittled, and derided, you either cave, or you learn to cope. Most gay people, with the help of some understanding friends, learn to cope. If every time you reveal who you really are, you get into the same arguments, covering the same tired points, dispelling the same myths, time and again, you either go postal, or learn patience and perserverance. Most gay people I know have a great capacity for wading into the standard arguments with great civility and erudition, though said actions may be preceded with a deep, heartfelt, dramatic “here we go again” sigh. While it’s not pleasant, being thrust involuntarily onto the stage of one of the most heated debates in our current society, the sort of adversity and bickering that results from the debate makes gay people that much more able to deal with anything that might come along. This kind of conflict helps to create a bond throughout our community; nothing like fighting a common adversary to draw people together. And the fight creates people who are brave, and determined, and caring, and patient, and sometimes just downright weird. I can’t think of a more interesting, more complex, more diverse group of people. I’m proud to be gay. ---
**Author:** ![Jeeves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@Jeeves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeeves)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/47 "2001-05-16T23:55:59Z")
What I love about being gay, besides all the good stuff above, is you get to be part of a kickass conspiracy to rule the world 😛 This quote sums it up best for me. “Well, what you have to understand, Scott, is that all gay people are connected via the Frienship Alerting Brotherhood Uniting Lifestyle Omni-Universal System(F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S.). Whenever one of us needs to get ahold of the other, we just send out a Direct International Visual Identificaion Exactor(D.I.V.I.N.E.) to get visual confirmation and contact. The whole thing is a very complex system, set up by the Fellowship Alerting General Group Overt Technologies System(F.A.G.G.O.T.S.). I have my card in my wallet. Unfortunately, I left my wallet in my black pants, but I can’t remember which PAIR of black pants!” BTW, if anyone knows where this comes from, let me know! A friend emailed it to me awhile back with now cite for it, and it is simply too wonderful not to give credit somewhere. Now, I am going to go hunt down my husband for . . . , well, I think you can all guess _wicked smile_ ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/48 "2001-05-17T01:55:08Z")
Whew, did I ever get here late! What I like most about being gay? Hrm… 1. The sex! And just not the frequency of it, but how we think differently about it. I strongly believe that gay people have been forced by their situation to strongly evaluate and detirmine for themselves what sex means to them rather than simply take the traditional roles dictated by society. 2. Self-confidence! I’ve gone from full drag to leather drag. I know just what I am; a man. It doesn’t matter what I wear or what’s swinging between my legs. To quote Romanosky & Philips, _I’m a man who loves men who love men!_ 3. Beards and longhair. Ain’t nothing better than a longhair dude with a nicely trimmed beard. _deep happy sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/49 "2001-05-18T03:40:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Freyr \* > \*\*Whew, did I ever get here late! > [snip] > I’ve gone from full drag to leather drag. \*\* What, this afternoon? Hmmmm, my kind of guy… Redboss [aka “Lois Offer” from 10 to 1.30, “BOSS” from 1.45 to 7.00] ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/50 "2001-05-18T11:49:23Z")
> [@](#): > > To quote Romanosky & Philips I thought you’d be taller!! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/51 "2001-05-22T13:00:32Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Lizard** _ > Don’t misunderstand my intentions. I’d rather not think gay = promiscuous. But when more than a few people in a thread about gayness laud how great casual sex is, what’s a guy to think? Sure, straight people die of AIDS. And how many threads do they start talking about how great it is to be able to sleep around? If they did, I’d say the _exact same things_ to them. _ **Promiscuity** _ is risky behavior, no matter what your orientation is. Isn’t that obvious? [Should I hire a hooker?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=34473) [Yup, I’m gonna hire a hooker](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=34869) [For all those who wondered what I did with a hooker on Thursday…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35060) :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/52 "2001-05-22T23:39:37Z")
Okay, so I’m not gay. I tried. It didnt work. (More on that in a bit…) But I noticed something very interesting during the little “stone the straight guy to death for his ignorant concern” discussion… My best friend/ex-roomie is gay. She’s a great girl and I love her muchly. She moved about 8 months ago to be with her girlfriend but came back to visit last week and I noticed something… She’s really into the Gay community and into “being an activist” but she doesnt like to field questions or join discussions with straight people concerning her orientation. I attributed this to her being insecure and wanting the fruits of being an activist without the labor. I consider myself a feminist and I field questions from people left and right, at times in defense and at times because well, knowledge is best when shared. I find it alarming that quite of few of you have posted about how you dislike the fact that your sexual orientation comes up in discussion all of the time… but really, I think it would be -alot- harder to be gay back when no one WOULD talk about it. They’d just look at you funny and avoid you from then on out. I dont think you should feel pressured to talk about it though. I really hope I dont do that with my gay friends. But really, if I walk into a room where two people have rainbow paraphenalia out the arse and are talking about how great the last Pride March was, I’m not going to pretend that their sexuality isnt on display. If I walked around with a vibrator hanging from my chest, I’d expect people to react differently to me than the average jane. The difference is, I enjoy the curiosity. =) Argh. That being said… the best thing I loved the most about my short stint as a lesbian was the fact that she always called me, just to say she was thinking about me… and I gathered an ENORMOUS collection of teddy bears and roses. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/53 "2001-05-23T00:47:38Z")
> [@](#): > > I find it alarming that quite of few of you have posted about how you dislike the fact that your sexual orientation comes up in discussion all of the time… but really, I think it would be -alot- harder to be gay back when no one WOULD talk about it. They’d just look at you funny and avoid you from then on out. Sigh. To refer you to my post on this subject: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Me!** \* > My least favorite thing about being gay: You can’t talk about being gay without having to defend yourself. You see, I don’t mind being part of political debates on the subject. Do a search on my username, and there I am, in GD, doing what I can to be rational. In the Pit, fighting like a rat on fire. In GQ, when it’s appropriate. In person, I answer all sorts of questions, on all sorts of matters, and pride myself in having good friends who consider themselves reformed homophobes. I do my part. But all the time? Just because someone drops a politically volatile comment in a gay thread that isn’t _about_ politics, does that mean that all the gay folks have to dogpile on it? I invited the poster to ask in a more appropriate forum, starting a thread in GQ or GD about sexual orientation and promiscuity. **Esprix’s** excellent response was: > [@](#): > > Lizard, please - I had to deal with this in the most unpleasant, messy and nasty of ways a while ago here, and I’d rather not jump into it again. Please don’t hijack this positive thread further, thanks. You might also note the number of responses that dealt with community, political activism, and the strength that being at the center of a controversy can give an individual. No-one here expressed any reluctance to join in the fight, and answer the questions we get asked all the time, once again. But this thread was not designed as a forum for that. There’s more to being gay than just politics. We were talking about all that other stuff. Any time you get asked the same questions over and over again, you tend to want a change of subject. Re-read the thread and ask yourself. You’re seeing a bunch of gay people happily discussing the great parts of being gay. How is that in any way politically detrimental to the gay rights movement? ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/54 "2001-05-23T02:59:38Z")
I guess that what it comes down to is that I can’t talk about my life without talking about being gay. ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475/55 "2001-05-23T03:23:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malkavia \* > \*\* > I find it alarming that quite of few of you have posted about how you dislike the fact that your sexual orientation comes up in discussion all of the time… but really, I think it would be -alot- harder to be gay back when no one WOULD talk about it. They’d just look at you funny and avoid you from then on out. > \*\* I dont mind talking about my sexual orientation, what I dislike is having to defend it from other people. Of course it would be harder to be gay when no one talked about it, what i gather that others are saying is they dont want to have to defend themselves from comments like Lizard posted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-like-most-about-being-gay/65475.md?page=2)