# What Do You Make a Conscious Effort to Do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 26, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688 "2009-09-26T23:02:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hobscrk777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a6a055/32.png) [@hobscrk777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobscrk777)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/1 "2009-09-26T23:02:06Z")
What are some things that you make a conscious effort to do? Things that, if you weren’t actively thinking about, would most likely not happen. Also, how have these things backfired on you? Here are three of mine. [ul] [li]Avoid the ue of non-fluencies[/li]Things such as “like”, “uh”, “um”, “hm”, etc. These things always sound somewhat unintelligent and disorganized when I hear others use them, so I make a conscious effort on my part _not_ to use them. Unfortunately, though, sometimes I talk faster than I think and I need to wait a moment to for my thoughts to catch up. Since I’m committed to avoiding the use of non-fluencies, this results in an abrupt pause in my speech. I’m not altogether sure this is any better than a drawn out “umm…”. [li]Ask people questions[/li]Rather than talk about myself, I make a conscious effort to ask people questions to get them talking about themselves. The drawback of this, though, is that sometimes I just don’t give a shit. It can also be hard (for me) to keep this up for too long. [li]Look at a girl’s face - not her rack[/li]This one is self explanatory. Talk about a challenge. [/ul] ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/2 "2009-09-26T23:30:40Z")
Clean up after myself! I apparently was born _without_ the “Betty Crocker Gene” ™, and housework does _not_ come naturally to me. Therefore, I make a conscious effort to clean up messes when I see them. Otherwise, the squalor would overrun us! Also, be a good mother. I feel I’ve succeeded (and continue to succeed) at this; but my mother was a psycho-bitch, and my father, while a good man, was an alcoholic, who drank alcoholically until I was 14, thereby being mostly unavailable to me during my formative years. He was also too drunk to do anything about my mother being a psycho-bitch. When I discovered, at age 24, I was pregnant (unplanned), the very first thing I decided was that I wanted to bear and keep the baby. The second thing I decided was that I wanted to be a _good_ mother, and set about figuring out just how to do that. Have I been a _perfect_ mother? Hells, no! Have I made mistakes? Yep. Thousands of them, at least. But I’ve made a conscious effort, over the past 22 years, to be a good mother. My oldest is now 22, my second daughter is 18, my third daughter is 9, so I am still actively “mothering” her. I think I do OK. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/3 "2009-09-26T23:39:48Z")
Interact with strangers. I’m very shy, but have had to train myself to act like I’m outgoing- in order to succeed in life and business, you need to be able to talk to people you don’t know. I don’t like it, I’m never comfortable with it, but I’ve become pretty good at faking it. So good that people can’t believe it when I tell them that I’m actually very shy. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/4 "2009-09-26T23:47:16Z")
When possible I buy stuff using coupons or when there is a sale; I imagine I save thousands each year by my shopping habits, and am always blown away how few of my friends ever seem to care about the price of anything. (of course I realise that its thier money and they are free to spend it anyway they please) Last night I went out for a few beers, and the bar had a special on a brand I dont usually drink, but it was half the cost of the other brews----I ended up saving ten bucks or so, and also realised that I have no problem at all with the taste of cold draught Coors… ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/5 "2009-09-26T23:53:14Z")
Challenge my own beliefs and preconceptions. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/6 "2009-09-27T00:15:37Z")
Check blind spots when reversing and changing lanes. There is no downside to doing this but I often have to remind myself to. ---
**Author:** ![Alpine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpine/32/17813_2.png) [@Alpine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpine)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/7 "2009-09-27T01:22:08Z")
I try to appreciate that I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I never want to take that for granted. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/8 "2009-09-27T01:31:24Z")
Deal with things that I am passionate about with logic instead of emotions. Deal with racial issues I have with white people (making great strides with this one, thanks to a couple of things, including counsel from a very wise and good friend…he is dragging me kicking and screaming, and also due to the dope/giraffe/domebo/mellophant boards). About the ‘um, uh’ thing. I think it is time for people to stop using this as a sign that one is inarticulate. Along with ‘profanities are a mark of low vocabulary’ we need to put this one to bed. It is just a natural thing that humans that speak do (oddly enough, I don’t do it, that I have noticed). It is not a marker that the speaker is unintelligent. Some of our greatest orators do it all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/9 "2009-09-27T01:37:07Z")
Improve my memory. Imho, one of the biggest reasons people have a bad memory is because they believe they have a bad memory. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/10 "2009-09-27T02:44:23Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Clean up after myself! I apparently was born _without_ the “Betty Crocker Gene” ™, and housework does _not_ come naturally to me. Therefore, I make a conscious effort to clean up messes when I see them. Otherwise, the squalor would overrun us! That, and visiting the Straight Dope daily, too. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/11 "2009-09-27T10:34:49Z")
Tell people the nice things about them that cross my mind, but–without conscious effort–I rarely say out loud. A good compliment has made my day before. So if I’m thinking something nice about someone, I try to let them know. Even if it’s a random stranger in front of me at the grocery store, she should know that I love her shoes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/12 "2009-09-27T12:40:07Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > Tell people the nice things about them that cross my mind, but–without conscious effort–I rarely say out loud. > > A good compliment has made my day before. So if I’m thinking something nice about someone, I try to let them know. Even if it’s a random stranger in front of me at the grocery store, she should know that I love her shoes. 🙂 That is mine too. I live 1,800 miles from where I grew up but I recently joined Facebook and a few other networking sites and got hooked with a whole lot of people that I grew up with or knew many years before in college or for work. I try to give everyone a compliment when I first correspond with them again but I always worry about sounding creepy especially for the females. It could be anything but it is always sincere or I wouldn’t write them back in the first place. I have woken up in a dead sweat wondering if I wrote something strange in the least and gone over my e-mails. It is always perfectly fine. Everyone enjoys a sincere compliment and people seem to respond to it. I have to work on being less reserved in person now too. ---
**Author:** ![Purgatory\_Creek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Purgatory\_Creek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purgatory_Creek)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/13 "2009-09-27T12:53:32Z")
I have to consciously remind myself every day that I have an obligation to my husband to stay alive. > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Alice the Goon** > Interact with strangers. I’m very shy, but have had to train myself to act like I’m outgoing- in order to succeed in life and business, you need to be able to talk to people you don’t know. I don’t like it, I’m never comfortable with it, but I’ve become pretty good at faking it. So good that people can’t believe it when I tell them that I’m actually very shy. I have to do this, too. I got really good at it in the early part of my life, so much so that people thought I was an extrovert. You have to keep it up, though. I never see anyone these days, and now I hide upstairs even when the phone rings. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/14 "2009-09-27T14:07:29Z")
Modulate my voice. I tend towards loudness, which I dislike and I know I have a terrible speaking voice. (I wonder if I might have benefited from elocution?) I also tend to be a chatterbox. Not a great combination, so I try to talk less and to talk more quietly. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/15 "2009-09-27T14:25:06Z")
> [@Purgatory\_Creek](#): > > I have to consciously remind myself every day that I have an obligation to my husband to stay alive. > I have to do this, too. I got really good at it in the early part of my life, so much so that people thought I was an extrovert. You have to keep it up, though. I never see anyone these days, and now I hide upstairs even when the phone rings. Absolutely serious question, no snark intended. Are you getting help? Because this sounds serious. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/16 "2009-09-27T14:31:05Z")
I try not to curse. First off, I don’t like it. Second, I’m too old to talk like that. Third, I find that it affects how I act in general. Of course, my teenager has to remind me that it’s a bathroom, not a potty. I also try to focus on others and not on myself, but hobscrk777 pretty much mentioned that one inthe OP. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Shroud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@The\_Shroud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Shroud)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/17 "2009-09-27T15:06:44Z")
Stifle my internal critic. I realized a while back that I was spending most of the day belittling myself and replaying episodes of minor embarrassment in my head. Consciously telling that voice to shut up has improved my self esteem. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/18 "2009-09-27T15:57:37Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Deal with things that I am passionate about with logic instead of emotions. > > . I am the complete opposite. I deal with everything with logic. Except _Twilight_ which is crap. ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/19 "2009-09-27T16:02:00Z")
Not interrupt people. I come from a family that interrupts each other constantly. When we sit down at dinner it can be a shouting match. I hate it, and yet I find myself doing it too. I’m trying to stop doing it, and when out with friends I make a conscience effort to bite my tongue and wait for a break in conversation. I don’t think there’s a real downside to this, though I’m still working on it. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688/20 "2009-09-27T16:47:39Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > I am the complete opposite. I deal with everything with logic. Except _Twilight_ which is crap. Perhaps the _only_ redeeming quality of Twilight is that it is _equally_ crappy on both and intellectual _and_ emotional level!😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-to-do/511688.md?page=2)