# What do you never find funny? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 18, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169 "2011-03-18T16:39:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/121 "2011-03-24T14:16:47Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > I once knew a guy who regularly referred to “paying the wife tax,” by which he meant spending time with his wife. I tried hard to avoid his company. Ew. I find that very offputting. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/122 "2011-03-24T15:01:04Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > “Practical jokes” in general: hidden camera, those first thing in the morning prank calls… I can think of _one_ instance in which I found a practical-joke type prank _hilarious_. It was a TV show, maybe _Candid Camera_, maybe just one of its copy-cats. Anyway, the setup was that a celebrity would check into a nice room of a nice hotel, and the clerk who showed them to their room would start listing off the stuff that didn’t work, to see how long it would take the celebrity to lose their cool, before being told “Hey! It’s a joke! Get it? Gotcha Ya!” Yeah, not funny. _Until_ they got to Fred Rogers (of Mr. Rogers fame). He was shown to his room, and the conversation went a little like this: Clerk: Oh, by the way, I’m very sorry, but we’re having electrical problems right now; the bedside lamp doesn’t work" Rogers: “Oh, that’s all right. If I want to read I’ll just sit over there and read” C: “And we’re having trouble with our TV reception; you won’t be able to get all the channels” R: “That’s fine. I don’t watch that much TV anyway” C: “Well, actually, I think _this particular TV_ might not work at all” R: “No problem. I’ve brought my books” On and on it went, with Mr. Rogers simply _not getting ruffled_, and it was freaking hilarious to watch the other guy go through more and more contortions trying to get his goat and failing epically! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/123 "2011-03-24T15:20:53Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Ew. I find that very offputting. Yeah, me too. When I was a kid, we used to get “Andy Capp” in the local paper’s comics page. I wondered what anybody ever found funny about it–if the guy hated his wife so much, why did he stay married to her? I figured I’d get it when I got older–but it only became more offensive. Oh, I thought of another one (two) things that I don’t find funny: 1. 90% of baby antics (particularly when they cover themselves with food). Occasionally babies are funny to me, but it’s pretty rare. 2. 99.9% of monkey antics (100% of chimp antics). The .1% is for Fred the Orangutan in “Every Which Way But Loose,” who actually did make me laugh a little at the time. I pretty much hate chimps. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/124 "2011-03-24T15:35:25Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > On and on it went, with Mr. Rogers simply _not getting ruffled_, and it was freaking hilarious to watch the other guy go through more and more contortions trying to get his goat and failing epically! 😛 That story would have been so much better if Fred had gone up one side of him and down the other. I can just see it … “Okay, listen up and listen good, junior;, you’d best get me a working mini-bar up here el-fucking pronto! Mr. Rogers needs his gin and tonic. You got that flunkie? Chop chop. Yeah, yeah, I’m glad you liked the sweaters, not get your ass in gear!” ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/125 "2011-03-24T15:39:41Z")
I wouldn’t have been surprised to see Mr. Rogers rewire the lamp. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/126 "2011-03-24T15:41:13Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > That story would have been so much better if Fred had gone up one side of him and down the other. > > I can just see it … “Okay, listen up and listen good, junior;, you’d best get me a working mini-bar up here el-fucking pronto! Mr. Rogers needs his gin and tonic. You got that flunkie? Chop chop. Yeah, yeah, I’m glad you liked the sweaters, not get your ass in gear!” “Can you say ‘fix the damn things or your tip is history?’ I knew you could.” ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/127 "2011-03-24T16:04:00Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > I once knew a guy who regularly referred to “paying the wife tax,” by which he meant spending time with his wife. I tried hard to avoid his company. Ugh, yes, exactly that kind of humor. It’s really the only kind that bothers me, other than bigoted jokes (and even those can be funny based on the context and the person telling them). But I have NEVER seen the humor in jokes where the premise is “being married sucks” or “you know how women are, am I right?” On a related note, I hate that so, so, so many greeting cards meant for wives play off the “without my wife I’d just be a dumb slob who can’t do anything right because I’m a lazy moron” trope. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/128 "2011-03-24T16:05:35Z")
I saw a particularly hideous episode of one of those hidden camera shows (this one had Ashton Kucher) where he brought some young actress into a fake store that sold grossly overpriced glass and china art (the archetypal “priceless vase” sort of stuff.) The gimmick was supposed to involve people concealed under the counters who would reach up through convenient holes beneath the glassware and tip it off the shelf after she’d handled it or looked at it, making her think she was responsible for breaking it. Unfortunately for the show’s direction, after she set down the first vase they’d badgered her into picking up, she turned around just as the visible human hand popped up and knocked it off the shelf. So when they tried the “Oh my GOD, you broke it!” shtick on her, she understandably got annoyed, saying “a _hand_ came out of that hole.” But, even though the jig was up, the whole cast stupidly persisted in trying to persuade her she’d imagined it and that she’d have to pay some huge sum for the breakage. She astutely summed it up by saying “this whole thing is stupid.” The whole episode was embarrassing – if someone cues into your prank before it takes effect, just go get someone else and try again or something, Their pitiful badgering of her just made the rest of the cast look like they had some kind of mental problem…not a funny one, either. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/129 "2011-03-24T16:24:02Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > I can think of _one_ instance in which I found a practical-joke type prank _hilarious_. It was a TV show, maybe _Candid Camera_, maybe just one of its copy-cats. Anyway, the setup was that a celebrity would check into a nice room of a nice hotel, and the clerk who showed them to their room would start listing off the stuff that didn’t work, to see how long it would take the celebrity to lose their cool, before being told “Hey! It’s a joke! Get it? Gotcha Ya!” Yeah, not funny. _Until_ they got to Fred Rogers (of Mr. Rogers fame). He was shown to his room, and the conversation went a little like this: > Clerk: Oh, by the way, I’m very sorry, but we’re having electrical problems right now; the bedside lamp doesn’t work" > Rogers: “Oh, that’s all right. If I want to read I’ll just sit over there and read” > C: “And we’re having trouble with our TV reception; you won’t be able to get all the channels” > R: “That’s fine. I don’t watch that much TV anyway” > C: “Well, actually, I think _this particular TV_ might not work at all” > R: “No problem. I’ve brought my books” > > On and on it went, with Mr. Rogers simply _not getting ruffled_, and it was freaking hilarious to watch the other guy go through more and more contortions trying to get his goat and failing epically! 😛 Mr. Rogers: That’s OK. I’m visiting friends in the Neighborhood of Make Believe tonight. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/130 "2011-03-24T20:21:45Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Dead baby jokes - sorry, I know a lot of people find it hilarious but I can’t say I’m one of them. this is mine too. i’m not even quite sure why, because i do find most shock humor funny(with my current group of friends, you kind of have to have a thick skin). it doesn’t offend me, exactly. i just don’t find it funny. ---
**Author:** ![DeepLiquid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deepliquid/32/14893_2.png) [@DeepLiquid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeepLiquid)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/131 "2011-03-24T20:48:40Z")
> [@SpartanDC](#): > > Ugh, yes, exactly that kind of humor. It’s really the only kind that bothers me, other than bigoted jokes (and even those can be funny based on the context and the person telling them). > > But I have NEVER seen the humor in jokes where the premise is “being married sucks” or “you know how women are, am I right?” On a related note, I hate that so, so, so many greeting cards meant for wives play off the “without my wife I’d just be a dumb slob who can’t do anything right because I’m a lazy moron” trope. Whenever the topic of gay marriage comes up on another forum I frequent, the inevitable \*\*“heh, heh, I think you all should be able to get married… so you can be as miserable as the rest of us, heh, heh” \*\*jokes start. I don’t get it, if they’re so miserable, why do they stay married, it’s not compulsory?? ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/132 "2011-03-24T22:03:14Z")
> [@JimmyFlair](#): > > For some reason people seem to think it’s Hilaaariouuuuus to joke about kicking small dogs like footballs, for example. You see, they’re really tough, so only the pit-bulliest or rotweillerest dog will do. Any dog that’s less than 20 lbs is only a yappy little terror who needs to be kicked into the next time zone ASAP. > > As the owner of the world’s most awesome Chihuahua, I have a bit of an issue with this. I’ve actually had people come up to us while walking and go "hehe! I call dogs like that a “punt-a-puppy!” har har har! WTF?😕 Yeh, I used to own pugs and got that a bit, too. Another illustration of dog-hurting which is supposed to be funny: that scene in _A Fish Called Wanda_ where an old woman’s Yorkies are crushed to death. It’s funny, don’tcha know. Because they’re yappy and they deserved it! Didn’t anyone notice that the yapping had to be dubbed in because the dogs were not in fact yappy? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/133 "2011-03-24T22:14:28Z")
Monty Python. I cannot understand how people find it funny and I doubt I ever will. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/134 "2011-03-24T22:18:33Z")
The Three Stooges ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/135 "2011-03-24T22:26:26Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > Another illustration of dog-hurting which is supposed to be funny: that scene in _A Fish Called Wanda_ where an old woman’s Yorkies are crushed to death. It’s funny, don’tcha know. Because they’re yappy and they deserved it! Didn’t anyone notice that the yapping had to be dubbed in because the dogs were not in fact yappy? I didn’t see that movie, but I do remember an episode of \*Hill Street Blues \*that I won’t watch because of a “funny” gag involving a very fat guy in the station house sitting on a tiny orange kitten someone had left in a box on a chair. I can’t even begin to understand how anybody would think that was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/136 "2011-03-24T23:03:34Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Well, have you browsed YouTube? One example that sticks out to me is the “squirrel catapult” videos where people bait a squirrel into climbing onto some sort of slingshot which launches it high into the air off-camera. \ Squirrels are nuts - they probably enjoy it. (Just kidding! I do not endorse flinging squirrels!) ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/137 "2011-03-24T23:26:15Z")
> [@Chapulin](#): > > Jackass movies are so stupid. I agree. Could not sit through the entirety of the first movie, have made it a point to avoid any follow ups. But this clip had me clutching the carpet loops. (oh come on, you gotta admit this is funny) [golf course air horn](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHBTRmstGus&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/138 "2011-03-24T23:50:08Z")
I like the squirrel launchers. They could be funnier if they landed on a passing ladies head though. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/139 "2011-03-25T01:45:27Z")
> [@Apollyon](#): > > 😛 Possible, but not likely: non-American, never been to NY (only visit to the US east coast was to Boston) – but would like to go there one day, don’t really know anything good or bad about NY beyond movies and TV. > > My “New York Neurotic” label for certain comedies with elements I find squirm-inducing just came from several of them being set in NY. Seinfeld (worst offender), Mad About You, Friends (sometimes), and Will & Grace being notable examples. > > Amusingly they were probably all shot in LA. 🙂 Still, most accurately communicate the edge New York culture has over the rest of the world: its readiness to embrace negativity and use it to create energy, humor, creativity, competitiveness and a high level of cultural relevance. Many people begrudge New York its primacy because it is such a negative place. In my way of thinking, that negativity is the _source_ of its positive energy. ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/140 "2011-03-25T03:32:05Z")
Puns are bad enough, but they hit their nadir of badness when these elaborate and tedious constructions are trotted out, examples: 1. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.” 2. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later,Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.” 3. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good. . .) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169.md?page=8)