# What do you never find funny? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 18, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169 "2011-03-18T16:39:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/141 "2011-03-25T03:41:39Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > Another illustration of dog-hurting which is supposed to be funny: that scene in _A Fish Called Wanda_ where an old woman’s Yorkies are crushed to death. It’s funny, don’tcha know. Because they’re yappy and they deserved it! Didn’t anyone notice that the yapping had to be dubbed in because the dogs were not in fact yappy? My God… and to think I actually _laughed_ at the simulated death of trained movie dogs that didn’t even deserve to be pretend-killed! ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/142 "2011-03-25T06:58:06Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > I really really detest Family Guy for the repeated jokes and put downs at Meg’s expense. For me it is getting so bad I usually leave the room when its on. Yeah, what the hell did she do to deserve all the abuse she gets? I don’t watch the show often, so I’m not sure why everyone hates her so much. I don’t like most bathroom humor, racist jokes (for example the old “me Chinese, me play joke” joke), humor that involves hurting kids or animals, or “cringe” humor. I don’t know if that includes jokes that involve humiliating other people. I guess it’s because I was often the butt of those jokes as a kid. I also hate inside jokes being repeated in front of outsiders without explanation - to this day I have no idea what a Buford is, only that the popular girls in my school called each other that in front of me. Add me to the list of practical joke haters. I don’t like surprises. I much prefer knowing what to expect. I got the fake lottery ticket a few months ago - from my own daughter! My mom had bought her some, and they looked pretty realistic. I scratched it off and got so excited when I thought I won, that I started to cry when I looked it over and realized it was fake. My daughter and my mom both apologized to me afterward. I wouldn’t have taken it so badly, but I was on disability at the time and really could have used the money, had it been real. :o ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/143 "2011-03-25T06:58:19Z")
> [@K364](#): > > Puns are bad enough, but they hit their nadir of badness when these elaborate and tedious constructions are trotted out, examples: > > 1. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.” > > 2. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later,Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.” > > 3. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good. . .) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Confession time: I _love_ puns like these! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ColdPhoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@ColdPhoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColdPhoenix)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/144 "2011-03-25T09:32:11Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > … that’s supposed to come off … That’s what \*she \*said!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![phantom\_lamb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@phantom\_lamb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phantom_lamb)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/145 "2011-03-25T13:01:51Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > however, i have never found parody songs to be any good. The fact that Weird Al even has a career baffles me, much less the morning zoo shock jocks and their… lesser imitations. This, for me. I have never even cracked a smile at any song parody or supposedly “funny” song. Hate, hate, hate funny music. Worst thing is my cousin loves parodies and forces me to listen to any _hilarious_ ones he comes across and I usually have to sit through the whole thing and pretend it’s mildly amusing. ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/146 "2011-03-25T18:56:50Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Deliberately offensive humor, especially if the comedian seems to be gloating over how cutting edge they are for being offensive. There’s a difference between saying something funny that might offend people and making a joke for the sole purpose of being offensive. Well put. I recently had to revoke the posting privileges of an acquaintance who apparently didn’t understand that posting a tsunami “joke” in the Facebook Event page of the Japan Earthquake/Asia-Pacific Tsunami fundraiser in which I’m performing was a dick move of epic proportions. “Roofie” jokes, because I end up feeling like a humourless killjoy every time I say ‘that’s not funny’. Then people uncomfortably look at me wondering if I’ve been raped; I look back at them uncomfortably wondering, “is that the only reason you’d think a woman wouldn’t laugh about drugged drinks?” Oh, and add me to the “vomit” list and we’re good. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/147 "2011-03-25T19:32:41Z")
> [@Lucky\_13](#): > > Add me to the list of practical joke haters. I don’t like surprises. I much prefer knowing what to expect. I got the fake lottery ticket a few months ago - from my own daughter! My mom had bought her some, and they looked pretty realistic. I scratched it off and got so excited when I thought I won, that I started to cry when I looked it over and realized it was fake. My daughter and my mom both apologized to me afterward. I wouldn’t have taken it so badly, but I was on disability at the time and really could have used the money, had it been real. That is just so shitty I feel bad for you. The only time those could work is if you could take it or leave it. A very very few practical jokes are funny and they depend on being fairly mild and on bringing the other person into the joke once they find out. 99% of them I don’t like. I also hate any vomit jokes. I can just about deal with it if the vomit is happening off screen, but if I have to watch it, I look away. I love song parodies, though, if they are good ones. :o ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/148 "2011-03-25T19:54:13Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > That is just so shitty I feel bad for you. The only time those could work is if you could take it or leave it.\ Me too. I recall once a long time ago when I was about as broke as broke can be, and I found what I thought was a 20 dollar bill on the sidewalk (that would have been about two weeks’ groceries at that time). It turned out to be some jackass’ advertising scheme - I felt broke that morning, and I felt broke and miserable after that. I’ve never forgotten that feeling, and I’d never do that to someone else on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/149 "2011-03-25T21:09:00Z")
Did you hear the one about the half jewish half chinese dead baby with a speech impediment that farted after she was locked in her room after her mom humiliated her? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/150 "2011-03-25T23:08:25Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Me too. I recall once a long time ago when I was about as broke as broke can be, and I found what I thought was a 20 dollar bill on the sidewalk (that would have been about two weeks’ groceries at that time). It turned out to be some jackass’ advertising scheme - I felt broke that morning, and I felt broke and miserable after that. I’ve never forgotten that feeling, and I’d never do that to someone else on purpose. That sucks. Maybe one of the little things (and I do mean ‘little’) I do helps to karmically balance that kind of bullshit: sometimes when I’m out and about, I’ll just randomly drop a dollar bill in a parking lot or on a sidewalk. I know it’s just a buck, but I like to think that whoever finds it will feel lucky all day. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/151 "2011-03-25T23:48:49Z")
“Sarcasm and puns are the lowest form of humor” - people who suck at sarcasm and puns ---
**Author:** ![scamartistry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@scamartistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scamartistry)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/152 "2011-03-26T03:28:38Z")
I don’t like jokes about Peanuts Black lesbians NOT funny ---
**Author:** ![NetTrekker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nettrekker/32/2909_2.png) [@NetTrekker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NetTrekker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/153 "2011-03-26T03:56:41Z")
South Park. Wait, what was the topic? Oh yeah, it was “What do you never find funny” OK, I was right…South Park. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/154 "2011-03-26T20:59:24Z")
I’m still wondering why everybody hates Meg Griffin so much. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/155 "2011-03-27T01:43:30Z")
If you want to find the thing I laugh at least, I will say 'Samurai Warrior." Not only is it unfunny to start with, it goes on at Homeric length, making me hate John Belushi’s entire career. Every one of his moments that were funny are marred by the image burned into my brain of his SW. Also, jocks dressed as women…alright, when I was in first grade, I kind of laughed at it. By the time I hit second grade, it was totally beneath me. Hmmm…I don’t have anything against cruel jokes, but I hate practical jokes because the entire foundation of a practical joke is to be cruel to the person. Lawyer jokes don’t seem at all funny to me…don’t know why. That’s it for now. Oh, btw, the Jackass airhorn video had me rolling. Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Troutsqueezer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Troutsqueezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troutsqueezer)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/156 "2011-03-27T02:44:31Z")
I don’t like any of the talk show host jokes. You can tell these come out of a joke mill in the back room where they are desperate to think of something funny to say about the day’s events and the people involved. Just because it’s timely doesn’t make it funny. Funny jokes are usually vetted from experimentation in a number of venues and made a part of the act because people actually laughed at them instead of laughing on cue. I like Jay Leno, Conan and Jimmy Fallon’s personalities, I just don’t like their prepared jokes. And Bill Mahr, how can he even classify himself as a comedian? He’s got the lamest jokes of anyone in the history of showbiz. I really don’t know what he is, except for a moron. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/157 "2011-03-27T15:52:42Z")
> [@vinniepaz](#): > > And the worst part is when they are followed with that green laughing smiley. Makes my skin crawl. I have no idea why. Back ten years ago, when the board was young, the : D smiley was a big-smile yellow smiley and I used to use it a lot. Then they changed to the poison-green buck-toothed smiley, and all my old posts were using it instead of the one I had intended. I’m still bitter. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/158 "2011-03-27T16:23:28Z")
> [@Lucky\_13](#): > > I’m still wondering why everybody hates Meg Griffin so much. Nobody hates Meg. They hate her pink beanie. And what it sits on. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/159 "2011-03-27T17:35:31Z")
> [@Troutsqueezer](#): > > . And Bill Mahr, how can he even classify himself as a comedian? He’s got the lamest jokes of anyone in the history of showbiz. I really don’t know what he is, except for a moron. I like to think of him as an angry, arrogant, condescending, crappy political analyst/hack pretending to be a crappy comedian. That way if someone attacks him on his humor, its about the politics. If someone says his politics are all retarded, its about the humor. A win win (except for everyone else). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169/160 "2011-03-27T18:14:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I agree on the marriage jokes. If marriage is such a trap, then get divorced, it’s allowed nowadays. For a while here on the Dope there was a whole bunch of men who referred to their wives as “SWMBO” - she who must be obeyed. That smacks of so much…ick that I finally said something about it. Really? Your marriage is that one-sided? You think it’s funny to joke about that? > [@Queen](#): > > Whenever the topic of gay marriage comes up on another forum I frequent, the inevitable \*\*“heh, heh, I think you all should be able to get married… so you can be as miserable as the rest of us, heh, heh” \*\*jokes start. I don’t get it, if they’re so miserable, why do they stay married, it’s not compulsory?? I didn’t want to single anyone out because I don’t think it’s intentionally meant to be offensive, but yes, I find it very offensive. If my husband referred to me as SWMBO I would be extremely offended. We tease each other about a lot of things, but one of those things is not what a burden relationships are. It used to piss me off so much when his friends would tease him about being pussy-whipped, because I really could have cared less if he wanted to go out with his friends. He just wasn’t into what they were doing. Not my fault. Stop blaming me. I’m not even singling out guys here, either. A very well-educated, intelligent, successful friend of mine recently posted an article written by a woman who was essentially saying, ‘‘People are telling me I should remarry, but what’s so great about marriage anyway? Men have to be fed, and clothed, and pampered. Who needs that?’’ You don’t want to get married again? Fine. But stop assuming your shitty marriage is some kind of Universal Law. I spoke up to my friend because ‘‘Hey, did it ever occur to you that the person you end up with is a CHOICE YOU MAKE?’’ My friend acknowledged my point but basically said I’m just a part of a lucky minority. I’m not claiming luck had NOTHING to do with it, but maybe, just maybe, I ended up in a good marriage because I made healthy, rational choices and refused to compromise my principles? I didn’t marry a guy who can’t wipe his own ass and holds me responsible for the state of his friendships. Ya think? I honestly think this is the ONLY kind of humor that I find consistently unfunny. > [@Lucky\_13](#): > > Yeah, what the hell did she do to deserve all the abuse she gets? I don’t watch the show often, so I’m not sure why everyone hates her so much. Everyone hates her for no reason whatsoever. To me it highlights the sheer ridiculousness of dumping on someone for no reason (which happens a lot, actually.) I think it’s pretty funny, in an uncomfortable sort of way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-never-find-funny/575169.md?page=9)