# What Do You Say To A Ghost? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804 "2010-05-09T08:14:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hellpaso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@hellpaso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hellpaso)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/21 "2010-05-10T00:53:48Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Sage advice. New Agers believe that if you tell an unwanted spirit to leave, it _must_ leave. > > Of course, the same advice is given to schizophrenics dealing with unwanted hallucinations…just sayin’. Wow! You’re so smart!! Can I be your friend?😉 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/22 "2010-05-10T01:19:56Z")
It depends on whether or not it tried to communicate with me. If it didn’t, I’d probably just flinch and go on with life perhaps a bit more sure that residual ghosts were real. If it tried to talk to me, I’d have to appologize for not believing that sort of ghost was real. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/23 "2010-05-10T01:32:11Z")
“Dude, you wanna take a hit on this?, It is some good shit” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/24 "2010-05-10T03:35:14Z")
Tell it you ain’t 'fraid of it… (what kind was it, a Negative, nonfocused repeating phantasm, Class Five Full Roaming Vapour?) ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/25 "2010-05-10T03:41:40Z")
“Why, I will see thee at Philippi, then.” ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/26 "2010-05-10T04:06:18Z")
Find out the ghost’s name and age so you can count it on your census form. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/27 "2010-05-10T04:23:48Z")
I’d rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/28 "2010-05-10T04:48:07Z")
“Nice to see ya, wouldn’t wanna to be ya!” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/29 "2010-05-10T05:08:51Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Guess it depends on the situation; Amy Bruni on the show Ghost Hunters once came up with a gem: while investigating a stable where a spectral horse was supposedly sighted, she famously attempted to elicit a response by asking, “Are you a horse?” and that was quickly followed up by co-investigator Dave Tango asking, “Do you _look_ like a horse?” > > That was one of the greatest moments in the history of reality TV. I don’t get it–is it funny because horses can’t talk? I figure if it’s a ghost all bets are off as to its speaking capabilities. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/30 "2010-05-10T07:19:54Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Well done: 😃 you are a scholar and a gentleman (if gent you be) Aw, thank you, but my example is somewhat negated by the fact that in that story, the ghost was real. I know he is, for he lives in these very forums! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/31 "2010-05-10T08:06:54Z")
“Let me hold tree fitty…”. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/32 "2010-05-10T11:59:51Z")
If the ghost asks you if you’re a god say yes. Trust me on this one. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/33 "2010-05-10T13:04:56Z")
If it was a lady ghost, I’d ask to see her boo-bies. Serious answer, I’d ask who they are…or were…or whatever. If I got an answer, at least later I could do some research or something. If it were going to be a lengthier conversation, I’d ask what they want, where they think they are (time, place, etc). Then I might inquire about all my missing socks. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/34 "2010-05-10T14:04:56Z")
“So did Hoffa happen to mention to you what really happened?” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/35 "2010-05-11T01:06:45Z")
“Please don’t slime me!” ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/36 "2010-05-11T02:06:02Z")
Ghosts I see on TV and in the movies seem to be able to see all and know all from “up there”. Allison’s dead father in law on Medium pops up every so often just to piss her off, but he seems to know important things he wants to share. So I would ask a ghost something practical, like what horse will win what race next week at the track. Or if I should take that plane trip to California next month. if they don’t want to cooperate, tell them to take a f’ing hike into the light. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/37 "2010-05-11T04:02:35Z")
No, thanks. I had one earlier. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/38 "2010-05-11T08:40:37Z")
In the words of the old pioneers, you were supposed to make a cross sign and yell " In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, what do you want?" If what you saw was a demon it would go straight back to Hell. If it was a ghost it was supposed to tell you about the buried treasure hidden nearby and which you would spend the rest of your life fruitlessly trying to locate. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/39 "2010-05-11T08:48:13Z")
You could also start reading the Bible to the ghost, though if you read from Song of Soloman things might get interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-say-to-a-ghost/538804/40 "2010-05-11T09:53:33Z")
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