# What do you suck at? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723 "2004-06-22T23:47:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/1 "2004-06-22T23:47:28Z")
I suck at analogies. I gave one today in the Cel (sic) šŸ˜ƒ phone thread that was totally flawed. I donā€™t even know why I attempt them. Iā€™m also the worst singer in the Universe. Have to mouth the words to ā€œHappy Birthdayā€ because people automatically get flustered if I chime in with my off-key self. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/2 "2004-06-22T23:56:34Z")
The first thing that leaps to mind is my total inability to sing. I was asked to leave a church choir. I believe that says it all. I have no sense of direction. Donā€™t ever ask me where we are. I will not know the answer. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/3 "2004-06-23T00:01:26Z")
Building stuff. Iā€™m okay at assembling prefab bookshelves, desks, etc, but my attempts to build from scratch make Homer Simpson look like Norm Abram! ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/4 "2004-06-23T00:06:03Z")
The Spider totally sucketh at math, oh aye. That olā€™ dragon shall not be slain by me, not in my lifetime. :smack: I donā€™t like algebra and such. I can do basic math but you throw in Xā€™s and Yā€™s and I get all flustered. Now, my father and brother can do math like nobodyā€™s business and itā€™s not fair. My brotherā€™s not using his math ability and I swear upon his life (tee hee) that if I had it, Iā€™d have done the college thing. I really would haveā€¦ promise. I also suck at cooking. I hate to cook, did NOT have a good role model in the kitchen. My mom hates to cook and never did anything harder than prepare boxed foods. Iā€™ve entertained the idea of taking a cooking class one of these days because I feel like I should learn how to cook real food, real meals. I do enjoy baking pumpkin pie but if you reread the first part of this sentence you may notice that the pie is pumpkin and I just frigginā€™ _loooooove_ pumpkin pie. Thereā€™s a BIG benefit to my making my own pumpkin pie. I get to eat it and I know it tastes _gooooooood_! With making a meal (real food not boxed crap), I donā€™t know how it may taste. No benefit for sure, possible trip to the garbage or perhaps a handy, hungry doggie to deal with the smoking remains of my attempts. I used to be terrified of the stove/oven when I was a child. Thought it was just laying in wait to scorch me. Think that had to do with some guy selling smoke detectors and his speech on kitchen safety. I also thought the sound of my dadā€™s alarm clock was the wires in the wall getting ready to explode. That was definately due to the same guy showing slides of burned houses on the wall (I was 4-5 at the time) but I digress. Cooking is not my thing but I _do_ do windows. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/5 "2004-06-23T00:10:42Z")
same as Mr. Blue sky; I am great at assembling something, but I am NOT a handyman, by any stretch of the imagination. Also dancing. Gah. I have no knack for ice skating, roller skating, or bicycling. Iā€™m not too good at starting or holding a conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/6 "2004-06-23T00:34:59Z")
Lying, or rather dissembling. If you ask me point-blank what I think about something, Iā€™ll tell you. Examples: ā€œI hated that album.ā€ - ā€œI think that politician is a lying sack of shit.ā€ - ā€œI think \ is a work of genius.ā€ Now, I may be polite about it (ā€œ_Sorry_, but I thought that movie was badā€), but my opinion will not be in doubt. I am constitutionally incapable of maintaining a position contrary to my actual view just to be social. For example: I donā€™t talk about the fact that Iā€™m an atheist except with my wife and on these boards, but a few days ago my boss ā€œoutedā€ me by asking me directly whether or not I believed in God in a meeting. Even as the big red flag went up in my mind, I heard the word ā€œnoā€ coming out of my mouth. My very-Christian co-worker was rather shocked, to say the least. I should have wiggled out with a vague non-response, but I canā€™t do that. I just canā€™t. So I would suck at any job that required me to say other than what I thought. Politics, for example. Iā€™m very interested in politics, but I believe in responding to a direct question with a direct and truthful answer (including, when appropriate, ā€œI donā€™t knowā€), and Iā€™d make a horrible politician for that reason. I know people _say_ they want honest politicians, but they keep on refusing to elect candidates who actually make clear statements and assert unambiguous positions on issues, so itā€™s pretty clear what voters really want. And it ainā€™t me. ---
**Author:** ![Grasshopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Grasshopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grasshopper)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/7 "2004-06-23T00:43:12Z")
I am very bad at being assertive, and I donā€™t have a lot of leadership skills. Iā€™m also terrible at cooking. Iā€™ve never cooked meat in my life, not because Iā€™m a vegetarian but because Iā€™m convinced Iā€™d give everyone food poisoning. And I totally blow at chemistry. Biology Iā€™m okay with, physics I like, chemistry - run for the hills! When I took chemistry four years ago, I broke two beakers during the first lab because I was so nervous. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/8 "2004-06-23T00:45:55Z")
None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. It baffles me how people can effortlessly reel off stuff like, ā€œOh, thatā€™s on the northwestā€¦ā€ etc. Their brains can do something mine just plain wonā€™t. And Iā€™ve tried, hard, to learn. No lie, I can make myself physically dizzy trying to figure it out, even at home. I have to start from a known landmark and mentally trace a map from there. Here at home the Mississippi River runs from east to west, so I start at the river and if somethingā€™s upstream itā€™s east, if somethingā€™s toward Iowa thatā€™s northā€¦ I just tried to figure out what direction my house faces. Iā€™ve lived here _16 years_ and I still had to think, okay the riverā€™s on the left so Iā€™m facingā€¦ ā€¦ ā€¦ ā€¦ east. My brain isnā€™t wired right somehow. Veb ---
**Author:** ![flickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7bcc69/32.png) [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/9 "2004-06-23T00:48:13Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > same as Mr. Blue sky; I am great at assembling something, but I am NOT a handyman, by any stretch of the imagination. > > Also dancing. Gah. > > I have no knack for ice skating, roller skating, or bicycling. > > Iā€™m not too good at starting or holding a conversation. Very much the same. Itā€™s funny, I spent countless years hauling sons to ice arenas, watching youth hockey games and even managing the travel team but Iā€™ve never had a pair of ice skates on. Iā€™m not much on the bicycle either. Biggest personal suck skill though would have to be **confrontation**. Itā€™s not that I donā€™t have my values, I just prefer to find another way around ppl who are intent on being assholes. Iā€™m just a guy who can usually find something to be happy about in any situation. Donā€™t like to waste my time on dealing with negatives. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/10 "2004-06-23T00:48:19Z")
I totally suck at typing. I have been using a computer for years, but I still have to look at the keyboard. I still make many, many typos. It takes me a long time to type out even a short post. I spend hours typing even short papers for school. Iā€™ve tried Mavis Beacon, it didnā€™t help. I donā€™t know how I can spend hours doing something and never improve! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/11 "2004-06-23T00:57:39Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. > It baffles me how people can effortlessly reel off stuff like, ā€œOh, thatā€™s on the northwestā€¦ā€ etc. Their brains can do something mine just plain wonā€™t. And Iā€™ve tried, hard, to learn. > No lie, I can make myself physically dizzy trying to figure it out, even at home. I have to start from a known landmark and mentally trace a map from there. Here at home the Mississippi River runs from east to west, so I start at the river and if somethingā€™s upstream itā€™s east, if somethingā€™s toward Iowa thatā€™s northā€¦ > > I just tried to figure out what direction my house faces. Iā€™ve lived here _16 years_ and I still had to think, okay the riverā€™s on the left so Iā€™m facingā€¦ > ā€¦ > ā€¦ > ā€¦ > east. > > My brain isnā€™t wired right somehow. > > Veb My beloved is the same way. We call it _directional dyslexia_. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/12 "2004-06-23T00:58:37Z")
Iā€™m waiting for some smartass to say ā€˜fellatioā€™. :eek: šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/13 "2004-06-23T01:04:34Z")
I cannot sew a button on to save my life. It amazes me that even now, enlightened times and all that, people still express shocked surprise that I, a bona fide ovary owner, canā€™t sew. You canā€™t even fix a dropped hem? No, is that sewing, I canā€™t sew. But, surely, you can whip a simple blah de blah mathingy stitch and make your own drapes, itā€™s sooooo easy! No, I donā€™t sew. I donā€™t know how, never learned, have no interest in acquiring the knowledge now, tyvm. I once waitressed midnights at a Dennyā€™s by my local airport, pretty fun job and a great bunch of coworkers. During one incredibly busy bar rush, I somehow caught a pocket of my slacks on one of those little circlet thingies that stick out of the side of a booth that you can attach a rope to close off a section. Not realizing Iā€™d caught myself, I kept going another step and the pocket didnā€™t, causing a major wardrobe malfunction. Iā€™ve got my arms loaded with a table of fourā€™s drunken grease extravaganza, and my pants are now ripped straight down the seam and slowly going south as I stand there with a dumbass deerintheheadlights look. Luckily, someone took pity and grabbed the plates from me, allowing me to snatch my pants back up and hobbledy jog into the back. I grabbed a stapler, secured the seam, and continued working, what else could I do? Somehow, I never lived that down, coworkers found it screamingly funny that I didnā€™t have a wee sewing kit handy in my purse and stapled my clothes on instead. Seriously? Women under fifty carry sewing kits?! ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/14 "2004-06-23T01:08:10Z")
> [@Cub Mistress](#): > > The first thing that leaps to mind is my total inability to sing. I was asked to leave a church choir. I believe that says it all. Iā€™d be remiss if I didnā€™t just do a giant OWW. Thatā€™s harsh.\* \*but I was laughing reading your post; sorry ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/15 "2004-06-23T01:10:42Z")
> [@Cub Mistress](#): > > The first thing that leaps to mind is my total inability to sing. I was asked to leave a church choir. I believe that says it all. Now you know how Barney Fife felt. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/16 "2004-06-23T01:21:15Z")
I am a horrible athlete. The only sport I have some talent in is basketball, and Iā€™m too short to make a good basketball player. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/17 "2004-06-23T01:54:17Z")
I, too, have directional dyslexia. I donā€™t know which direction my house faces. I know that Chattanooga is east and Memphis is west, Birmingham is south and Lexington is North. If Iā€™m on the interstate I can figure out which way Iā€™m headed because of that. Other than that Iā€™m lost. I can follow a map or directions, but I have no intuitive knowledge of location. StG ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/18 "2004-06-23T02:07:22Z")
I also suck at having a sense of direction. Itā€™s bad. If I go to an unfamiliar restaurant and go to the bathroom, my family/friends know to come find me if Iā€™m not back in 10 minutes. I will get lost trying to find my way back to the table. If I exit a parking lot a different way than I came in, it takes me a good while to figure out which direction Iā€™m facing. Tucson (city limits) is pretty easy to get to learn N, S, E, and W, but get me out into the country and Iā€™m screwed. Itā€™s a big running joke in my family how often I get lost, but really it afflicts all the other women in my family too. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/19 "2004-06-23T02:14:29Z")
Iā€™m not very good at any task requiring hand/eye co-ordination. So Iā€™m not a very good driver and Iā€™ve never managed to learn how to handle a manual car. Ball games are a bit of a disaster too. I was always pretty hopeless at cricket and rugby at school. ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723/20 "2004-06-23T02:21:46Z")
I cannot carry a tune to save my lifeā€“Iā€™m a horrible singer. Kills me, because I love music, love dancingā€¦ and I make dogs howl with my voice. Basic math I have no problem with, but put an algebra equation in front of me and watch me crumble. > [@](#): > > **vunderbob:** Iā€™m waiting for some smartass to say ā€˜fellatioā€™. Oh, how Iā€™m tempted. šŸ˜ƒ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-suck-at/251723.md?page=2)