# What do you think about recording sex sessions? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602 "2011-01-14T15:13:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/101 "2011-01-16T04:02:24Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > You are actually trying to equate rape and videotaping? Equate? No. But do you honestly believe that surreptitiously taping a person in what they believe to be a private and intimate situation is NOT an egregious violation of trust? > [@Zany Zeolite Zipper](#): > > What I’m hearing is: “I can no longer defend my position with words that have more than four letters. Mods, can we please go some place where decibels substitute for argument”? My position requires no defense, it’s called decency. You haven’t understood anything else I’ve said either, so I’ll do my best to clarify this. I wish to go to the Pit so that I may tell you exactly what I think of you as a human being. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/102 "2011-01-16T04:29:38Z")
Of course, it occurs to me that I don’t have to wait for this to be moved to the [Pit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=593243). Zany and Der Trihs, consider yourselves cordially invited. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/103 "2011-01-16T04:29:52Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Mods, can we go to the Pit now? You may go to The Pit if you wish-nobody is stopping you. ---
**Author:** ![flickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7bcc69/32.png) [@flickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickster)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/104 "2011-01-16T04:58:55Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Me thinks trying to convince a judge that you had the camera pointed towards the bed instead of the window or door because _that’s_ where you think intruders will enter the room will cause laughter in the courtroom. But, security cameras aren’t usually focused that closely, more of a wide angle lens shot. If the security camera just happens to pick up random activity. For that matter, who says the sessions have to be in the bedroom? If there are multiple cameras in the house (as stated in the OP), could be taking place anywhere. However, if the security camera is focused only on the bed, then that’s as squicky as others have mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/105 "2011-01-16T05:13:10Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > But do you honestly believe that surreptitiously taping a person in what they believe to be a private and intimate situation is NOT an egregious violation of trust? The kind of trust you are pushing for is a synonym for “stupidity”. Should I hand her the password for my bank account too? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/106 "2011-01-16T05:28:19Z")
More bullshit. No, you shouldn’t hand her your PIN. You also shouldn’t expect her to search through your wallet for it while you’re in the shower, which is more akin to videotaping her without her knowledge. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/107 "2011-01-16T06:11:09Z")
Someone who would tape another person having sex with them without informing the other person is sleazy and without morals. If one has a legitimate fear of being slapped with a false accusation of rape, then one should reassess the type of person they are attempting to fuck. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/108 "2011-01-16T06:19:25Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If one has a legitimate fear of being slapped with a false accusation of rape, then one should reassess the type of person they are attempting to fuck. Amen to that, 110%. _“If you don’t trust the pussy, why are you fucking the pussy?”_ – Sam Kinison ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/109 "2011-01-16T06:25:50Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Someone who would tape another person having sex with them without informing the other person is sleazy and without morals. If one has a legitimate fear of being slapped with a false accusation of rape, then one should reassess the type of person they are attempting to fuck. Don’t be silly; the problem is the law and the culture. Men aren’t telepaths and can’t tell if a woman is or is not the sort who will lie about it now, nor are they precognitive and able to tell if she’ll lie about it in a month or a year. No one given the near absolute license to lie is trustworthy. How much trust would you give to someone who had a gun pointed at your face and who you knew could kill you without punishment? Women can ruin men’s lives casually, with minimal effort and with little to no repercussions to themselves. No one can be trusted with that kind of power. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/110 "2011-01-16T06:28:06Z")
The answer here is that sex is not for you. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/111 "2011-01-16T06:38:23Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > The answer here is that sex is not for you. That’ would be the “celibacy” option I already mentioned. But it just underlines my point that women depend on men being irrational about sex and women in our society; if men did the rational thing they’d just avoid going near women, much less having sex with them. And I note that everyone is dancing around trying to avoid giving a workable solution that doesn’t boil down to a man choosing between lifelong celibacy or leaving himself completely vulnerable to a false accusation. Instead we have classic man bashing; accusations of “sleaze” and now the claims that I’m not worthy of sex. And in the Pit thread accusations of homosexuality too; a classic. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/112 "2011-01-16T06:46:46Z")
If you believe that the choice is between honesty and celibacy, then you clearly believe that videotaping is not ‘reasonable’. If you truly believed that it’s reasonable, then there’s no way that you could believe that 50% of humanity would view it as unreasonable. By the way, “I thought Der Trihs was gay.” is not an “accusation” of homosexuality, any more than “I really wish I hadn’t achieved a BAC of 23.8 and had sex with Der Trihs” is an accusation of rape. ---
**Author:** ![Nadir](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nadir/32/7302_2.png) [@Nadir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nadir)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/113 "2011-01-16T06:56:53Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Someone who would tape another person having sex with them without informing the other person is sleazy and without morals. And, contrary to stupidly insisting this inane notion of surreptitious video recording would be used for some imagined legal tussle in a courtroom somewhere, it would in fact be promptly thrown out as evidence as well as inviting another lawsuit on top of the already embarrasing rape charge. In United States constitutional law the expectation of privacy is a legal test which is crucial in defining the scope of the applicability of the privacy protections of the Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Now off to the pit (tee, hee hee)… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/114 "2011-01-16T06:58:30Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > If you believe that the choice is between honesty and celibacy, then you clearly believe that videotaping is not ‘reasonable’. If you truly believed that it’s reasonable, then there’s no way that you could believe that 50% of humanity would view it as unreasonable. That doesn’t follow at all. > [@DianaG](#): > > By the way, “I thought Der Trihs was gay.” is not an “accusation” of homosexuality, any more than “I really wish I hadn’t achieved a BAC of 23.8 and had sex with Der Trihs” is an accusation of rape. In a thread that among other things was created to bash me? Come on. It’s as stereotypical as accusing a woman of being a slut. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/115 "2011-01-16T07:03:11Z")
Well, I didn’t want to say anything, but I’ve heard that Diana _does_ shake a lot of hands… ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/116 "2011-01-16T07:06:50Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > That doesn’t follow at all. Well, you’ve said that if you told the woman upfront that you would be taping her, that she’d say no, correct? So we know that all women would view taping as unreasonable. Not telling someone you are taping them is a lie of omission at the very least. So there’s the dishonesty. And you don’t see any possible middle ground between taping and celibacy so your choices are dishonesty or celibacy. It looks perfectly clear to me. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/117 "2011-01-16T07:16:27Z")
Exactly. When you create a false dichotomy between “honesty” and “getting laid”, you’re essentially The Situation with a more impressive vocabulary. Congratulations on your relative literacy, Der Trihs! BTW, Inner Stickler, my daughter asked me to tell you that you’re kind of awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/118 "2011-01-16T07:17:02Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Well, you’ve said that if you told the woman upfront that you would be taping her, that she’d say no, correct? So we know that all women would view taping as unreasonable. Not telling someone you are taping them is a lie of omission at the very least. So there’s the dishonesty. And you don’t see any possible middle ground between taping and celibacy so your choices are dishonesty or celibacy. It looks perfectly clear to me. You presume that I think that the women are being reasonably by being offended; I don’t. And of course there are alternatives, despite how other people in this thread appear unwilling to come up with any. They just founder on the same problems. For example, another idea you see occasionally come up is insisting that women sign a consent form before sex; but again, that won’t work because women would take it as an insult and refuse. Anything but a wholly lopsided trust relationship appears to be anathema to the vast majority of women in this country. They can make it work because men are self destructively willing to put up with it, but that doesn’t make it fair or less self destructive for the men. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/119 "2011-01-16T07:24:16Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Women can ruin men’s lives casually, with minimal effort and with little to no repercussions to themselves. No one can be trusted with that kind of power. No woman has that kind of power, not unless you grant them that power. Except mothers, of course. Every male child (no matter how old) is at the mercy of his mother, in particular those who are prejudiced against…oh, wait. Now I get it. 😉 > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > The answer here is that sex is not for you. Sex with _women_, that’s for dead certain! (Oh, is that statement ever _dripping_ with irony…) ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2011, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602/120 "2011-01-16T07:25:47Z")
So in other words, you think that it’s okay to be dishonest in the interest of getting laid. Seriously dude, stop with the equivocations. You believe that you have the absolute right to be dishonest with a woman in the interest of getting laid. That’s kinda rapey.\* \*Anyone who cares to search would find that my attitude toward rape does not lend itself to the “I wish I hadn’t done that” school of ‘violation’. We’re all responsible for our own actions, and when our actions include intent to deceive, it may not be rape, but it’s still vile. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-about-recording-sex-sessions/567602.md?page=7)