# What do YOU think is wrong with my toes? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 23, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146 "2007-01-23T20:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/41 "2007-01-24T01:38:16Z")
\ Schistosomiasis! (Not only is it gross, it’s also fun to say out loud!) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/42 "2007-01-24T01:52:12Z")
[QUOTE=Leviosaurus] \ Schistosomiasis! [/QUOTE] I dont think this word means what you think it means. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/43 "2007-01-24T02:20:56Z")
Pto(e)maine poisoning? Tolio? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/44 "2007-01-24T03:48:32Z")
[QUOTE=samclem] Pto(e)maine poisoning? Tolio? [/QUOTE] \ ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/45 "2007-01-24T04:41:36Z")
\ Youse guys are funny. I personally think [it’s the devil](http://docsouth.unc.edu/true/mss04-05/mss04-05.html). [QUOTE=Robert T. Hall] I cannot even walk with grace With ladies fair, (oh sad misfortune) In each and every time and place My ill luck still does me importune For I must limp and thereby show The D—l is in my poor old toe [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/46 "2007-01-24T05:22:36Z")
You know what’s wrong with your toes? It’s _SATAN!!_/Church Lady ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/47 "2007-01-24T05:28:16Z")
[QUOTE=Leviosaurus] \ Schistosomiasis! (Not only is it gross, it’s also fun to say out loud!) [/QUOTE] Dammit - that was going to be mine! You, sir, are the poopy pants! Okay, my SECOND guess then is - toe transplant. Did you fall asleep at any point during your ski trip? Did you wake up in an ice water bath? Do your toes look familiar? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/48 "2007-01-24T05:31:11Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Okay, my SECOND guess then is - toe transplant. Did you fall asleep at any point during your ski trip? Did you wake up in an ice water bath? Do your toes look familiar? [/QUOTE] Humm - I _DID_ doze off coming down Paradise Bowl…and my toes _DO_ look a little different… ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/49 "2007-01-24T06:45:02Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] For anyone who’s toes have never been totally numb for a week - it feels really, really weird. I was trying to put nail polish on this am and kept painting all over my toes 'cus I couldn’t feel it shmoo over. (I had taken the polish off for the Drs. exam…) [/QUOTE] I have 2 toes that have been partially numb for the last year and a half. First noticed it when I was hiking on the Isle of Arran in August of 2005. Thought I had something in my shoe, but I couldn’t find anything when I checked. Took me 2 days to figure out what was going on. :smack: Podiatrist dianosed a neuroma on the nerve going to that part of my foot. Since it doesn’t cause any pain, he left it there. You mostly get used to it, but once in a while it is really noticeable. **Alice** , ignore the silly theories given here. Obviously, while skiing you accidently put your toes through a small rip in the space/time continuum. Your toes are now stuck in the hole and you are dragging it around with you. Since the physical laws there are slightly out of tune with ours, your nerves in your toes don’t transmit the information they are receiving in the correct manner to your brain. See, simple explanation. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/50 "2007-01-24T07:23:36Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Why would I go back to my Dr before she has the results of the numerous tests that she has sent me for to help diagnose what’s wrong with my toes. Just to say hi? [/QUOTE] Well yeah. Doctors get lonely. He’s pobably just in his office right now wiping away the tears and sitting by the phone. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/51 "2007-01-24T13:10:57Z")
[QUOTE=Lok] I have 2 toes that have been partially numb for the last year and a half. First noticed it when I was hiking on the Isle of Arran in August of 2005. Thought I had something in my shoe, but I couldn’t find anything when I checked. Took me 2 days to figure out what was going on. :smack: Podiatrist dianosed a neuroma on the nerve going to that part of my foot. Since it doesn’t cause any pain, he left it there. You mostly get used to it, but once in a while it is really noticeable. **Alice** , ignore the silly theories given here. Obviously, while skiing you accidently put your toes through a small rip in the space/time continuum. Your toes are now stuck in the hole and you are dragging it around with you. Since the physical laws there are slightly out of tune with ours, your nerves in your toes don’t transmit the information they are receiving in the correct manner to your brain. See, simple explanation. [/QUOTE] Morton’s neuroma is a benign tumor of a peripheral nerve that typically involves the intermetatarsal nerve between the heads of the 3rd and 4th metatarsals. It is usually caused by compression irritation of the nerve – the 3rd and 4th metatarsal bones are closer together than the others. The “tumor” may grow to be the size of a grape and can be quite painful – parasthesia extending to the adjacent sides of the 3rd and 4th toes. The condition is typically precipitated by wearing tight shoes and in certain biomechanical foot types (i.e. pronation). Since Morton’s neuroma usually involves only two toes (I assume more of alice\_in\_wonderland’s toes are involved) and the symptoms are most often pain and burning as opposed to numbness, I think we can safely rule out neuroma in her case. The rip in the space-time continuum would definitely be on the differential diagnosis, however. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/52 "2007-01-24T13:18:01Z")
Perhpas they aren’t your toes at all. You were “taken” and fitted with cyborg toes. When the aliens come you will be an unwilling human participant in their army, kicking your neighbors to death. …Nah, I still thinks it a flipper foot mutation. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/53 "2007-01-24T13:43:25Z")
Look here , you’re all wrong and the answer is really quite obvious. Whilst **Alice** was skiing it’s obvious that a snow leprechaun sneakily jumped into her boots as she was on the piste. Snow leprechauns, as every one knows, are somewhat partial to toes. They set up home there, raise a family of extremely small sprogs and the sprogs nibble the toes of the host until nothing is left but lumps of misshapen bone. There is no known cure other than dipping feet in bath of sulphuric acid ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/54 "2007-01-24T13:49:41Z")
Sounds like you’ve got shpillkis in your ganecta-gazoink. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/55 "2007-01-24T14:04:31Z")
Come to think of it, **Alice** , post pictures of your gazoinks too. (They need not be ganected.) ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/56 "2007-01-24T16:44:54Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] I’ll tell you what’s wrong with your toes! They’re soft and pampered! You’ve coddled your toes, and now you’re reaping the whirlwind! Of course your toes are numb, what with all the nail polish and pedicures and DDR you’ve spoiled them with over the years! Toes today have no sense of personal responsibility! There was a time when toes knew their place in this country, and that place was at the ends of our feet! Our toes didn’t gad about on romantic ski holidays, ensconced in plush alpaca-lined Alpine Touring boots! We crammed our toes into ill-fitting, steel-reinforced work galoshes and then spent hours scraping ice off the driveway, smashing our insensible podal extremities into unidentifiable twisted stumps of frozen meat, our boots filling with slush and icewater until our toes lost all circulation, achieved absolute zero temperature and resolved into a Bose-Einstein condensate! AND THEY WERE GRATEFUL! [/QUOTE] Bah!, amateur, back when _I_ was learning to ski, our ski boot liners were filled with rusty razorblades and broken glass, and on top of that, we wore boots three sizes too small and they were made of _lead_, and that’s the way we liked it! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/57 "2007-01-24T17:14:34Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. PoopiePants] Morton’s neuroma is a benign tumor of a peripheral nerve that typically involves the intermetatarsal nerve between the heads of the 3rd and 4th metatarsals. It is usually caused by compression irritation of the nerve – the 3rd and 4th metatarsal bones are closer together than the others. The “tumor” may grow to be the size of a grape and can be quite painful – parasthesia extending to the adjacent sides of the 3rd and 4th toes. The condition is typically precipitated by wearing tight shoes and in certain biomechanical foot types (i.e. pronation). Since Morton’s neuroma usually involves only two toes (I assume more of alice\_in\_wonderland’s toes are involved) and the symptoms are most often pain and burning as opposed to numbness, I think we can safely rule out neuroma in her case.\ [/QUOTE] Who keeps letting _this_ crankcase in here? Weirdo. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/58 "2007-01-24T17:18:26Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Who keeps letting _this_ crankcase in here? Weirdo. [/QUOTE] I **KNOW**! And I thought this friggin’ board had _STANDARDS_! Hah. Fighting ignorance indeed! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/59 "2007-01-24T17:19:48Z")
[QUOTE=NinjaChick] Creeping Zombification. In a week or two you’ll start feeling cravings for brains, I bet. [/QUOTE] Reverse Zombification… in a week or two, you’ll start feeling craving for toes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/60 "2007-01-24T19:05:42Z")
Obviously you were bitten by a venomous toe snake and need to have the poison sucked out immediately before it spreads. Of course, there’s a chance that the person doing the sucking could accidently swallow some of the poison and die. Naturally, I’m willing to risk such a possibility to save your live, **alice**. It’s the only gentlemanly thing to do. Or you might have a toemor! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146.md?page=4)