# What do YOU think is wrong with my toes? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 23, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146 "2007-01-23T20:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/61 "2007-01-24T22:39:42Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Naturally, I’m willing to risk such a possibility to save your live, **alice**. It’s the only gentlemanly thing to do. [/QUOTE] Huh. I never figured you for a toe sucker… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/62 "2007-01-24T23:36:25Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] \ Or you might have a toemor! [/QUOTE] It’s not a toemor. (You didn’t figure **Tucker** for a toe-sucker? I totally did!) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/63 "2007-01-25T08:54:12Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Huh. I never figured you for a toe sucker… [/QUOTE] I’m not, actually, but [del]if it’ll get you off[/del] save your life, I’m more than willing to oblige. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/64 "2007-01-25T18:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] Reverse Zombification… in a week or two, you’ll start feeling craving for toes. 😃 [/QUOTE] Oh, don’t be so silly. Everyone knows that Reverse Zombification is when you brain starts consuming the rest of your body. It has nothing to do with toes. Also, is it me, or has this thread become mildly creepy? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/65 "2007-01-25T18:55:20Z")
**alice\_in\_wonderland** , have you been dating Mark Gastineau? Because if you have, it could be Gang-green. And you know what That means… _whips out hack-saw_ [StephenKing]“This is going to be Extreeeemely painful…!”[/StephenKing] :eek: ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/66 "2007-01-25T19:23:18Z")
[QUOTE=NinjaChick] Also, is it me, or has this thread become mildly creepy? [/QUOTE] What do you mean “mildly”? ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/67 "2007-01-26T04:27:36Z")
You’re all wrong. There must have been a radioactive spider in the boots which bit **alice** , turning her into a reversed Spiderman. Soon, she’ll start shooting webs, but instead of shooting webs from her wrists, she’ll shoot webs from her ankles, but they’ll go directly into the floor glueing her shoes into place. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/68 "2007-01-26T04:49:01Z")
[QUOTE=Billdo] You’re all wrong. There must have been a radioactive spider in the boots which bit **alice** , turning her into a reversed Spiderman. Soon, she’ll start shooting webs, but instead of shooting webs from her wrists, she’ll shoot webs from her ankles, but they’ll go directly into the floor glueing her shoes into place. [/QUOTE] So her ski bindings will be rock solid, right? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/69 "2007-01-26T04:51:51Z")
[QUOTE=Billdo] You’re all wrong. There must have been a radioactive spider in the boots which bit **alice** , turning her into a reversed Spiderman. Soon, she’ll start shooting webs, but instead of shooting webs from her wrists, she’ll shoot webs from her ankles, but they’ll go directly into the floor glueing her shoes into place. [/QUOTE] I wonder if I can parlez this into a money making scheme… “Never lose your shoes again! Tired of losing that one shoe driving down the highway\*? No more with the Ronko patented _No Slip Shoe Web_[sup]TM[/sup]” I’m gonna be RICH! \*What is up with that anyway. A pair of pants I can see, but who the heck loses a SHOE while they’re driving?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/70 "2007-01-26T05:13:16Z")
I have wondered that myself. I see lone shoes quite frequently in my travels. Maybe people put their shoes on the car while getting in and forget they’re up there? ---
**Author:** ![conurepete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@conurepete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/conurepete)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/71 "2007-01-26T05:54:31Z")
It is a simple mix up. Alice, you can not feel them because they are not your toes. They are mine. I have been plagued with the sensation of my toes zooming down ski slopes, wiggling, tapping and being experimentally pinched at odd hours of the day. My toes have experienced a multitude of peculiar sensations that I can only hope were crude neurological tests. Clearly, you left your toes on the slopes in the comforting anesthesia of the snow, and mistakenly left with mine. I will admit to fault in not sewing my name into them for ease of identification, but I must point out that it was irresponsible of you not paint your toes safety orange for greater visibility in winter conditions ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/72 "2007-01-26T08:43:31Z")
[QUOTE=NinjaChick] Also, is it me, or has this thread become mildly creepy? [/QUOTE] Hey! I resemble that remark! That’s _Mister_ Mildly Creepy, to you. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/73 "2007-01-26T11:30:26Z")
You’re developing freaky monkey feet. Don’t worry, because that just makes it worse. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/74 "2007-01-26T12:06:35Z")
I’m learning to play guitar, and my left hand fingers have this weird semi-numb sensation as a result. While you were frolicking about in the snow, your toes must have been playing guitar. Or maybe bass. The character Alesandro from _A Soldier of the Great War_ (great book by the way) made the observation that feet come in two types - feet of beauty, and feet of indestructibility. Since you have suffered some degree of destruction, we can therefore conclude that you have feet of beauty. Well, until they start to turn black and fall off anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/75 "2007-01-26T13:37:43Z")
It has to be toelio. They used to put toes into an iron boot for treatment. I don’t know just what they do now for treatment. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/76 "2007-01-26T17:04:08Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] It has to be toelio. They used to put toes into an iron boot for treatment. I don’t know just what they do now for treatment. [/QUOTE] I don’t actually have any iron boots - that’s it…_SHOE SHOPPING!_ As if I need an excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/77 "2007-01-27T04:28:03Z")
Glad I could be of service. Go shop, tell everyone is medically necessary. Submit the bills to the government. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/78 "2007-01-27T04:31:17Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] Glad I could be of service. Go shop, tell everyone is medically necessary. Submit the bills to the government. [/QUOTE] I _LIKE_ the way you think, sir! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/79 "2007-01-27T04:39:25Z")
[QUOTE=gonzomax] Call a toe truck. [/QUOTE] This still has me giggling a day later… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2007, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146/80 "2007-01-27T08:19:34Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] Glad I could be of service. Go shop, tell everyone is medically necessary. Submit the bills to the government. [/QUOTE] I’ve got a _better_ idea! I’ll _make_ **alice** a pair, hand her an exorbitant bill to present to the government, then when they pay up, I’ll take **alice** to some nice tropical island! (And split some of the money with her!) 🆒 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-wrong-with-my-toes/389146.md?page=5)