# What do you think is your child's main shortfall? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2007, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705 "2007-03-20T12:53:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/21 "2007-03-21T04:39:19Z")
I don’t know what to make of this, but I can not imagine how it is even possible to participate in the spirit of a thread like this. Maybe I just need to be around my (two year old) kid for a few more years… -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/22 "2007-03-21T04:40:27Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] I think my daughter has trouble relating to people because she is socially awkward in many small ways. For instance, she does things such as looking at one person when she is talking to another, or responding to questions with an answer that is only tangentially related. [/QUOTE] I already like her and feel an irrational need to protect her from negative judgments against the kind of behavior you mention. Just sayin’ is all… -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/23 "2007-03-21T04:50:09Z")
His parents. ---
**Author:** ![Layla01](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/layla01/32/15552_2.png) [@Layla01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Layla01)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/24 "2007-03-21T05:25:15Z")
My 7 year old son is OBSESSED with Playstation and PC games - we’d like to get him to cut playing time down to a minimum but with a pair of computer geeks/gamers for parents it’s not easy to lead by example… We’re hoping he’ll be a future Bill Gates or something. 😉 My 11 year old is very serious and has that oldest child thing going on…and is exactly like me. I’m hoping I can help her through her teenage years better than my own parents did with me. Both of them are fun to be with and interesting people - ask me again in a couple of years… ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/25 "2007-03-21T12:58:54Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] I don’t know what to make of this, but I can not imagine how it is even possible to participate in the spirit of a thread like this. Maybe I just need to be around my (two year old) kid for a few more years… -FrL- [/QUOTE] Yep. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/26 "2007-03-21T13:18:43Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] I already like her and feel an irrational need to protect her from negative judgments against the kind of behavior you mention. Just sayin’ is all… -FrL- [/QUOTE] I like her too, and I’m trying to help her. For instance, I sit in on her guitar lessons, so I see her interact with her teacher and I don’t butt in. Afterward, however, I talk to her about it. I’ll say something like, “Remember when he asked you that question and you answered it but then he had to ask you to repeat it about four times? Well, it helps if you look at someone when you’re talking and it’s okay to talk a little louder too.” She also has trouble making friends at school. I have suggested a lot of things that are fun to do around town, and asked her to invite someone over. I’ll foot the bill and get them where they need to go, but I think I’ve got to get her to reach out. This thread isn’t, “Things you hate about your kids”, but “Things that your kid needs to work on in order to live a happier and more fulfilling life”. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/27 "2007-03-21T13:44:18Z")
**Frylock** - I don’t see these posts as parents critisizing their children, I see parents who worry about the problems they see their children having. No child is perfect, not even yours. If he’s a grabby toddler who thinks everything is “mine, mine, mine!”, you’re not being a bad parent if you recognize that’s a behaviour that needs to change. If she’s a shy kindergartner who’s afraid to talk to other kids, it’s right to worry about her and try to bring her out of her shell. A parent’s responsibility is helping their child to grow up to be a happy, productive adult. They can’t do that if they think that everything their child does is absolutely perfect. A parent needs to be a realist. StG ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/28 "2007-03-21T14:55:58Z")
Get this…my daughter, when she needs to go to the bathroom, she just lets loose. Doesn’t actually go to where a toilet is, like a normal person. Nope, she just does her business, right where she is, leaving me or my wife to clean it up. Lemme tell ya, if she wasn’t only 16 months old… ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/29 "2007-03-21T16:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=StGermain] **Frylock** - I don’t see these posts as parents critisizing their children, I see parents who worry about the problems they see their children having. No child is perfect, not even yours. If he’s a grabby toddler who thinks everything is “mine, mine, mine!”, you’re not being a bad parent if you recognize that’s a behaviour that needs to change. If she’s a shy kindergartner who’s afraid to talk to other kids, it’s right to worry about her and try to bring her out of her shell. [/quote] Well, sure, but _my_ child would never _do_ that. 😛 No but seriously, I think it is just a case of me needing to know my kid for a few more years. The worst my wife and I could come up with is whenever he’s got a cold he likes to show us his boogers. This annoys both of us, but its kind of our fault–to teach him how to blow his nose, we used to act “excited” when his blowing was actually productive, and we’d show it to him and say “good job!” Well, that backfired. 🙂 > [@](#): > > A parent’s responsibility is helping their child to grow up to be a happy, productive adult. They can’t do that if they think that everything their child does is absolutely perfect. A parent needs to be a realist. > > StG From now on I’ll read the thread title as “Things you wish your kid wouldn’t do.” For some reason, I balk at the word “shortcoming.” Not sure why. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/30 "2007-03-21T16:23:30Z")
We are a little… worried? concerned? apprehensive? can’t find the right word. She’s is 17 months and isn’t walking yet. I’m of the opinion that she’ll walk when she’s damn well ready to. My wife is a bit more anxious about it. It seems to me that she crawls very well and has doesn’t have any immediate incentive to walk. We clap and cheer and say “yay! well done!” when she stands up on her own or lets us hold her hands and walk her around the room. I’m hoping she’ll realise that she can dance better when she’s on just her back legs. She loves music and dancing. > [@WhyNot](#): > > …the grace of a drunk hippo walking through a field of landmines. Love the description. Have you seen footage of a hippo underwater? They become amazingly graceful. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/31 "2007-03-21T16:24:01Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] From now on I’ll read the thread title as “Things you wish your kid wouldn’t do.” For some reason, I balk at the word “shortcoming.” Not sure why. -FrL- [/QUOTE] Understandable. I just meant to follow the pattern of the other “shortfall” threads. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/32 "2007-03-21T16:29:20Z")
**1920’s** , my daughter did not walk until 17 months. She just didn’t see the need, I think. She _could_ crawl, but usually chose to do a sort of bunny hop, or else she would sit on her bottom and scootch. So you’re not alone. But if it lasts through 18 months, I’d probably ask the pediatrician about it. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/33 "2007-03-21T16:33:04Z")
[QUOTE=Frylock] From now on I’ll read the thread title as “Things you wish your kid wouldn’t do.” For some reason, I balk at the word “shortcoming.” Not sure why. [/QUOTE] If it helps, my old teacher used to refer to these things as “growing edges”. I think it came from her work as a gardener - that area of growth and expansion that needs frequent tending to make sure it shapes as you want it. Sounds so much nicer than “challenge” or “problem”, doesn’t it? 😃 But seriously, yes, you just need time to get to know your kid better. More importantly, you need to get to the point where you’re not the only influence. When you’re there all the time and you know everything he’s seen and done and learned, it’s easy to understand why he shows you his boogers. Wait until he starts school and comes home with his first “My teacher told me [insert thing you disagree with] and she’s the smartest person ever so you must be a stupidhead” story. When they start really forming their own opinions based on data you didn’t enter yourself is when you start to see who they’re really becoming as independent people. **1920s** - 17 months is considered within the norm for not walking, though 19 months is pushing it. [cite](http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerdevelopment/11739.html) Was she a little late in rolling over, sitting up and/or crawling? She’s probably fine. If she doesn’t walk by the end of 18 months, it might be time to consult a PT (Physical Therapist), but I wouldn’t worry yet. You’re probably right that crawling just works perfectly well for now. However, I will suggest Robeez shoes if she’s not wearing them already. They’re flexible, so good for pre-walkers to learn how to move their feet, but the suede soles give some grip on slippery surfaces like hardwood, tile, and even that smooth even carpet in my mother’s house. Plus, of course, [how cute is that?!](http://www.robeez.com/product.aspx?ProductID=539&deptid=55&PriceCat=2&Lang=EN-US&RefID=5067) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/34 "2007-03-21T16:40:20Z")
[QUOTE=Solfy] The 1yr old’s shortfall is that she has decided that both parents are to be called Daddy. My husband is Daddy, and I am Daddy (not that there’s anything wrong with having two daddies - however I am most certainly a mommy). [/QUOTE] My daughters first word was Daddy. My heart almost ached. Then I noticed she was clearly pointing to the door. Over the next couple of weeks, daddy became the generic label for walls, floors, carpets, the chair, toys, food, and the neighbour’s dog. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/35 "2007-03-21T16:51:35Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] **1920s** - 17 months is considered within the norm for not walking, though 19 months is pushing it. [cite](http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerdevelopment/11739.html) Was she a little late in rolling over, sitting up and/or crawling? She’s probably fine. If she doesn’t walk by the end of 18 months, it might be time to consult a PT (Physical Therapist), but I wouldn’t worry yet. You’re probably right that crawling just works perfectly well for now. However, I will suggest Robeez shoes if she’s not wearing them already. They’re flexible, so good for pre-walkers to learn how to move their feet, but the suede soles give some grip on slippery surfaces like hardwood, tile, and even that smooth even carpet in my mother’s house. Plus, of course, [how cute is that?!](http://www.robeez.com/product.aspx?ProductID=539&deptid=55&PriceCat=2&Lang=EN-US&RefID=5067) [/QUOTE] She was crawling early but sitting up very late. She was crawling like a trooper long before she’d contemplate sitting on her bum. She’s always been more comfortable kneeling rather than sitting. There is a regular check with a nurse at 18 months so if she’s not walking at that stage something will get done about it. She has never worn any kind of shoes as we live in a hot climate and shoes just haven’t been necessary yet. We may try getting her some though as it is possible that she doesn’t feel comfortable standing on our lino floor. She is also quite small (bottom 10%) and I suspect that she hasn’t developed enough strength in her legs yet. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/36 "2007-03-21T16:56:21Z")
My son’s biggest shortcoming is really our shortcoming - he refuses to sleep through the night in his crib. He used to, then three months ago, he got RSV, then he got something else, then something else, etc. So we let him sleep in bed with us and now he doesn’t want to sleep anywhere else and will wake up every hour if put in his crib. I absolutely love waking up to that huge grin every morning, but I’m not a fan of waking to impromptu dental exams and having tiny fingers stuck up my nose at 6 a.m. (he gave me a nosebleed earlier in the week - damn sharp nails!). I think I would just co-sleep until he was older if it didn’t mean periodic kicks in the head in the middle of the night. Now that he’s healthy, my husband and I are going ready to suck it up and put him back to sleep in his crib when he wakes up. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/37 "2007-03-21T17:14:06Z")
[QUOTE=overlyverbose] My son’s biggest shortcoming is really our shortcoming - he refuses to sleep through the night in his crib. He used to, then three months ago, he got RSV, then he got something else, then something else, etc. So we let him sleep in bed with us and now he doesn’t want to sleep anywhere else and will wake up every hour if put in his crib. I absolutely love waking up to that huge grin every morning, but I’m not a fan of waking to impromptu dental exams and having tiny fingers stuck up my nose at 6 a.m. (he gave me a nosebleed earlier in the week - damn sharp nails!). I think I would just co-sleep until he was older if it didn’t mean periodic kicks in the head in the middle of the night. Now that he’s healthy, my husband and I are going ready to suck it up and put him back to sleep in his crib when he wakes up. [/QUOTE] When my son was a baby, we were taking a nap together and he gave me one hell of a black eye with a sudden head-butt. We both cried. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/38 "2007-03-21T17:57:54Z")
[QUOTE=Solfy] The 1yr old’s shortfall is that she has decided that both parents are to be called Daddy. My husband is Daddy, and I am Daddy (not that there’s anything wrong with having two daddies - however I am most certainly a mommy). [/QUOTE] Don’t feel too bad. My husband was delighted when our seven-month-old began babbling “Da-da! Da-da!” last week, but has become much LESS delighted as our son has decided that his “Da-da!” is our boy cat, and now will yell “Da-da! Da-da! Da-da!” at Oscar excitedly when the cat walks by, but refuses to say “Da-da!” to his real da-da. 😃 My 16 month old nephew also refers to both parents as “Daddy”. My sister-in-law is _thrilled_ with that. My son’s major shortcoming is that he still poops his pants. Loudly. We’ve given up on teaching him restaurant manners just yet. E. [And upon preview…Damn you, Hal Briston, for stealing my joke! 😛] ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/39 "2007-03-21T22:17:59Z")
[QUOTE=Gary Kumquat] My daughters first word was Daddy. My heart almost ached. Then I noticed she was clearly pointing to the door. Over the next couple of weeks, daddy became the generic label for walls, floors, carpets, the chair, toys, food, and the neighbour’s dog. [/QUOTE] Ahhh, I was so thrilled when Shayla started calling me “Da-da”…until she started confusing it with “bye-bye”, a phrase she _loves_ to use to everyone – friends and strangers alike. Now, when I push her carriage around in the supermarket, she waves at every passerby and yells “Da-da!”. More than one person has given me a very strange look about that one. More recently, she’s rediscovered her interest in out cat, [Boo](http://www.sirblah.com/photo/view.php?album=Shayla&mode=&start=120&pic=Shayla133.JPG&picindex=132). A few days ago, she pointed at him and asked me “Zat Boo?” I was _thrilled_. My daughter was asking a full question! She said something that made sense! No babble! I said “Yes Sweetie…that’s Boo”. She looked at him again and confidently said “Zat’s Boo.” My heart melted. Then yesterday I was carrying her downstairs after her nap. She pointed to the wall, the banister, the doors, the windows, the pictures, the radiator…every single thing on the way. And as she pointed to each of them, she asked the same thing: “Zat Boo?” \ And “neener” to you, **Elza** 😛 ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705/40 "2007-03-21T22:36:52Z")
**Hal** , both of my kids used a particular “word” to ask the names of things when they were going through that stage. My daughter’s was “waddit?” and my son’s was “dat?” It was a game to get us to name stuff for them, which was about the limit of their verbal interaction abilities at the time. She’s just trying to make conversation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-is-your-childs-main-shortfall/396705.md?page=3)