# What do you think of people that never show anger? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 1, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117 "2018-07-01T21:26:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Contemplation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Contemplation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contemplation)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/1 "2018-07-01T21:26:34Z")
Do you know anyone who never shows his/her anger? What do you think of him or her? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/2 "2018-07-01T21:28:02Z")
Tends to piss me off but I usually keep it to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/3 "2018-07-01T21:34:14Z")
Generally, I don’t think too much of it one way or another although it does depend on circumstances. If I have reason to believe that they are repressing anger while acting passive aggressive then THAT annoys me. If you’re angry with me, speak up or get over it. If you don’t respect me enough to be honest with me then I see no reason to spend any more time with you than I need. ---
**Author:** ![Contemplation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Contemplation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contemplation)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/4 "2018-07-01T21:58:24Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Tends to piss me off but I usually keep it to myself. are you one of those people yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/5 "2018-07-01T21:59:10Z")
Repressed anger is a dangerous thing. I avoid those folks. I don’t like like to annoy or be on the receiving end of an angry outburst, so I steer clear. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/6 "2018-07-01T22:01:46Z")
I envy them because I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I’m angry, you know it; everybody knows it. To my great detriment. It’s something I’m working on. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/7 "2018-07-01T22:08:01Z")
My anger is a personal thing. You aren’t entitled to see it, any more than you’re entitled to watch me get sexually aroused. If I choose to express it to you, that’s _my_ choice. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/8 "2018-07-01T22:11:33Z")
I think some but not all of those types are the ones that have an extremely long fuse, but you don’t want to be around when they finally blow because if a person that is never outwardly angry, finally expresses that anger it might be on some other whole level of anger or righteous rage or something. ---
**Author:** ![anomalous1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@anomalous1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anomalous1)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/9 "2018-07-01T22:34:03Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Tends to piss me off but I usually keep it to myself. This is the best reply so far. Fantastic! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![anomalous1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@anomalous1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anomalous1)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/10 "2018-07-01T22:35:04Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > My anger is a personal thing. You aren’t entitled to see it, any more than you’re entitled to watch me get sexually aroused. If I choose to express it to you, that’s _my_ choice. Both are likely to land you in jail too, for different reasons. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![senoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@senoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/senoy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/11 "2018-07-01T22:51:29Z")
Some of us just aren’t angry people. I’m just almost never angry. Frustrated is about as far as I go in that direction. My negative emotions tend to be more sadness oriented. So if say I catch someone keying my car, I’m much more likely to be sad at the state of civil society than angry at the person who did it. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/12 "2018-07-01T22:55:42Z")
Isn’t there some presumption in the question? You would have to assume that you can tell when someone is angry when they aren’t showing it. How do you know? If someone tells me they are angry but doesn’t exhibit any obvious signs, I tend to be grateful. I can then tell my own feelings and we can work on whatever is going on. Expressing anger (shouting, hitting things, stomping out) let’s me know you’re angry but it doesn’t leave as much room for doing anything about it. By the time you’re an adult you should be able to control your anger enough, at least, so that it doesn’t get you into worse situations than you were already in. Now if you’re talking about people who don’t _get_ angry when anyone else would, that’s a different discussion. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/13 "2018-07-01T22:59:43Z")
Yes, some of us just don’t get angry in that way. I find violently expressed anger difficult to understand. I had someone scream at me in a rage about five years ago, and I still feel uncomfortable around him and try to avoid him whenever possible. Like **senoy** , I tend to get sad, or direct my anger inward. It’s not that I have a burning rage inside that I’m repressing; it’s that I just don’t feel that kind of rage. I’ve told the story before, but until I was an adult, I always thought that those scenes of someone throwing dishes, or smashing something against a wall in anger were just made up for the movies and T.V. I didn’t think anybody actually behaved that way. It just didn’t make sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/14 "2018-07-01T23:00:29Z")
On Dad’s side of the family its a fairly common trait. We tend to take anger and channel it more towards laughter and mockery as a form of expression. We do have our minor (and they really are minor) explosions but they are more before a limited audience. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/15 "2018-07-01T23:13:07Z")
Depends. If they are stoic but don’t expect everyone else to be that way, that’s totally fine. It’s nice knowing that at least one of the heads in the room will be cool and objective when the shit starts flying. But if they are sanctimonious in their stoicism–the kind of person who is so detached from what’s going on that they think anyone who is upset is just stirring up trouble? No, I don’t want to be around someone like that. I don’t want people to necessarily share my anger. But I at least want them to validate it and understand where it is coming from and not tell me to “calm down” just because the emotion in my voice makes them feel uncomfortable. I don’t have patience for people like that. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2018, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/16 "2018-07-02T00:49:14Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Repressed anger is a dangerous thing. I avoid those folks. I don’t like like to annoy or be on the receiving end of an angry outburst, so I steer clear. You steer clear of people who don’t show their anger because you don’t like to see them showing their anger?? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2018, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/17 "2018-07-02T01:41:11Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Repressed anger is a dangerous thing. I avoid those folks. I don’t like like to annoy or be on the receiving end of an angry outburst, so I steer clear. It isn’t necessarily repressed. I get angry less often than most people seem to and I’m not just hiding it, I really don’t feel it. I also don’t get stressed out as often either. Most people remark that I’m unusually calm. According to my parents I have always been even tempered, so I was just designed this way. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2018, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/18 "2018-07-02T01:53:06Z")
I’ve learned to manage it. I used to get angry, about average probably. But I made a conscious focused effort to recognize when I was angry, spend a moment considering whether to get even, decide it’s not worth it, and get on with my life, which is on balance, not very angergenic. When I met my wife, we agreed to a promise that our household would be an anger-free zone. Every once in a while, we have to remind each other of that. , and then everything is fine again. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2018, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/19 "2018-07-02T04:31:46Z")
I’m not repressing my anger, I’m just rational. I’ve never seen something resolved constructively because one or both parties got angry. People don’t form well-reasoned, convincing arguments when they’re angry - they use profanity, insults, and threaten and/or use violence. I’m also a bit too cynical to get really angry. Road rage baffles me, for instance - where have these people been, that seeing someone drive poorly has them flying into a violent rage? How are they not _constantly_ upset? ---
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2018, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117/20 "2018-07-02T04:36:58Z")
It depends. Sometimes, I admire it. Watching debaters who can present arguments and not lose it when their opponent is rude or unwilling to listen amazes me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-people-that-never-show-anger/817117.md?page=2)