# What do you think of roadside memorials? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 2, 2006, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596 "2006-02-02T00:01:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Let\_the\_machine\_get\_it](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@Let\_the\_machine\_get\_it](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Let_the_machine_get_it)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/1 "2006-02-02T00:01:03Z")
In this city the kids put roadside memorials wherever there’s a fatal accident. Cards, balloons, banners, teddy bears, and strangely liquor bottles, whether or not alcohol was involved. The thing stays up for a couple weeks, or else they will complain to the paper that police or street cleaners are disrespecting the dead. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/2 "2006-02-02T00:04:15Z")
There is a roadside memorial in Phoenix on eastbound Greenway Parkway that has been there for at least a year now. It seems relatively undisturbed and it doesn’t bother me any. I figure that it’s serving it’s purpose for whomever put it there. Who am I to judge how they handle their grief? ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/3 "2006-02-02T00:14:22Z")
They’re illegal in Oregon. I personally have mixed feelings. On the one hand, they are a distraction. On the other, I’m sure they give some small measure of comfort to the victims’ familiers. And seeing one makes me think about being more careful when I drive, at least for a while. But I doubt they have much effect on the typical vehicular manslaughter perpitrator. ---
**Author:** ![xbuckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9e8a1a/32.png) [@xbuckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xbuckeye)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/4 "2006-02-02T00:23:22Z")
I am OK with them, in general, as long as they aren’t big or close to the road. I used to drive past on for someone I knew sometimes, and I always thought of him. IIRC, there was a woman somewhere who went waaay overboard by erecting a full sized fake Christmas tree every year, a 4’x8’ picture of the decedent, inflatable yard decorations, pink flamingos, etc. I forget what all there was. She got all bent out of shape when the powers that be limited her to a certain diameter from the tree her son was killed driving into. I do think they need to be more of a rural highway/interstate thing than an urban thing and that they shouldn’t be near intersections/driveways where they migh cause another accident by blocking visability. I think Wyoming has a state-sanctioned program where you can buy a marker from the state that says something like drive safely. I remember seeing the somewhere in that part of the country on a road trip. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/5 "2006-02-02T00:33:30Z")
I pass by one particular place, twice a week. It’s a fairly ordinary country road, but quite a sharp turn. Almost enough to warrant a warning sign, but evidently not quite enough. Each week, the same stuffed toy duck is in place, along with a fresh bunch of flowers. The duck stays the same, but the flowers are replaced every time. I’ve no idea what happened, I’ve got nothing whatsoever to do with the family(s) involved. But they’re hit home far more than any televised emotion-marathon ever has. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/6 "2006-02-02T00:51:36Z")
Very common in Tennessee. All over the place. TDOT (I am a TDOT employee) has a policy of leaving them alone, unless they are in the way of mowing, or made of materials that endanger wildlife. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/7 "2006-02-02T00:59:27Z")
One TV show’s opinion… > [@Law and Order: SVU](#): > > Elliot Stabler [on such a memorial]: Just once, I want to see people take a little bit of a breather before they let the healing begin. Look at this. ‘Enrolled in God’s college now. We love you, Jeanne.’ > Olivia Benson: Come on, Elliot. It’s a spontaneous outpouring of emotion. > Elliot Stabler: I’m just saying, if ever go down, you better make sure the place where my body is found doesn’t EVER look like this or I will haunt you for the rest of your days. > Olivia Benson: Gotcha. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/8 "2006-02-02T01:03:59Z")
I drive infrequently, but when I do drive I find them distracting. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/9 "2006-02-02T01:27:26Z")
Not my way of grieving, but I have no problem with it. Seems nice in a way. Jim ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/10 "2006-02-02T01:33:19Z")
A certain highway in this state has white crosses permanently marking fatal accidents; some are decorated by the families. They’re meant to make people think about being careful, but if you’ve seen them most of your life they fade into the scenery. I don’t have a problem with them, though, because they’re well-intentioned. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/11 "2006-02-02T02:08:35Z")
As a parental unit I have always been somewhat skeeved out by these roadside memorials. If my kid died in a car wreck and I had to drive by the festooned site on a daily basis I would have to drive another route. However, since reading [Skinny Dip](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0375411089/102-1878071-3636118?v=glance&n=283155) by Carl Hiaasen I am now just tempted to steal all the memorial crosses I see and perhaps commit mayhem with them sometime in the future. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/12 "2006-02-02T03:13:14Z")
Makes me wonder why christians are such poor drivers. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/13 "2006-02-02T03:22:45Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > A certain highway in this state has white crosses permanently marking fatal accidents; some are decorated by the families. They’re meant to make people think about being careful, but if you’ve seen them most of your life they fade into the scenery. I don’t have a problem with them, though, because they’re well-intentioned. We have white crosses here in New Zealand too. There’s a particular section of road going between Auckland and Hamilton which is riddled with them and, given that I don’t drive there very often, when I see them they do have an impact and I do take extra care with my driving. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/14 "2006-02-02T03:36:23Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Not my way of grieving, but I have no problem with it. > Seems nice in a way. This is pretty much how I feel about them. I ride my bike to work once a week or so during the fair weather season out here, and I pass by 3 markers of people that have been killed on the roads I travel. 2 of them were cyclists. 1 was just a teenager, younger than my oldest son is now. I nearly cry (or actually, have cried) every time I pass by them, and I think it’s wonderful that someone out there takes the time to put fresh flowers or balloons or pictures or notes at the site. No problem at all with them, just not my way of grieving. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/15 "2006-02-02T06:14:23Z")
I’m not crazy about them. I supose if they were tastfully done w/fresh flowers and whatnot it would be better, but around here the trend seems to be that people will put out a heart-shaped wreath of fake flowers and some paper signs and pretty much leave them there for ever. Within a few months the plastic flower-wreaths have faded and are dirty and the whole thing looks like so much litter. Tacky. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/16 "2006-02-02T07:35:29Z")
They don’t really bother me one way or the other but personally I don’t really understand them. If I died in a car accident the last thing I’d want is for something to remind people of the exact method of my death. Heck, include my story in a safe driving campaign if you really feel it necessary but if you’re gonna make a memorial of me at least make it have something to do with my life. Just my .02. Like I said, if people want to do it, fine by me, I just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/17 "2006-02-02T09:00:59Z")
I suppose they can serve a purpose; several people in this thread have said it makes them drive more carefully, if only for a few minutes, and if those few minutes are the ones during which your extra care keeps you from plowing into me, I’m in favor of that. Personally, though, they do nothing for me. I’m a comically careful driver, to the extent that my wife hates letting me drive because I’m “boring.” And aesthetically, I think they’re usually tacky and distracting. Even the (relatively) tasteful little white crosses always bear, in my mind, a faint stigma of “ostentatious grief,” as though the point were more to demonstrate one’s own suffering to the world. But I don’t begrudge people something that does make them feel better. I know I’m a more private person than most, and I don’t really feel driven to share such things with the world at large; in fact, I feel like my own sensations get somehow diluted the more people I invite in on them. But others seem to feel amplified by that, and that’s fine by me. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/18 "2006-02-02T09:44:05Z")
Hate 'em. It’s a form of “power grieving” and I just find it silly. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/19 "2006-02-02T12:51:55Z")
If seen through the right eyes, they are quite instructive. You learn which sections of road are risky at night/in bad weather. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596/20 "2006-02-02T12:58:30Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > One TV show’s opinion… > _Originally Posted by Law and Order: SVU: > Elliot Stabler: I’m just saying, if ever go down, you better make sure the place where my body is found doesn’t EVER look like this or I will haunt you for the rest of your days._ My thoughts exactly. I hate these things, and they’re all over the place around here. As **Renee** said, when they’re plastic and get dirty, they just look crappy. There’s one I pass that always has a huge stuffed bear with a white cross and loads of flowers, and the bear does get changed every so often, but when it gets rained on it looks tacky for a few days. The newest trend is memorials on the back windows of cars, made out of white contact paper. Cut-out letters, “R.I.P.” with the name of the deceased and their dates of birth and death. :eek: Just awful. There’s also a local towing company, and the owner’s son died in a car accident. All the big tow trucks have “R.I.P. Brian, 1976 to 19-whatever” emblazoned across the front bumpers. I know everyone grieves in their own way, but I think it’s ghoulish. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-roadside-memorials/342596.md?page=2)