# What do you think of this classroom "icebreaker?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 3, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403 "2014-09-03T19:50:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/41 "2014-09-04T02:57:43Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I mean, it’s not like you have to tell the truth. If you say “I once broke my elbow roller skating and it hurt pretty bad,” nobody is going to know that wasn’t actually your lowest point. I’d guess most teenagers have a shareable version of a traumatic event–grandparents dying, a failing grade on a test, a sick friend-- that sort of thing. I would be pretty shocked if a stupid icebreaker is all it takes to induce a fifteen year old into sharing deeply personal information that they are not actually comfortable talking about. There is a type of kid that would take the command seriously, and have trouble basically lying, especially without any time to think. Honest to god, I don’t know why people always go for the superlatives in these things: requesting they tell about “a traumatic event” would have had all the same benefits and none of the pressure. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/42 "2014-09-04T03:40:05Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I mean, it’s not like you have to tell the truth. If you say “I once broke my elbow roller skating and it hurt pretty bad,” nobody is going to know that wasn’t actually your lowest point. I’d guess most teenagers have a shareable version of a traumatic event–grandparents dying, a failing grade on a test, a sick friend-- that sort of thing. I would be pretty shocked if a stupid icebreaker is all it takes to induce a fifteen year old into sharing deeply personal information that they are not actually comfortable talking about. When I was around that age a classmate revealed during a class discussion that she’d been molested by a family member as a child. I don’t remember the exact context now – it was an English class and I assume sexual abuse came up in whatever book we were reading – but it definitely didn’t involve such specific a prompting as the teacher describing her own sexual abuse and asking students to share similar stories about their own worst experiences. I _do_ remember that when everyone was leaving at the end of class the teacher asked this girl if she was okay, and I heard her say that she was embarrassed and wished she hadn’t said anything about it. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/43 "2014-09-04T05:12:39Z")
What would happen if one of the kids said, “It’s none of your business,” or just stared at the teacher and said nothing? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/44 "2014-09-04T06:52:21Z")
Personally, I don’t think victims of rape and abuse should ever feel compelled to hide what happened to them. They should feel comfortable in knowing that it wasn’t their fault, it was something traumatic that happened to them, like the death of a loved one of surviving leukaemia, and telling people about it should be OK, not lead to social rejection. But there’s appropriate forums for that sort of sharing, and this really wasn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/45 "2014-09-04T08:05:35Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > … I was teaching English conversation to college students. I’d sometimes address heavy stuff because it as one of the few ways to get my students to speak spontaneously, rather than with reversed phrases… Yoda-English you taught? ---
**Author:** ![JacobSwan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@JacobSwan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacobSwan)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/46 "2014-09-04T09:53:17Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > This would be perfect for a Geometry class! > > As to the OP, this happened in an \*Algebra \*class!?!? It’s wrong in so many ways. If it was a trigonometry class you might expect them to go off on a tangent. One of my sons teachers ran the after school chess club and gave all the members a book called ‘hardcore pawn’ at Xmas. It was a chess book, but with a pun title. A few parents complained and he got sacked. Heaven knows what those parents would have done in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/47 "2014-09-04T10:25:37Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > The only suitable reply to such an “icebreaker” is “I got to my first day of algebra class, and my idiot teacher told us a horrible story about the worst thing that had ever happened to her, and expected us to do the same.” > [@silenus](#): > > Totally out of place. Ice-breakers are supposed to be light and fun, not something to tell your therapist. > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Totally out of bounds. I’d talk to the principal. > [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > I think you should write a letter to the Superintendent and Principal. That “icebreaker” was totally inappropriate, and I would not want that teacher interacting with my children. As a teacher with 27 years experience, I agree with all the above. My ice-breakers involve cheerfulness and chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/48 "2014-09-04T10:29:48Z")
> [@JacobSwan](#): > > One of my sons teachers ran the after school chess club and gave all the members a book called ‘hardcore pawn’ at Xmas. It was a chess book, but with a pun title. A few parents complained and he got sacked. Heaven knows what those parents would have done in this situation. I think that book was probably ‘Soft Pawn’ by William Hartston - a very funny book and totally appropriate for children. The parents you mention probably think a pediatrician is a child abuser or that devilled eggs involves worshipping Satan. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/49 "2014-09-04T10:42:24Z")
Way way WAY over the line, and I would be on to the principal in a heartbeat. It’s a teacher’s job to reinforce the concept that kids or teenagers have personal boundaries and are entitled to maintain them. Not to try and blow those boundaries away by implying that they don’t or shouldn’t exist. I despise the idea that the only reason anyone would keep anything private is because they’re ashamed of it, so everyone should be urged to share absolutely everything with absolutely everyone on command, for their own sakes. There’s a huge difference between shameful and private, and some things, while not remotely shameful, are private. I want my kids to know that - in part to protect them from predators. A teacher working against that concept…I would be livid. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/50 "2014-09-04T10:56:31Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > What would happen if one of the kids said, “It’s none of your business,” or just stared at the teacher and said nothing? “I’ll say this much, Ms Johnson. Mine makes yours sound like happy time.” ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/51 "2014-09-04T12:01:24Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > What would happen if one of the kids said, “It’s none of your business,” or just stared at the teacher and said nothing? I suspect absolutely nothing. However, the problem is that many kids would lack the sense of presence it takes to do that, especially when put on the spot. The other problem with just lying, and telling a bad-but-not-personal thing is that you can feel like you are being untrue to yourself. I mean, at 14, if the worst thing that had happened to me was a friends’ suicide, say, I would have felt it was . . . disloyal . . .not to bring it up, as if that were saying my friends’ death didn’t hurt me. I know that’s crazy talk, but at 14 it would have made sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/52 "2014-09-04T12:04:28Z")
Whatever happened to asking what everyones favorite flavor of ice cream is or favorite fast food? I think some people have this sick desire to get others to reveal dark secrets. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/53 "2014-09-04T12:14:54Z")
This woman is not qualified to be a teacher. Maybe she knows her algebra, but it takes more than that. Apparently she has no idea that this topic is inappropriate for discussion under the circumstances, no idea what an icebreaker is, and no idea that students shouldn’t be pressured to reveal personal details of their life of this nature. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/54 "2014-09-04T12:25:54Z")
_\_ Um, teacher? Doesn’t ice like, melt, if we just wait a little? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/55 "2014-09-04T12:29:20Z")
This sounds like the plot of a sitcom episode that I might quite enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/56 "2014-09-04T12:35:48Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > What would happen if one of the kids said, “It’s none of your business,” or just stared at the teacher and said nothing? That would happen now and then in my classes, and I would say “Thank you for being honest, and it’s very brave of you to speak up. The floor is yours for the next few minutes-- what would you like to talk about instead?” Often this was the start of some of my best classroom discussions. Memorably, I often had students refuse to do current events (this was in China) out of frustration with how the news is censored. But again, this was always prefaced by months of building trust and working through ground rules so that my students felt safe, free to speak up and confidant that they were speaking in a safe, supportive space. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/57 "2014-09-04T12:39:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > “I’ll say this much, Ms Johnson. Mine makes yours sound like happy time.” Considering how kids at that age generally want to fit in, the kid with the worst story, and the kid whose story is the most “first world,” if you know what I mean, are probably going to go away feeling terrible. And the kid who has to go first is really going to sweat wondering how his story is going to play in relation to the ones to come. The person who goes last is going to have lots of time to decide to lie, in order to have a story in the middle of the bell curve, at least. I’ll bet the teacher was looking for a variant on “Most Embarrassing Moment,” that gets used a lot, and got it really wrong, missing the humorous element in “embarrassing,” and the fact that most people don’t mind telling those stories, as long as it didn’t happen yesterday. She should have gone for “What’s the luckiest thing that ever happened to you?” which could be anything from finding money, to winning a prize, to not getting caught sneaking in late, or “What’s something you _hope_ never happens?” that gives a kid a chance to build on a real bad experience with an “at least not,” be funny by saying they hope they never get sent on a mission from G-d, because no one will ever believe them, or share a very real, albeit unrealistic fear. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/58 "2014-09-04T14:31:45Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > My kids just started the school year yesterday and evidently there had been an edict handed down that the teachers should conduct some sort of ice-breaker with their kids in each class on the first day. My son, who is 15, said that one of his teachers asked the kids to describe the worst thing that had ever happened to them. She kicked it off by telling the class that she was a victim of rape and childhood sexual abuse. I think this was a terrible icebreaker idea. But someone who came from an abusive childhood may not know what is appropriate in social norms. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/59 "2014-09-04T14:58:39Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > I think this was a terrible icebreaker idea. But someone who came from an abusive childhood may not know what is appropriate in social norms. I’d buy that excuse for a teen or a college student, but this is a fully qualified teacher, who has a graduate degree, has done student teaching, and presumably did some subbing for a while before finding a permanent job, and is at the very youngest maybe 27, not to mention someone who sought out working with the public as a career, and has a responsibility to deal with her personal baggage appropriately, and learn how the rest of the world works. However it happened, she messed up. But the admin, who dictated “ice-breakers, and be original” bears some responsibility. ---
**Author:** ![tullsterx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tullsterx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tullsterx)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2014, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403/60 "2014-09-04T15:13:18Z")
Yeah, I think that’s crazy. “Hey, let’s break the ice! I was brutally raped as a child!” that sounds like a crazy inappropriate SNL character or something. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-think-of-this-classroom-icebreaker/697403.md?page=4)