# What do you usually read while you're taking a dump?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [July 24, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173 "2009-07-24T23:52:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/1 "2009-07-24T23:52:29Z")
Those Bathroom Readers are actually pretty good. I have about six of 'em in there.
---
### Author:  [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/2 "2009-07-24T23:53:21Z")
My Kindle.
---
### Author:  [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/3 "2009-07-24T23:54:13Z")
Sometimes I’ll pretend like I’m going to read in there, but I’m so fast I never get a chance to crack the cover. I mean, I am like _that_, son- over and out! My colon is like a finely-tuned instrument.
---
### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/4 "2009-07-24T23:54:53Z")
Gardening magazines/books
---
### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/5 "2009-07-25T00:04:26Z")
If I have my laptop, then it’s generally either Facebook or the SDMB. If not, then I keep the latest Reader’s Digest on top of the tank.
---
### Author:  [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/6 "2009-07-25T00:22:55Z")
In no way I am I now wondering whether **Hal** was actually on the crapper when he posted that.
Me, I’m in and out in seconds. Eat more vegetables, people.
---
### Author:  [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/7 "2009-07-25T01:13:57Z")
I do agree that the amount of fruit and vegetables in one’s diet has a remarkable effect on the length of time spent in the little reading room. It’s astonishing how short one’s visits are with adequate fibre.
However, for longer visits, I usually have an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader (and yes, I do like finding the mistakes in the books) and a Glamour magazine, along with something non-fiction to edify myself.
---
### Author:  [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/8 "2009-07-25T01:15:42Z")
Okay, after a vodka or two, I will admit that opening the doors under the bathroom sink in just the right way allows one to settle one’s laptop computer upon the top edges.
I have perused these message boards while performing necessary funcions.
---
### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/9 "2009-07-25T01:35:44Z")
My book of N. Y. Times crosswords. They cause me to sit there way longer than I need to.
---
### Author:  [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/10 "2009-07-25T01:36:50Z")
This thread is making me feel a little bit better about some of the depraved things that I do. Surfing the web while pooing? You people are sick.
---
### Author:  [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/11 "2009-07-25T01:47:24Z")
Really not in there long enough to think of needing reading material. I guess I’d get bored after a couple of minutes and start thinking how much I need to scrub the tub.
---
### Author:  [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/12 "2009-07-25T02:07:04Z")
I used to keep a stack of pulp science fiction books on the back of the tank. Now I just whip out my smartphone and read whatever is in the browser. I haven’t posted to SDMB yet while perched on the throne, but I have read it from there…TRM (who finds that reading really helps open up the old sluices.)
---
### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/13 "2009-07-25T03:37:24Z")
Mostly, _Fortean Times_, _Trains_ or _Aeroplane Monthly_.
---
### Author:  [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/14 "2009-07-25T03:43:17Z")
I like the concept, but, usually, it doesn’t take me any longer to poop than to pee and I like it that way.
---
### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/15 "2009-07-25T04:24:15Z")
I find that the New York Times Book Review is um, stimulating reading, particularly when I see that Mark Levin and Bill O’Reilly are still near the top of the bestseller list.
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#):
>
> Really not in there long enough to think of needing reading material. I guess I’d get bored after a couple of minutes and start thinking how much I need to scrub the tub.
Based on this thread I wonder how many laptops need scrubbing.
---
### Author:  [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/16 "2009-07-25T05:22:28Z")
Shampoo bottles.
By the time I’ve figured out which syllables to stress when pronouncing words like “Methylchloroisothiazolinone”, I’m done.
---
### Author:  [@The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Universe_Lashes_Out)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/17 "2009-07-25T05:32:21Z")
Wow, I thought I was quick, but some of you have me easily beat. I read Sports Illustrated. It usually takes me about a week’s worth of pooping to get through an issue, so it works out perfectly.
---
### Author:  [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/18 "2009-07-25T05:43:47Z")
The Bible. I have a pocket copy of the New Testament. I can usually get through a chapter.
---
### Author:  [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/19 "2009-07-25T08:55:15Z")
I mostly never have to stay that long but at certain times of the month I can get diahrrea. I keep _People_ magazines in the drawer of the bath cabinet.
A couple months ago I was having a bad time and pulled out a mag from 2000. It listed some shows that were premiering in that week and one of them was _CSI_(original). The review was pretty bad and they didn’t expect the show to last a season.
That’s why I keep _People Weekly_ in the bathroom.
---
### Author:  [@gladtobeblazed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gladtobeblazed)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2009, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173/20 "2009-07-25T09:24:55Z")
> [@Shamozzle](#):
>
> Shampoo bottles.
>
> By the time I’ve figured out which syllables to stress when pronouncing words like “Methylchloroisothiazolinone”, I’m done.
Same here. Shampoo, soap, deodorant, whatever is within reach. Sometimes I read my text messages.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-usually-read-while-youre-taking-a-dump/504173.md?page=2)