# What do you want as your epitaph? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 22, 2017, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011 "2017-09-22T23:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/21 "2017-09-23T03:03:34Z")
“Gone! Gone! The form of man. Rise, the Demon Etrigan!” “That is not dead which can eternal lie.” “valar morghulis” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/22 "2017-09-23T03:15:44Z")
Fuck off! ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/23 "2017-09-23T03:22:50Z")
“I’ve had worse.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/24 "2017-09-23T03:28:49Z")
“Missing-Presumed Dead” ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/25 "2017-09-23T03:38:56Z")
“Cite?” 😃 Since I plan to be cremated, my epitaph carved in wood, will go up in flames as well. Or maybe someone with write it on a piece of paper, fold the paper into an airplane and fly it into the flames. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/26 "2017-09-23T07:12:41Z")
Family’s mausoleum doesn’t get epitaphs, just names, and I hope my eulogy is just the day’s regular sermon. Either that or a priest who knows me well enough to pepper the day’s sermon with references to Princess Bride, Star Wars, LotR, Alatriste, the X-Men… while not actually coming out and saying anything directly about me. None of that soapy “beloved daughter”, “wonderful aunt”, etc. which basically reads like they’ve taken your resume and dunked it into spun sugar. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/27 "2017-09-23T08:14:15Z")
Lots of potential for humorous replies here (seen a few already). In fact, I was tempted to go with one myself and post one that is complementary to _ **jaycat’s** _ response “Free Private Sessions _In Your Pocket_” More seriously I just want it to be “Dad” Or I guess “how the hell could you not know that” ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/28 "2017-09-23T09:58:35Z")
“Mourn not my death; enjoy your life.” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/29 "2017-09-23T10:37:20Z")
“He was a useless waste of space and we’re glad to be rid of the miserable bastard.” Oh wait, maybe that should be saved for my idiot housemate. Maybe something like “Unpublished.” ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/30 "2017-09-23T13:29:20Z")
Hm, for my brother I used a line from a [Warren Zevon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KjRLq4uF4Ahttp://) song - “Keep me in your heart for a while” My Mom and Dad got a line from [Rumi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumi)- “Love is from the infinite and will remain until eternity” I didn’t want any of the standard Christian quotes that are seriously overused. Ugh. My parents weren’t cookie cutter anything. I will have a small memorial stone at the family plot, not sure what I want as an epitaph yet, but my cremains along with mrAru’s are going into a [TDU can](http://americanhistory.si.edu/subs/operating/aboard/leisure/index.html) and being dropped into an abyssal. ---
**Author:** ![Covfefe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/31 "2017-09-23T14:07:42Z")
“No longer a fictional composition” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/32 "2017-09-23T14:21:57Z")
“Something wry and warm and clever and philosophical.” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/33 "2017-09-23T14:29:32Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > Lots of potential for humorous replies here (seen a few already). In fact, I was tempted to go with one myself and post one that is complementary to _ **jaycat’s** _ response > “Free Private Sessions _In Your Pocket_” > More seriously I just want it to be “Dad” > > Or I guess “how the hell could you not know that” Mine may have been humorous, but it’s also totally serious. It’s in my will. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/34 "2017-09-23T14:32:03Z")
Please disregard ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/35 "2017-09-23T20:33:46Z")
Mine’s already decided, since it’s a group headstone. My mom is there so far. I am all at once what Christ is, since he was what I am… Immortal diamond. And the bonus is the saying on the memorial cards. Mom’s was the expanded section of the above In a flash, at a trumpet crash, I am all at once what Christ is, since he was what I am, and This Jack, joke, poor potsherd, patch, matchwood, immortal diamond, Is immortal diamond. I am debating between Made like Him Like Him we rise Ours the cross, the grave, the skies and Leonard Cohen I’ll stand before the Lord of song With nothing on my tongue but alleluia ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/36 "2017-09-23T22:39:47Z")
“I told you I wasn’t a hypochondriac”.\* \*credit: James Herold, author of “The Happy Hypochondriac” (1962). ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/37 "2017-09-23T22:49:08Z")
Gold buried here (I’d still like to get out now and then) ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/38 "2017-09-23T23:21:46Z")
“Why am I in this hand basket?” Sent from my K92 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/39 "2017-09-23T23:51:36Z")
“Well, _this_ sucks.” ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/40 "2017-09-23T23:52:09Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Mine may have been humorous, but it’s also totally serious. It’s in my will. Actually, I rather like your choice for an epitaph. It feels, mmm, suitablely smartassed, something I might have picked for myself, tempted to steal it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011.md?page=3)