# What do you want as your epitaph? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 22, 2017, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011 "2017-09-22T23:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DrForrester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@DrForrester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrForrester)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/41 "2017-09-24T02:26:35Z")
George Carlin talked about how cold hearted it was to pull someone out of your address book as soon as he dropped dead. But, eventually, well, facts are facts… So, George would give them 6 weeks. Seems about right to me. If there’s anyone around who is remotely sad at my passing, you can have 6 weeks. Then, hey, facts are facts. Time to haul my corpse out to the trash & get on with life. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/42 "2017-09-24T05:15:16Z")
“Died without regrets. You can, too” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/43 "2017-09-24T07:41:21Z")
Decided to change mine to “But wait, there’s more…” Sent from my K92 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/44 "2017-09-24T10:06:27Z")
_A gathering of angels appeared above my head_ The weird thing is, I’m not even that much of a Styx fan. But I’ve been pretty much settled on this line for a couple of decades now. There’s a great line in Florence + the Machine’s “Ship to Wreck” that _someone_ needs to use for an epitaph, but someone else, since I’ve already got mine: _I can’t help but pull the earth around me to make my bed_ ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/45 "2017-09-24T10:50:38Z")
He found himself trying. (I won’t have a marker, but when my loved ones spread my ashes, I suspect they will share stories that will attest to that assertion. Hopefully on all the levels it might be read.) ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/46 "2017-09-24T10:59:19Z")
I want the stone to say: “pullin” “\ – \” Below that: “He made the most of the dash.” with an arrow pointing up to it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/47 "2017-09-24T11:15:51Z")
I plan to be cremated and has my ashes scattered at my parent’s grave, but if I had to have one, I think I’d chose “He did What He Could” ---
**Author:** ![LegendHasit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/legendhasit/32/8246_2.png) [@LegendHasit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LegendHasit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2017, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/48 "2017-09-24T13:09:37Z")
404 Not Found ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/49 "2017-09-25T00:12:29Z")
Wasn’t planning on having one, but in the spirit of things: Ede, bibe, lude. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/50 "2017-09-25T00:26:53Z")
Smile (I just am not into any sadness that can be refused or avoided) ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/51 "2017-09-25T00:35:45Z")
" Hard to believe but there usually was something to what he was trying to say" ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/52 "2017-09-25T01:06:10Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > Actually, I rather like your choice for an epitaph. > It feels, mmm, suitablely smartassed, something I might have picked for myself, tempted to steal it. Since I doubt we’ll be buried in the same cemetery, you are welcome to use it. I totally thought it up myself, when I was picnicking in a cemetery not far off from a sign that said “no picnicking.” My friend I was with said that was just wrong, and he’d want people to picnic on him. In fact, instead of a headstone, he was going to have a picnic table. I said I thought I’d have a dance floor, because anyone who wanted to dance on my grave was welcome. Then we both agreed that we didn’t want people to spit, even if it would be an eff-you to convention, or whatever, just, “no spitting.” It’s gross. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/53 "2017-09-25T18:53:32Z")
I have no intention of being buried, but this does give me an idea… In my will I’ll direct that a standard grave be dug in the family plot and the removed dirt be spread wide around it. An empty, open coffin shall be filled with chains and padlocks before being lowered therein. A memorial stone will be erected with my name and the epitaph: Houdini was a piker ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/54 "2017-09-25T20:06:13Z")
The best I can hope for is “He was an asshole, but he was a funny asshole.” ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2017, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/55 "2017-09-25T20:21:59Z")
Whadda YOU lookin’ at? Get off me, ya mook! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/56 "2017-09-26T18:33:25Z")
“I did not take that Flintstone vitamin, and I did not quit my job because Deana told me to.” Make 'em wonder. 🙂 On the other hand, “No spitting” is pretty snappy. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/57 "2017-09-26T18:38:03Z")
My favorite line from (the River) Styx: And Lord, I’ll try the best that I can to carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/58 "2017-09-26T19:52:18Z")
It’s too long, but I like Robert Louis Stevenson’s epitaph- > [@](#): > > - > > Under the wide and starry sky > Dig the grave and let me lie. > Glad did I live and gladly die, > And I laid me down with a will. > > This be the verse you grave for me; > “Here he lies where he longed to be, > Home is the sailor, home from sea, > And the hunter home from the hill.”\* Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/59 "2017-09-26T20:12:35Z")
I had a fond musing of _As you push off from the shore Won’t you turn your head once more And make your peace with everyone For those who chose to stay Will live just one more day To do the things they should have done_ But would be satisfied with “_Did you notice? I bet you didn’t._” ---
**Author:** ![epolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@epolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epolo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2017, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/60 "2017-09-26T21:46:01Z")
“Be right back” Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011.md?page=4)