# What do you want as your epitaph? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 22, 2017, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011 "2017-09-22T23:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/61 "2017-10-04T13:45:45Z")
The epitaph of the dead at Thermopylae is hard to beat: _Tell them in Sparta, passerby, that here, obedient to their laws, we lie_ My dad was on the board of our local cemetery association for many years. His favorite headstone, by a widower for his late wife in the early 1900s, was: _Forty years with a tongue so sharp O angels, give her a harp!_ My own epitaph will probably just be my name and birth and death years. ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/62 "2017-10-04T16:40:59Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Actually, I just want to be cremated and my ashes spread on a golf course. My plan is to have my ashes scattered in a particular sand trap on a particular golf course. I already spent an eternity there, so I figure it’ll feel homey. I also figure, as that sand trap is near the hole, with the assistance of numerous golfers I’ll eventually be on the green. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/63 "2017-10-04T17:00:05Z")
I don’t know. I notice that at least one of the journals I published in has disappeared, hardly anybody knows about, and my work in it isn’t cited even where it’s relevant. Seeing that, it’s hard to beat the classics: > [@](#): > > **Look Upon my Works, Ye Mighty, and Despair!** ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/64 "2017-10-04T17:35:11Z")
“A man was born … He lived and he died!” From [this _Peanuts_ strip](http://home.assets.gocomics.com/peanuts/1958/09/28), which is linked in [this old thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663581) ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/65 "2017-10-04T18:27:32Z")
“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse.” ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/66 "2017-10-04T19:53:02Z")
“She made a difference” ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/67 "2017-10-05T01:59:20Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > … Regards, > Shodan Yeah, that could work. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/68 "2017-10-05T13:09:44Z")
A finger in the water. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/69 "2017-10-05T21:40:49Z")
Vidi, Vici, Veni. I saw, I conquered, I came. 😃 In all likelihood I won’t have a gravestone at all so this is more for the humour than anything (such as it is.) A reading of of [Mary Elizabeth Frye](https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/do-not-stand-at-my-grave-and-weep/) will suffice as I scatter to the wind and wave. ---
**Author:** ![Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delicious)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/70 "2017-10-05T22:21:01Z")
“Died as he lived, in a woodchipper” ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/71 "2017-10-05T22:40:50Z")
wait, 70 posts in and still nobody had submitted “Get Off My Lawn” ? ---
**Author:** ![AppallingGael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@AppallingGael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AppallingGael)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2017, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/72 "2017-10-06T07:38:18Z")
Rock on ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/73 "2017-10-08T01:17:02Z")
“Look out behind you!” ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/74 "2017-10-08T01:57:53Z")
Maybe my 1x3x9 grave marker will read: “It’s full of stars” > [@DSeid](#): > > I’ve settled on the following for myself: > > “A curious person who mostly reached his potential.” Mine actually might be closer to: I wish, but I’m not nearly there. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/75 "2017-10-08T02:12:29Z")
“When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth” ---
**Author:** ![LongTimeLurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@LongTimeLurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LongTimeLurker)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/76 "2017-10-08T05:58:58Z")
“The best example he ever set was what not to do with your life.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/77 "2017-10-08T07:24:42Z")
Sausage, olives and mushrooms. What? Sorry, I read the question as “_What do you want on your Tombstone?_” ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/78 "2017-10-08T07:39:17Z")
“Death, I welcome your cold embrace, release from this fever called life.” (A phrase I came up with around 1996. I’m rather proud of it.) In reality, there will be no grave, so no epitaph, which is fine by me. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2017, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/79 "2017-10-08T07:41:13Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > “This page left intentionally blank.” Say what now? I could go the Harry Dresden route: “He died doing the right thing.”, but it’s questionable that I’ll ever stick that landing. I don’t much care for my adopted state, and often gratuitously and irrationally blame all my misfortune upon it. I’ve often said that my epitaph would be, “Fucking” then the name of my state. Here Lies Face Intentionally Left Blank Fucking (state) or possibly: “Well, that was the long way around just to end up here.” ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2017, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011/80 "2017-10-09T04:53:43Z")
_Don’t just stand there! Get me the hell out of here!_ ``` or ``` _HELP!_ ``` or ``` \*You too, one day \* > [@Chefguy](#): > > “Well, _this_ sucks.” It’s been [done.](https://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=42738690) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-as-your-epitaph/797011.md?page=5)