# What do you want on that - pepperoni or penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2007, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442 "2007-04-24T12:52:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/1 "2007-04-24T12:52:35Z")
[Man bursts into Pizza restaurant in London](http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007180857,00.html) and cuts his own dick off. > [@](#): > > Sales rep Stuart McMahon, who was eating supper with his girlfriend, said: “This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about. > > “Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out. Then he cut it off. I couldn’t believe it. > > “The staff were really upset and there was blood everywhere.” Was he protesting the lack of variety in toppings? ---
**Author:** ![Montgomery0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Montgomery0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montgomery0)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/2 "2007-04-24T13:23:44Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] [Man bursts into Pizza restaurant in London](http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007180857,00.html) and cuts his own dick off.Was he protesting the lack of variety in toppings? [/QUOTE] I’m thinking he’s going to be real upset when the hangover wears off. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/3 "2007-04-24T13:26:53Z")
talk about a case of “penis ensued” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/4 "2007-04-24T13:34:19Z")
I hate it when that happens. Here in the States, we solved the problem of random talley whackers ruining our evenings by instituting the glorious system of home and office delivery of our pizzas. Within this wonderful system, all the gross things that go on and around our pizzas happen before we ever see the pizza. That way, we can eat our blood and fecal matter topped pies with peace of mind. You Englisher guys are so uncivilised. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/5 "2007-04-24T13:39:55Z")
It’s gonna be _girlfriend/wife rejection_, isn’t it? It usually is. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/6 "2007-04-24T13:47:59Z")
_Big sausage pizza_, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/7 "2007-04-24T13:51:19Z")
Might it have been a promotional stunt for the new _coq au vin_ pizza. (Or should that actually be _coq au sang_?) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/8 "2007-04-24T13:54:12Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] _Big sausage pizza_, indeed. [/QUOTE] The guy was Polish, so presumably that would be “one pizza with kielbasa - to go!” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/9 "2007-04-24T13:58:27Z")
I think they need to surgically re-attach an anchovy and two pineapples. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/10 "2007-04-24T14:08:05Z")
The thing that cracks me up most about the story is that “Zizzi” (the name of the restaurant) is French childrens’ slang for penis (kind of like wee-wee in English). I wonder if that’s why he chose that location? ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/11 "2007-04-24T15:45:40Z")
The [BBC article](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm) suggests the surgeons were unable to reattach. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/12 "2007-04-24T16:33:23Z")
Unanswered Questions Department: Was he shallow, or deep dish? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/13 "2007-04-24T16:40:42Z")
[QUOTE=One And Only Wanderers] The [BBC article](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm) suggests the surgeons were unable to reattach. [/QUOTE] Penis un-sewed. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/14 "2007-04-24T16:51:51Z")
[QUOTE=One And Only Wanderers] The [BBC article](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm) suggests the surgeons were unable to reattach. [/QUOTE] Which technically qualifies him for a rare living Darwin Award. He’ll probably be committed to a psych hospital after he recovers. I wonder what they’ll do with him on pizza day… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/15 "2007-04-24T17:02:22Z")
Step one: Cut off my own penis Step two: Not really sure about this part Step three: BIG PROFIT! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/16 "2007-04-24T17:05:42Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Which technically qualifies him for a rare living Darwin Award. He’ll probably be committed to a psych hospital after he recovers. I wonder what they’ll do with him on pizza day… [/QUOTE] He’s in the UK. Serve him spotted dick. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/17 "2007-04-24T17:12:04Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] Step one: Cut off my own penis Step two: Not really sure about this part Step three: BIG PROFIT! [/QUOTE] Aha variation of the Bobbett plan. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/18 "2007-04-24T17:14:55Z")
No, no, that’s _Pecorino_! I said I wanted some Pecorino on my pizza! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/19 "2007-04-24T17:16:11Z")
Perhaps he thought they could upsize him? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/20 "2007-04-24T17:26:18Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] The thing that cracks me up most about the story is that “Zizzi” (the name of the restaurant) is French childrens’ slang for penis (kind of like wee-wee in English). I wonder if that’s why he chose that location? [/QUOTE] Since _zizi_ (only two z’s) is French babytalk for vagina, maybe he had sexual reassignment in mind. Of course, had he been in West Bend, WI, he might have selected [Dick’s Pizza](http://local.yahoo.com/details?id=16695997)…or in the Lake Tahoe area, any of several [Nik’n’ Willie’s Pizza](http://laketahoe.citysearch.com/profile/38047265/south_lake_tahoe_ca/nik_n_willie_s_pizza.html) locations in which to nick his willy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442.md?page=2)