# What do you want on that - pepperoni or penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2007, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442 "2007-04-24T12:52:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/21 "2007-04-24T18:22:23Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] I said I wanted some Pecorino on my pizza! [/QUOTE] Too bad. You get Manchovy. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/22 "2007-04-24T18:51:20Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] Penis un-sewed. [/QUOTE] Just wanted to let you know this didn’t go by unnoticed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/23 "2007-04-24T19:06:56Z")
> [@](#): > > She said: "At around 9pm on Sunday, a man walked into the Zizzi restaurant on The Strand, down the stairs to the basement restaurant area and tried to enter a kitchen. > > "Members of staff stopped him, at which he ran into a second kitchen area. > > "The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself. I’m only half joking here: I hope it was one of the cheap, restaurant owned kitchen knives, and not one of the chef’s personal knives! Of course, any knife will clean, but can you imagine picking up your $500 Wusthoff and seeing THAT play over and over again in your mind’s eye? Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/24 "2007-04-24T19:35:35Z")
It would make an interesting insurance claim. The knife was rendered useless? Yes, that is correct. How so? Well a crazy man snatched it from the kitchen and cut off his penis with it. Does it still cut? Well, yes it does, but I can’t use it. Why not, you can just wash it. Ok, I’ll make you a sandwich with it, and you eat it. Ummm… we’ll pay for to replace it sir. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/25 "2007-04-24T19:40:02Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself? [/QUOTE] I am, in all honesty, still debating with myself about this. (I _really like_ my knives.) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/26 "2007-04-24T19:45:17Z")
I’ll have the pepperoni please. I prefer penis that is still attatched to the original, preferably not insane, owner. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/27 "2007-04-24T19:51:48Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself? [/QUOTE] [Wow, you really can wusthoff a 5 inch boner.](http://www.cutleryandmore.com/details.asp?SKU=5789) ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/28 "2007-04-24T19:53:30Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Which technically qualifies him for a rare living Darwin Award. He’ll probably be committed to a psych hospital after he recovers. I wonder what they’ll do with him on pizza day… [/QUOTE] But if he’s still got the ability to produce sperm, then they could be acquired and a test tube baby made. I think it’s more of an “honorable mention” award myself. ETA: Yes, **Whynot** , I would. I might use the technique **Zebra** mentions to get a tax write off for a replacement though. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/29 "2007-04-24T19:54:06Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself? [/QUOTE] Hells no! It would go up on my wall - with a sign! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/30 "2007-04-24T19:59:32Z")
[QUOTE=Zabali\_Clawbane] I might use the technique **Zebra** mentions to get a tax write off for a replacement though. [/QUOTE] Er, I mean insurance write off. Dratted allergies, this Sudafed is knocking me out. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/31 "2007-04-24T20:03:11Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] [QUOTE=jjimm] Penis un-sewed. [/QUOTE] Just wanted to let you know this didn’t go by unnoticed. 😃 [/QUOTE] Indeed. That joke was a cut above the rest. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/32 "2007-04-24T20:06:26Z")
CMPOL . ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/33 "2007-04-24T20:09:39Z")
If he’d been a real man he’d have done this at Benihanas and made a smoking manmeat volcano. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/34 "2007-04-24T20:16:21Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I’m only half joking here: I hope it was one of the cheap, restaurant owned kitchen knives, and not one of the chef’s personal knives! Of course, any knife will clean, but can you imagine picking up your $500 Wusthoff and seeing THAT play over and over again in your mind’s eye? Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it from your kitchen to de-penis himself? [/QUOTE] That’s what you get for buying those overpriced “premium” knives. :rolleyes: If the knife in question had been from the Miracle Blade III Perfection Series, or even the Showtime collection by Ronco, not only would the owner have saved over $400, the knife would still have sliced cleanly through a tomato afterwards! “You could even cut your own penis off with it…_but you wouldn’t want to_!” [/smarmy infomercial guy] ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/35 "2007-04-24T20:23:21Z")
“Waiter? Check please!” ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/36 "2007-04-24T22:46:11Z")
[QUOTE=Zabali\_Clawbane] But if he’s still got the ability to produce sperm, then they could be acquired and a test tube baby made. I think it’s more of an “honorable mention” award myself. [/quote] True enough. He would have to have brought the knife down a little lower to finish the job. Then we could add meatballs to that pizza. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/37 "2007-04-24T23:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Would you toss your favorite $500 knife if some bozo snatched it [/QUOTE] Such unfortunate choices of words. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/38 "2007-04-25T00:31:18Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] Since _zizi_ (only two z’s) is French babytalk for vagina, maybe he had sexual reassignment in mind. Of course, had he been in West Bend, WI, he might have selected [Dick’s Pizza](http://local.yahoo.com/details?id=16695997)…or in the Lake Tahoe area, any of several [Nik’n’ Willie’s Pizza](http://laketahoe.citysearch.com/profile/38047265/south_lake_tahoe_ca/nik_n_willie_s_pizza.html) locations in which to nick his willy. [/QUOTE] I have never heard “zizi” used as slang for vagina… here in Quebec, it would be understood to mean penis. Which is exactly why I cracked up when I saw the picture of the restaurant in the first link. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/39 "2007-04-25T14:44:47Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] CMPOL . [/QUOTE] Cutting My Penis Off Laughing? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442/40 "2007-04-25T15:06:07Z")
[QUOTE=Montgomery0] I’m thinking he’s going to be real upset when the hangover wears off. [/QUOTE] I think his _hangover_ has been permanently reduced. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-on-that-pepperoni-or-penis/401442.md?page=3)