# What do you want people to say about you at your funeral? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 9, 2026, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529 "2026-07-09T00:58:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/21 "2026-07-09T14:20:59Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > We’ve sort of hijacked a serious OP into joke territory Oh either are okay. Though jokes that are in fact truth are preferred to the just silly? The point of the exercise as my wife shared it is to have us evaluate how we are living. And of course it can be serious and goofy both. So for you, @Moriarty, and @GuanoLad , you content with the current state of your relationships? Some of the joke ones really seem to focus around that it would be nice to be living a life that will have us remembered by “They knew how to have and be fun!” Honestly since I suspect it will mostly kids and hopefully by then grandkids memorializing me, I think that’s at least as good of a goal to have what they’d say as the first thoughts I had - that I was a person they could depend on, or my desire to be the best me I could be? Probably as important a guide moving forward? Neither eclipsing the other but maybe I should prioritize the fun part a bit more than I do. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/22 "2026-07-09T15:22:13Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Men crying shamelessly, women wailing and hurling themselves at my coffin, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments. Wouldn’t be the first funeral with people hired to do just that! > [@LSLGuy](#): > > The Dopers won’t be at my funeral, but they’ll probably be the best eulogizers if there’s ever a memorial thread for me here. There are some of us who would just stop posting with no notice ever given to the community here about our demise. Have you instructed your GF to notify us if something were to happen to you? Alternatively, you could start a thread asking us to memorialize you while you’re still here to read it. I’m pretty sure my entry would begin, “That SOB…” 😯 ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/23 "2026-07-09T15:25:21Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I’d like to be remembered for having been good at my jobs, good at my hobbies, good to my spouses & GFs, and generally dedicated to making the world a little better as I went along. You left out being a being a solid, reliable, irreverent friend~those are precious few on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/24 "2026-07-09T15:28:17Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > So for you, @Moriarty…you content with the current state of your relationships? My lack of close relationships is pathological and doesn’t correlate with a long life. I’d prefer a big family. > [@Spiderman](#): > > There are some of us who would just stop posting with no notice ever given to the community here about our demise. I’ve been wondering about @kayaker . He was pretty prolific, and never missed a good party. ---
**Author:** ![Thumper668](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thumper668/32/20803_2.png) [@Thumper668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thumper668)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/25 "2026-07-09T15:28:49Z")
I really don’t care what happens at my funeral since I won’t be there, but I suppose I’d like at least one person to acknowledge that fact. I do care what people think of me while I am still alive though, so here is a list of those: - He gives more than he takes - He made my life a little better - He’s a good sailor - He’s kind to animals - He’s kind to people ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/26 "2026-07-09T16:04:01Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I also want a lovely mysterious woman in a black veil , standing off to the side, and at the end, she puts a single rose on the grave. I have just the thing for you: [Dark Secret](https://uncrate.com/dark-secret-mysterious-woman-funeral-service/) ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/27 "2026-07-09T16:17:33Z")
You left one thing out: she must be holding a black parasol, preferably one that matches the veil! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/28 "2026-07-09T16:36:35Z")
“Well, he _did_ say he wasn’t feeling well.” No church funeral. Anyone who tries to do that will be haunted by my ghost and infested with boils. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/29 "2026-07-09T17:06:17Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > > [@Spiderman](#): > > > > There are some of us who would just stop posting with no notice ever given to the community here about our demise. > > I’ve been wondering about @kayaker . He was pretty prolific, and never missed a good party. His sudden disappearance was addressed in the “Who are you missing” thread. I too worried for his welfare there. Short version, at least as of a year ago is that somebody who knew him IRL & had his Facebook moniker checked and he was alive and well and living large just as he always has. He just decided for whatever reason to totally bail out of the 'Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/30 "2026-07-09T17:47:02Z")
I’d like people to say nice things. I expect no one would come. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/31 "2026-07-09T17:52:44Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > My lack of close relationships is pathological The serious side of the exercise, as my wife explained it to me, is then to ask what you plan on doing to change your life. Cause we ain’t dead yet. Interesting about friends. My wife and I both recognize that we focused our lives around our kids and our careers for a very long time and that neither of us have too many close friends outside of those contexts. We are not huge socializers. She is bothered by that. I am honestly perfectly fine with it. I am not sure if that is gender conditioning or just who were are though. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/32 "2026-07-09T18:12:02Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > I have just the thing for you: > [Dark Secret](https://uncrate.com/dark-secret-mysterious-woman-funeral-service/) I like it! > [@ricepad](#): > > You left one thing out: she must be holding a black parasol, preferably one that matches the veil! The details matter. ---
**Author:** ![Calder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Calder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calder)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/33 "2026-07-09T18:23:08Z")
When I die, I don’t want a traditional eulogy. I want something modeled after the Speaker for the Dead concept from the Ender’s Game series. A Speaker tells the truth of a person’s life — the good, the bad, the complicated — in a way that helps people understand who that person really was. That’s what I want: honesty, context, and clarity. After that, I want a party. Not mourning for its own sake, but a celebration of the life I lived and the people I cared about. The Speaking is for understanding; the party is for remembering. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/34 "2026-07-09T18:23:28Z")
I read of that before but I was suspicious because how would the dead person be there to hold the mystery woman accountable, “Hey, you took my money and didn’t show up to my funeral?” However, I would guess the woman would still do so because of the threat-risk that the soon-to-die person may have told someone else she’d show up, so she better not be a no-show. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/35 "2026-07-09T18:25:21Z")
What I would like to be said about me would be that I was unique, quirky, odd, and often helped people out, such as gifting money to a Korean friend to help her pay her college tuition, or getting groceries, clothes and a place to stay for several homeless people. I’d hope a lot of such recipients would be there to show up or at least say something upon my death. More realistically, I’ve been a church pianist for many churches for 20+ years, so I’d guess a lot of people would just say things like, “Well, he played piano for us…” ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/36 "2026-07-09T18:45:53Z")
“What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?” “Wow, isn’t it amazing how he came back to life at the last minute?” ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/37 "2026-07-09T18:49:46Z")
I don’t want a funeral. Since I cleverly arranged not to have any family, there won’t be anyone to arrange one. I know what people will say about me, that she was reliable. For about two weeks until I’m completely forgotten. Which is fine with me. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/38 "2026-07-09T19:09:45Z")
I agree. I don’t want a funeral - I don’t like going to other peoples, and I’m not going to be there (well, yes in body, but not in mind). I always thought the idea of demanding things to be done for your own funeral was rather selfish. If ther rest of the family want to do something, that’s fine - it’s their party, they can do what they want (even if it’s ‘Thank christ the silly old bugger’s dead’) - but I’ve told them, if they ever spend so much time and money that they are inconvenienced by the funeral arrangements, I will personally come back and haunt them. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/39 "2026-07-09T20:49:47Z")
I had a dream about my own funeral. A speaker said about me “Typo told me a lie once.” (paused for emphasis.) “He said he did not believe in unconditional love. That’s not true. If you were in his family, if you were his friend, he’d do anything - anything - for you.” I’m trying to live up to that. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2026, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529/40 "2026-07-09T21:04:30Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > So for you, @Moriarty, and @GuanoLad , you content with the current state of your relationships? I don’t have any relationships. What friends I once had have drifted away, and I’ve always been alone romantically. I like it this way, I don’t feel _lonely_, just _alone_, an important difference. But it will make my funeral rather sparse, I guess. Could be a bit of an Eleanor Rigby situation for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-want-people-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral/1031529.md?page=1)