What does a drill sergeant do if a recruit arrives at the recruiting depot then realizes what he's gotten himself into and refuses to participate and demands to be sent home?

DSs give everyone nicknames. They called me “college,” even though there were actually six people with degrees in my unit. I happen to have a really good memory for random facts, and in the days before you could pull out a Smart phone and look something up, if a DS wanted to know some random fact, they’d ask me, and I never failed them.

Once they brought a TV into the barracks, because there was a sporting event people wanted to see (more to the point, I think, the DSs wanted to see it, so they acted like they were giving us a special treat. I went to bed early); it was the stupid “superbowl,” which I know is football just because I once had a roommate who liked that stuff. Never seen an episode myself-- anyway, there was an episode of Jeopardy on, and I knew literally (yes, NOT figuratively) every answer. People were staring at me like I’d just fallen from another planet. I didn’t know which teams were playing in their “superbowl,” but I knew what the Bayeux Tapestry was, and what SCUBA stood for (those are the only things I remember, but it was actually a pretty easy show that night).

No one escaped without a nickname, though, and I got off pretty easy.

I’ve always had a crazy memory; I could never be on Jeopardy, though, because as soon as the camera came on, I’d turn to stone.