# What does being a "friend" on SDMB entail? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [October 12, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482 "2012-10-12T02:52:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/1 "2012-10-12T02:52:37Z")
I’ve taken is as axiomatic that the day somebody “friends” me on SDMB will be the day pigs fly and hell freezes over, or the day of ancient Hindu prophecy that the universe comes to an end. So I see today that I have a “friend” request. Has the very nature of the universe changed? Can somebody splain to me what being a “friend” on SDMB means? What happens when somebody friends somebody, that doesn’t happen otherwise? (No, I don’t do Facebook, so I don’t really know what friending means there either.) A link to a FAQ or other sticky will be fine, if there’s one explaining these mysteries. (ETA: And please don’t try to splain on-line friending in terms of real-life friending, because I don’t really understand that either.) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/2 "2012-10-12T03:01:30Z")
One of my Friends I had to donate a kidney to. I didn’t want to, but I was directed to the fine print. I hear another one is eying my liver. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/3 "2012-10-12T03:07:00Z")
I had a friend request sitting around for a while without realizing it. I didn’t know I had to accept it. I accepted in spite of the great associated responsibilities. Aren’t a couple of dopers trying to collect these things? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/4 "2012-10-12T03:31:12Z")
I think we should all by default be friends with each other, then we can unfriend people we don’t like and use that as a measure of a poster’s character by being able to check their profile only to see they don’t have anyone there. This also has the benefit of allowing the mods to see who’s the most disliked and therefore has Cecil’s highest favor. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/5 "2012-10-12T04:46:56Z")
I got a free tv and entertainment center, maybe I should have held out for a kidney! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/6 "2012-10-12T04:55:43Z")
Rides from the airport, help moving, beer money when the wallet’s light, spouse-sharing. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/7 "2012-10-12T05:32:51Z")
Actual serious answer: With the settings on the SDMB, it doesn’t mean much. People can view your profile and see who your “friends” are. Most vBulletin sites use the default setting which shows which users are currently online. If that is enabled, there will be a “+” next to the names of your friends so you can easily see if they are online. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/8 "2012-10-12T13:42:18Z")
The only friend request I ever got turned out to be a spammer getting ready to do his thing. I accepted, then reported to a mod that it was suspicious, next thing I know, he’s banned before even making one post. I see I’m the only one who accepted. I wonder if anyone else reported him without accepting. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/9 "2012-10-12T16:43:05Z")
I just friended you so you can see for yourself. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/10 "2012-10-12T17:51:29Z")
Friends? What’s that? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/11 "2012-10-12T18:10:36Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > Friends? What’s that? They’re people who will help you hide bodies. But that’s not important right now. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/12 "2012-10-12T19:07:30Z")
So the only real thing about friending someone here is that we can see more of each other’s profiles than otherwise, including who the friend’s friends are? And potentially opening onesself to spam if a friend is chosen injudiciously? Why does this text box, where I’m typing this message, think “spam” is a misspelling? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/13 "2012-10-12T19:08:16Z")
It’s not your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/14 "2012-10-12T19:14:12Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > So the only real thing about friending someone here is that we can see more of each other’s profiles than otherwise, including who the friend’s friends are? You can see who people’s friends are without being a friend of that person. EDIT: For example, I’m not friends with RNATB, but I can see he’s a gigantic manwhore with 12 friends, which then reduces my masculinity because I only have 9. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/15 "2012-10-12T19:14:19Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I just friended you so you can see for yourself. 🙂 Okay, I just counter-friended you. Now what happens? Do you help bury my body, or do I help bury your body? Or do we work together to bury some third-party body? Do we go out on a coffee date together and discuss the origins of cinnamon and egg nog? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/16 "2012-10-12T19:29:24Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > EDIT: For example, I’m not friends with RNATB, but I can see he’s a gigantic manwhore with 12 friends, which then reduces my masculinity because I only have 9. Just for the record, this is the first time I’ve _sent_ a friend request. My milkshake brings all the people of indeterminate gender to the yard. [QUOTE=Senegoid] Okay, I just counter-friended you. Now what happens? Do you help bury my body, or do I help bury your body? Or do we work together to bury some third-party body? Do we go out on a coffee date together and discuss the origins of cinnamon and egg nog? [/QUOTE] Normally I just start talking about how I have issues with my ex and you decline the second frienddate. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/17 "2012-10-12T20:58:27Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > So the only real thing about friending someone here is that we can see more of each other’s profiles than otherwise, including who the friend’s friends are? And potentially opening onesself to spam if a friend is chosen injudiciously? > > Why does this text box, where I’m typing this message, think “spam” is a misspelling? There’s also a feature (at the top, under “Quick Links”) that reads “Open Contacts Popup”. This allows you to have a list of who of the people you’ve friended are currently online. It makes it look kind of like an IM list. I add people to mine mostly if I find I usually like their posts/topics as a way to access any topics they’ve made easier. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/18 "2012-10-13T04:11:25Z")
Yeah, but you can just add them as contacts without adding them as friends. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/19 "2012-10-13T04:19:13Z")
Being friends on SDMB means ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶l̶k̶ ̶ **R̶o̶b̶o̶t̶ ̶A̶r̶m̶** ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶e̶a̶s̶i̶l̶y̶ nothing, really. There doesn’t seem to be any additional functionality. It also helps me remember that **Scumpup** is the guy I need to circle back to talk Ukranian music with when I get the time. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482/20 "2012-10-13T04:52:04Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > They’re people who will help you hide bodies. But that’s not important right now. I get rid of those after they finish digging…their own hole [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-being-a-friend-on-sdmb-entail/637482.md?page=2)