# What does God need with a helicopter? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204 "2013-06-29T14:50:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/21 "2013-06-30T21:55:13Z")
> [@drew870mitchell](#): > > The _really_ devout know that God loves loopholes and technicalities like that, just like [Sabbath elevators](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shabbat_elevator), too. How the hell is taking advantage of a religious ritual technicality to make people’s lives easier even vaguely similar to a religious leader fleecing their congregation for a new helicopter? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/22 "2013-07-01T02:19:40Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Honestly, I just wonder how they justify this. “We need a helicopter… Because?” St. Francis was the one who preached to the birds, wasn’t he ? Of course, back then he probably had to wait until they landed near him. Gotta move with the times, gotta go mass market, everything’s more fast paced these days. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/23 "2013-07-01T16:28:22Z")
Look at the upside: con artists who own helicopters are more likely to die in helicopter crashes. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/24 "2013-07-01T16:47:00Z")
Maybe they should ask the Catholic church how selling indulgences worked out for them. > [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I imagine Bishop Hilliard’s prayers for his helicopter went something like this: > > Bishop Hilliard: Heavenly Father, what is a million years like to you? > God: Like one second. > Bishop Hilliard: Heavenly Father, what is a million dollars like to you? > God: Like one penny. > Bishop Hilliard: Can I have a penny? > God: Sure, just give me a second. Is this original? 'cause it’s brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/25 "2013-07-01T20:38:32Z")
It’s a very old joke actually. ---
**Author:** ![drew870mitchell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drew870mitchell/32/3946_2.png) [@drew870mitchell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drew870mitchell)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/26 "2013-07-01T20:49:54Z")
> [@Shmendrik](#): > > How the hell is taking advantage of a religious ritual technicality to make people’s lives easier even vaguely similar to a religious leader fleecing their congregation for a new helicopter? It’s a silly technicality like the one we were riffing on. Matthew 19:24: > [@](#): > > 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” If you’ve ever spent any time arguing with people about Jesus’s stance on wealth, this verse will come up, then somebody will make this asinine argument in reply: Jesus wasn’t talking about _actual_ needles. There were these big vaguely needle-shaped gates in city walls. Sometimes you had to take your packs off the camels to get them through. No archaeological evidence exists to support this, but more importantly, it reduces the entire point. “Again I tell you, it’s kind of difficult for a rich man to go to heaven, but not very, just a moment’s stop and rearranging and you’re on your way?” That’s it, and as forum discussions drift it’s not what the OP was about at all, except maybe to say the fleecing pastor lives in contravention of the spirit of Matthew 19. Shabbat elevators are merely another example of the pious missing the forest for the trees, just-so-coincidentally in a way that happens to ease their own moral burden. Now back to your regularly scheduled low-hanging fruit: bashing Texans who believe God will bless them for buying helicopter blades. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/27 "2013-07-01T21:07:52Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Maybe they should ask the Catholic church how selling indulgences worked out for them. > > Is this original? 'cause it’s brilliant. I heard it as a young kid, and vowed that if _I_ ever met God, I definitely wouldn’t throw Him a softball by asking about the million years first. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/28 "2013-07-01T21:49:50Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I guess both he and his congregation deserve a pitting. Him for milking rubes and, to a much lesser extent, the rubes for being milked. Dear Pastor Reverend, Whatever. Have faith. God will provide. That’s a polite way to say “take that helo and shove it up your arse.” ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/29 "2013-07-01T23:27:31Z")
If God was his co-pilot he wouldn’t need to worry about new blades for the chopper. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204/30 "2013-07-02T01:18:15Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > What does God need with a helicopter? I dunno, but he does. Ezekiel 1: 15 Now as I looked at the living beings, behold, there was one wheel on the earth beside the living beings, \*for each of the four of them. 16 The appearance of the wheels and their workmanship was like [j]sparkling beryl, and all four of them had the same form, their appearance and workmanship being as if [k]one wheel were within another. 17 Whenever they [l]moved, they [m]moved in any of their four [n]directions without turning as they [o]moved. 18 As for their rims they were lofty and awesome, and the rims of all four of them were full of eyes round about. 19 Whenever the living beings [p]moved, the wheels [q]moved with them. And whenever the living beings rose from the earth, the wheels rose also. 20 Wherever the spirit was about to go, they would go in that direction[r]. And the wheels rose close beside them; for the spirit of the living [s]beings was in the wheels. 21 Whenever those went, these went; and whenever those stood still, these stood still. And whenever those rose from the earth, the wheels rose close beside them; for the spirit of the living [t]beings was in the wheels. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-god-need-with-a-helicopter/662204.md?page=1)