# What does "high maintenance woman" mean to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 14, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333 "2003-11-14T22:55:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/1 "2003-11-14T22:55:44Z")
I’ve always thought that a “high maintenance” woman was one that basically required a lot of money to please (expects gifts of fancy clothes and jewelry, only eats out at the finest restaurants, will only be seen in a flashy car, etc.). Recently, however, I heard somebody describe herself as a “high maintenance” woman since she expects her man to spend a lot of time with her, wants to talk on the phone when they can’t be together, etc. Now, this second definition seems to me to be simply “clingy” and not “high maintenance.” What say you? Barry ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/2 "2003-11-14T23:10:19Z")
It means there’s no way in hell she’ll ever sleep with me. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/3 "2003-11-15T00:02:17Z")
I think more along the lines of clingy, but usually with a bit of materialistic slant. She needs constant ressurance that you love her, that you’re there for her, that she’s beautiful, that this outfit doesn’t make her look fat, that her makeup is all right, that…well you get the picture. And the reassurance she prefers is flowers and candy and jewelry and expensive outfits (as long as you’re _sure_ it doesn’t make her butt look big.) ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/4 "2003-11-15T00:13:23Z")
Something along the lines of the cliche phrase “my way or the highway” ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/5 "2003-11-15T00:39:26Z")
The person in the OP sounds more ‘clingy’ to me (though I would include in a definition of true clinginess a lack of self-worth and inablilty to function as an adult without SO around). I would define ‘high maintenance’ as the materialistic part, plus a demand that the SO cater to her whims and generally treat her like a princess–that being the reassurance of love that is desired. I find, upon meditating a little more, that I think of a ‘high maintenance’ _friend_ as someone who is very emotionally demanding, as the OP’s subject describes. Hm… ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/6 "2003-11-15T01:24:50Z")
Yea, it fits. High maintenance is someone who is more needy than reasonable, as perceived by the person who is supposed to be the giver. Very subjective but, it’s by no means limited to financial situations. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/7 "2003-11-15T01:33:53Z")
“Pain in the ass!” ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/8 "2003-11-15T01:39:01Z")
I think it is probably more sensible to think in terms of relationships being high or low maintenance, not individuals–in my experience, individuals can be “high maintenance” in one relatoinship and “low matanence” in another. And this applies pretty equally to romantic, friendly, and professional relationships. To me, a high maintenance relationship is one in which the abstract concept of the relationship itself takes up a great deal of energy on the part of one or both people. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/9 "2003-11-15T02:25:07Z")
I always thought “High Maintenance” meant expensive. The other type is a pain in the ass. If I had to choose between the two, I’d rather spend the money. Fortunately, Grlfrien’ is in neither category. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/10 "2003-11-15T02:38:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Casey1505 \* > \*\*It means there’s no way in hell she’ll ever sleep with me. \*\* Boy, **Casey** That’s some Tough standards!!!:eek: I agree with the demanding of reassurance and attention. Not necessarily having anything to do with finances, but just, in general, demands … with histrionics if those “needs” are not met. ---
**Author:** ![cookeze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@cookeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cookeze)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/11 "2003-11-15T02:43:33Z")
I’ve always thought that “high maintenance” was a euphemism for “spoiled.” A good definition of it is someone who has a very high expectation of what you are going to do, both materially and emotionally, for her (him) and at the same time has a very low expectation about what is required from her (him) for your needs. ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/12 "2003-11-15T03:33:51Z")
Hmm, to me high maintenance more often means spending lots of time in front of the mirror (e.g. salon visits, and hour blow-drying hair, won’t go out without makeup, Peg Bundys around in heels all day). ---
**Author:** ![IUHomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90db22/32.png) [@IUHomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IUHomer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/13 "2003-11-15T03:48:27Z")
I don’t necessarily think of “high maintenance” in terms of money. Women who want material possessions are just spoiled, in my mind. I think of high maintenance as highly demanding in every way. Spend time with me, don’t look at other women, we always do what I want, don’t go out with your friends but instead be with me, everything is my way, etc. Man is whipped, does whatever the woman says (or vice versa). Usually the money part would go with it, but its not so much an issue as the time and demanding part. ``` Monica on Friends, she is high maintenance. She isn't necessarily very materialisitc, though. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/14 "2003-11-15T03:59:37Z")
I second **fizgig** , I usually use the term to refer to the kind of girl that needs over an hour to _get ready_ when she’s only heading to the grocery store. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/15 "2003-11-15T04:14:42Z")
It’s all about her. She “needs” to spend more time and money on herself than the average woman, and she expects more of everything from men, too. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/16 "2003-11-15T12:13:00Z")
Women who order frozen drinks. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/17 "2003-11-15T12:25:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\*It’s all about her. She “needs” to spend more time and money on herself than the average woman, and she expects more of everything from men, too. \*\* Exactly. One who is never satisfied. Needs all the latest fashions. Dumps her problems on you but doesn’t have time for yours. As soon as I figure out Ms. X is high maintenance, exit stage left. ---
**Author:** ![Caprese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Caprese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprese)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/18 "2003-11-15T12:41:01Z")
I concur with **ccwaterback.** I think the highest of the high maintenance types aren’t even fully conscious of _being_ high maintenance. Seen this in both genders–not just females. It is so ‘all about them’ that they are only occasionally aware of another’s needs or wants, and even then, their concern for others only shows up as it relates to their own agenda. You operate on their schedule, go to their house, look at their material possessions, hear about their lives, massage their egos. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/19 "2003-11-15T13:20:19Z")
A woman who considers herself sufficiently desirable that she is not expected to meet her partner halfway, or compromise on issues that cannot be agreed upon. In short, a beautiful bitch. ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333/20 "2003-11-15T14:28:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caprese \* > \*\*I concur with **ccwaterback.** > I think the highest of the high maintenance types aren’t even fully conscious of _being_ high maintenance. \*\* That’s the worst kind. A high maintenance woman who thinks she’s low maintenance. The few husbands I’ve known in this situation have generally gone deaf and broke. Whistlepig [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-high-maintenance-woman-mean-to-you/213333.md?page=2)