# What does it mean when a woman says, "Can I think about it?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 23, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536 "2005-02-23T15:30:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/21 "2005-02-23T21:55:20Z")
“I don’t want to, but I’m afraid that if I say no to your face, you’ll look all sad or cry or something, and that’ll make me feel bad. Maybe if I avoid it, you won’t ask me again, and we can both pretend this never happened. 'Kay?” ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/22 "2005-02-23T21:58:17Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > What does that tell you? It tells me that it never means: c) wow, I’m really flattered by your attentions, and can’t wait to get into a socially acceptable situation that will lead to kinky sex! 🙂 Seriously, as a guy, I’d have to choke back my automatic reply of, “later, bitch!” If I’d worked up the nerve to ask her out and got that as a reply. Lukewarmness of any sort is really irritating to me, though, so I don’t advocate that response as good behavior. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/23 "2005-02-23T23:31:45Z")
“It seems to me that maybe, pretty much always mean no…” ``` - Jack Johnson. ``` ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/24 "2005-02-23T23:33:47Z")
In my experience, when a woman says “I’ll think about it” to a man who has asked her out, it’s very much like a guy saying “I’ll call you sometime” to a woman. It usually means “I want to let you down without hurting your feelings.” ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2005, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/25 "2005-02-23T23:38:32Z")
I don’t want my women thinking that much. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/26 "2005-02-23T23:50:17Z")
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying “I want to think about it.” Perhaps she’s had two dates with someone else and is wondering if it’s appropriate? Perhaps she’s about to break up with someone? Perhaps her friend is interested in you and she wants to make sure it’s okay? Perhaps she’s worried about the effect this may have on your friendship? There are a multitude of reasons why someone may think it’s inappropriate to give you an answer that very minute and she certainly shouldn’t answer immediately just to make you more comfortable. If that makes you think poorly of her, I guess you’re not that interested. /Ms Cyros ---
**Author:** ![nivlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/27 "2005-02-24T05:07:14Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > I have a question for you all. In your opinion, what does it mean when you ask a woman out, and she says, “Can I think about it, please?” Did she really say “please”? If yes, then maybe it’s not a NO. Why conjecture? Just call her again in a few days. Now if she doesn’t say yes, give it up. ---
**Author:** ![neisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4bbf92/32.png) [@neisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neisha)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/28 "2005-02-24T05:10:05Z")
I mean no, but keep asking because it does my ego good. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536/29 "2005-02-24T06:02:54Z")
> [@nivlac](#): > > Did she really say “please”? If yes, then maybe it’s not a NO. Why conjecture? Just call her again in a few days. Now if she doesn’t say yes, give it up. Actually, I did ask her “Is that a no?” She hemmed and hawed, then said that she doesn’t want to date anyone right now. (Which is usually code for “No, I don’t want to date you.”) Anyway, I’m no longer interested, for reasons explained [in this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5876441&postcount=24). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-a-woman-says-can-i-think-about-it/291536.md?page=1)