# What Does It Mean When People Say Marriage Takes a Lot of "Work"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2009, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-people-say-marriage-takes-a-lot-of-work/501036 "2009-06-26T03:32:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 6
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-people-say-marriage-takes-a-lot-of-work/501036/6 "2009-06-26T07:17:43Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > No, marital communication is not just opening your mouth and spouting off the truth. Almost directly the opposite, in fact. For me, that is work. Yes. For me, not almost the opposite, but – stating the necessary parts of the truth in a very diplomatic and caring manner – that is huge work. I usually fail at it, unfortunately. I’m trying to get better at it. I think it’s also “work” or “effort” to let things go. Let lots of things go. All the time. Choose battles. Take the high road. After all, the other party has to let things go all the time too. Maybe more than you do, but the things that YOU do aren’t annoying to you, so you don’t realize how much they’re letting them go. As my mother says, “Your mate’s flaws are the things that kept him/her from getting a better mate!” I think there’s work in other ways too – working on yourself – physically, emotionally – instead of letting yourself go. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-it-mean-when-people-say-marriage-takes-a-lot-of-work/501036)._