# What does lipstick look like? (Maybe TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627 "2005-09-14T17:19:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/21 "2005-09-14T19:18:38Z")
Naw, you’ve got it backwards. . . What I really want is to see a tongue coming out a woman’s vagina - that’d be all kinds of hot. . . ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/22 "2005-09-14T19:29:05Z")
Right. And boobs are big & round because they remind us of butts. I think this is _Naked Ape_ stuff, but 'm not sure. It’s been a long time. and I haven’t read the book in a while either. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/23 "2005-09-14T19:32:32Z")
And blush is to make a woman’s face look more like her ass, and eyeliner is supposed to . . um… remind us of the pubic hair (yeah!), and a nose. . . well, clearly all of us men hate big noses on women because it crosses that subtle line between clit and mini-penis. Remember, anything that is longer than it is wide is a penis. Always. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/24 "2005-09-14T19:39:30Z")
> [@Misery Loves Co.](#): > > Remember, anything that is longer than it is wide is a penis. Always. This reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. One day I bought a video game in which the player commands a submarine in naval operations. My ex looked at it and said “You men, always have to have toys that look like a penis.” Gee, honeybums, to me it looks like a boat. What’s been on _your_ mind lately? ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/25 "2005-09-14T19:44:50Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > This reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. One day I bought a video game in which the player commands a submarine in naval operations. My ex looked at it and said “You men, always have to have toys that look like a penis.” Gee, honeybums, to me it looks like a boat. What’s been on _your_ mind lately? 😃 _gotta_ remember that one. . . ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/26 "2005-09-14T19:47:42Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It’s said that when men see women’s lips, they are reminded of vaginas. And that when women wear red lipstick, it reminds men of vaginal lips that are engorged with excitement. > > Is there any truth to this claim at all? Men: Do (mouth) lips bear any similarity, whatsoever, to a vagina? Or or this just Freudian wishful thinking? Of course they do! Do they bear _any_ similarity? At least as much as the Washington Monument resembles a phallus. Nevertheless, when I see lips I don’t think consciously “that looks like a vulva/vagina” when they’ve got red lipstick on them I don’t think “that vulva is sexually aroused”. Most of the time I imagine most people don’t think these things either. The problem is that I think a good case can be made for the existance of subconscious desires and impulses. Whether there is some sort of subconscious association of the mouth with the vagina I have no idea, but there _could_ be. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/27 "2005-09-14T19:47:59Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > This reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. One day I bought a video game in which the player commands a submarine in naval operations. My ex looked at it and said “You men, always have to have toys that look like a penis.” Gee, honeybums, to me it looks like a boat. What’s been on _your_ mind lately? Yes, a long, hard, tubular boat filled with throbbing machinery that in the heat of battle rapidly propels torpedos out of its front end. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/28 "2005-09-14T19:59:06Z")
_Maam, you’ve got a piece of chicken stuck in your vulva._ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/29 "2005-09-14T20:02:09Z")
> [@Billdo](#): > > Yes, a long, hard, tubular boat filled with throbbing machinery that in the heat of battle rapidly propels torpedos out of its front end. And it’s full of sea men. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/30 "2005-09-14T20:08:38Z")
> [@Billdo](#): > > Yes, a long, hard, tubular boat filled with throbbing machinery that in the heat of battle rapidly propels torpedos out of its front end. mhmmmmm - funny how the laws of hydrodynamics just HAPPENED upon that shape! Everyone knows it’d be just as easy to build a submarine shaped like a gigantic bowl that could, say, SUCK it’s enemies into its depths and crush them. Of course, then someone’d decry the designers’ latent mysogyny in creating a gigantic killer vagina. These sorts of memes are so absurd it’s frightening. . . **sjc** Remember how women dress for women, not men? Apply that same logic here. It is much easier to imagine that our ancestral matriarchs started applying makeup to simulate youth and allow them to compete (both sexually and socially) with their younger rivals than to make an argument that women would develop lipstick as a means of making their face look like a part of their anatomy that is typically covered with hair and not generally in close view when engaged in the biological act of copulation. If lips=vulvas was a subconsious attractant to males, I’d expect that women with large, meaty lips that were undefined and horizontally symetrical, perhaps with a prominent cold sore in one corner, would be unbelievably attractive. I personally find the image nauseating, as I find [Jocelyn Wildenstein](http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/000351.html). While there may not be definitive proof to support one theory over the other, Occam’s Razor is a fine tool for this job. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/31 "2005-09-14T21:03:35Z")
Heh heh heh, you said “tool.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/32 "2005-09-14T21:12:48Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > You know, if you think about boinking every woman you see, or just the majority of them, maybe, just maybe, it is not because her lips are red, or you subconsciously read the word ‘sex’ in the ice cubes in an ad, or the fact that there is fluoride in the water, or you heard rock and or roll music playing, or you played Leisure Suit Larry thinking it was a '70s trivia game, or you saw Janet Jackson’s nipple at the Superbowl for a nanosecond, or you ate a green M&M, or she was wearing a short skirt so she was asking for it, or you visited the Empire State Building when you were six and the phallic symbolism ruined you, maybe, perhaps, it’s because **you are a horny bastard**. Well, er…what happens when you feel the same way, only in reverse? As in for all guys, and you’re female? I can’t be a horny **bastard** , can I? ---
**Author:** ![leandroc76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@leandroc76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leandroc76)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/33 "2005-09-14T21:12:49Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Or maybe if women’s mouths were vertical, and women had big bushy moustaches. Nah, not even then. LOL!!! 😃😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/34 "2005-09-14T22:30:08Z")
> [@Misery Loves Co.](#): > > [Jocelyn Wildenstein](http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/000351.html). My goodness, she looks like Michael Jackson after he lost a boxing match with Mike Tyson. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/35 "2005-09-14T22:59:27Z")
The way I heard it: Cleopatra invented lipstick and she did so to make her lips appear as “vaginal lips that are engorged with excitement.” Whether or not this is true, it is what I was told. If indeed it is intent of lipstick, it fails to work on me. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/36 "2005-09-14T23:44:30Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > The way I heard it: Cleopatra invented lipstick and she did so to make her lips appear as “vaginal lips that are engorged with excitement.” Whether or not this is true, it is what I was told. Probably invented by the same people who scared little boys with stories about girls having teeth in their vaginas. I’m now imagining some repressed victorian scientist examining an upside down female cadiver and going on to give very confused lectures to his biology class students. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/37 "2005-09-14T23:53:31Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Well, er…what happens when you feel the same way, only in reverse? As in for all guys, and you’re female? I can’t be a horny **bastard** , can I? Some people might call you a horny bastard, but personally I’d prefer to call you tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/38 "2005-09-15T00:15:38Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Some people might call you a horny bastard, but personally I’d prefer to call you tonight. _looks stunned_ Wow, tdn, that was an excellent riposte! For that \*alone \* I’d go out with you. _claps hands_ ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/39 "2005-09-15T01:19:56Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Well, er…what happens when you feel the same way, only in reverse? As in for all guys, and you’re female? I can’t be a horny **bastard** , can I? :dubious: Not that I can compete with tdn’s response but…why the hell not? I’m female. I was born on the wrong side of the blanket. I AM a horny bastard whereas a lot of guys are just legitimate wannabes. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627/40 "2005-09-15T01:24:54Z")
> [@Billdo](#): > > Yes, a long, hard, tubular boat filled with throbbing machinery that in the heat of battle rapidly propels torpedos out of its front end. Dude. I can’t believe you missed the obvious “filled with sea men” thing. You really ought to be ashamed of yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-lipstick-look-like-maybe-tmi/321627.md?page=3)