# What does "no substitutions" mean on a slow food menu. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 9, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562 "2013-06-09T16:54:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mdcastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@Mdcastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mdcastle)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/1 "2013-06-09T16:54:54Z")
OK, I might go to a slow food place once a month, (except on vacation where my foodie snob sister wants to try “local” cuisine constantly). So what does “no substitutions” mean on a menu? “We’re foodie snobs and we know better than you what is good” “We make a bunch of this at once, and can’t be bothered to make a special plate for you” “This is something we buy from Sysco that we throw into the microwave” ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/2 "2013-06-09T17:08:39Z")
“This is the recipe. If you don’t like it, order something else.” “We’re not McDonalds.” “Our line cooks are just not that clever.” ---
**Author:** ![DonLogan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@DonLogan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonLogan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/3 "2013-06-09T17:13:01Z")
All of the above. [Obligatory Five Easy Pieces diner scene](http://youtu.be/XylSAxvujeA) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/4 "2013-06-09T17:13:30Z")
Perhaps it means we only purchase as much as we expect to sell, so if we substitute one item on an entrée, it means that we will then be one full entrée short. Call the restaurant a couple of weeks in advance to book a slow-food substitution, and if they refuse, ask why. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/5 "2013-06-09T17:16:30Z")
“We’ve priced this meal at $x for these Y items, and if we’ll have to charge you $Z more to maintain our profit margin if want us to change it.” Customers are not above asking for steak to be included as an ingredient in the daily hamburger special, at the same price as the original hamburger special. ---
**Author:** ![JKilez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@JKilez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKilez)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/6 "2013-06-09T17:19:03Z")
We used to do substitutions, but then either: too many people took advantage of it and it slowed us down, or, there was mix-up which caused a big kerfuffle. Either way, it is not worth the hassle anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/7 "2013-06-09T17:19:26Z")
> [@DonLogan](#): > > [Obligatory Five Easy Pieces diner scene](http://youtu.be/XylSAxvujeA) I ran into that problem when I tried to order toast at a diner at lunch time. The owner refused, saying that toast could only be served at breakfast time. We had this discussion while he was standing beside the toaster, which had bread beside it. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/8 "2013-06-09T17:28:56Z")
It means “We don’t like smartasses.” ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/9 "2013-06-09T19:39:37Z")
> [@Mdcastle](#): > > OK, I might go to a slow food place once a month, (except on vacation where my foodie snob sister wants to try “local” cuisine constantly). You know your sister better than I do, but I hope you’re not calling her a “foodie snob” just because she’s adventurous and enjoys trying new things. > [@](#): > > So what does “no substitutions” mean on a menu? My first guess would be that it means “We’re tired of people asking to substitute things that are more expensive (or more complicated to prepare) without paying extra for them.” ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/10 "2013-06-09T19:58:37Z")
Or, “We’re not your personal chef. We’re a restaurant, and we worked hard to put this menu together. If you can’t find something you like, we’re sorry, but you can go somewhere else.” ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/11 "2013-06-09T20:01:19Z")
I feel obligated to post this quote from _The Big Bang Theory_: > [@](#): > > Leonard: Can we get an order of dumplings, but with three instead of four. > > Waiter: No substitutions. > > Leonard: This isn’t a substitution, it’s a reduction. > > Waiter: Okay, no reductions. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/12 "2013-06-09T20:07:39Z")
This is the first time I’ve seen the term “slow food” so I googled it. > **[Slow Food](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_Food)** > > Slow Food is an organization that promotes local food and traditional cooking. It was founded by Carlo Petrini in Italy in 1986 and has since spread worldwide. Promoted as an alternative to fast food, it strives to preserve traditional and regional cuisine and encourages farming of plants, seeds, and livestock characteristic of the local ecosystem. It promotes local small businesses and sustainable foods. It also focuses on food quality, rather than quantity. It was the first established part Are there really that many restaurants that specialize in this and are they more hard ass about “no substitutions” than regular restaurants? ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/13 "2013-06-09T22:00:36Z")
Funny, I had just assumed the OP was trying to say “Restaurants other than Fast Food Restaurants”. Like saying “Sit Down Restaurants”. I didn’t realize it was a thing either. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/14 "2013-06-10T01:19:46Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > Funny, I had just assumed the OP was trying to say “Restaurants other than Fast Food Restaurants”. Like saying “Sit Down Restaurants”. I didn’t realize it was a thing either. You’re probably right about what the OP actually meant. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/15 "2013-06-10T01:35:26Z")
It may just mean that certain things are made ahead of time. For example, a restaurant might make up a hundred salads (as in “soup or salad”) for the dinner rush. If you say “I’d like the salad, but could you make it a romaine salad instead of the house salad?” Now, someone as to figure out that salad, make that salad, price that salad, adjust the bill or just give it to you as a substitute and take a loss on it. Or if you go to a Mexican restaurant and ask for the “Chef’s special Enchilada and Flauta with Spanish rice, but with no corn in the enchiladas” Well, it doesn’t mean it was from Sysco and came in frozen, but they likely make up the filling in big batches ahead of time and subbing the enchilada for something else will result in it being an ala carte plate with a different price. Another reason is that with certain plates being no subs, these chefs and cooks can make them blindfolded and very quickly. If they have to slow down to read directions (and make mistakes) it costs more. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/16 "2013-06-10T01:57:13Z")
I expect this to mean don’t ask for cottage cheese in place of the soup, and you’re not getting mashed potatoes in place of the broccoli. I do expect to be able to omit any item from coming out with my meal and still being charged the original price. It’s a dinner plate and the price is figured serving what’s listed. You order what you want as a side and pay for it. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/17 "2013-06-10T02:19:26Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Or, “We’re not your personal chef. We’re a restaurant, and we worked hard to put this menu together. If you can’t find something you like, we’re sorry, but you can go somewhere else.” And we wonder why most restaurants fail. ---
**Author:** ![NeonMadman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@NeonMadman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NeonMadman)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/18 "2013-06-10T02:24:38Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Or, “We’re not your personal chef. We’re a restaurant, and we worked hard to put this menu together. If you can’t find something you like, we’re sorry, but you can go somewhere else.” And if enough of your customers do exactly that because you are persnickety about simple requests, you won’t have to worry about the issue at all because you won’t have a viable business. Personally, I’m very quick to vote with my dollars when businesses demonstrate that petty policies come before customer satisfaction. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/19 "2013-06-10T02:31:02Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Or, “We’re not your personal chef. We’re a restaurant, and we worked hard to put this menu together. If you can’t find something you like, we’re sorry, but you can go somewhere else.” That’s the “snob” interpretation, in nicer wording. That said, not my personal chef perhaps, but I am the one paying for the meal. I’m sure you did try to come up with the best combination you could devise, Chef, but it doesn’t work for me. They may mean “we’re snobs who know what’s good for you” but to me it always comes off as “we made this six hours ago and it’s been sitting under a heat lamp.” And I am a foodie. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562/20 "2013-06-10T02:39:30Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > And we wonder why most restaurants fail. That’s not why most restaurants fail. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-no-substitutions-mean-on-a-slow-food-menu/660562.md?page=2)