# what does "pussy" mean in the expression, "Hey man, you're a pussy" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 8, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926 "2005-05-08T15:49:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/21 "2005-05-09T03:01:24Z")
> [@Hoodoo Ulove](#): > > Can we move this to the pit? What do you find pittable? What do you make of this short essay by “Fanny Fern,” published in 1853? > [@](#): > > **"I CAN’T."** > > Apollo!–what a face! Doleful as a hearse; folded hands; hollow chest; whining voice; the very picture of cowardly irresolution. Spring to your feet, hold up your head, set your teeth together, draw that fine form of yours up to the height that God made it; draw an immense long breath, and look about you. What do you see? Why, all creation taking care of number one;–pushing ahead like the car of Juggernaut, over live victims. There it is; and you can’t help it. Are you going to lie down and be crushed? > > By all that is manly, no!–dash ahead! You have as good a right to mount the triumphal car as your neighbor. Snap your fingers at croakers. If you can’t get round a stump, leap over it, high and dry. Have nerves of steel, a will of iron. Never mind sideaches, or heartaches, or headaches,–dig away without stopping to breathe, or to notice envy or malice. Set your target in the clouds, and aim at it. If your arrow falls short of the mark, what of that? Pick it up and go at it again. If you should never reach it, you will shoot higher than if you only aimed at a bush. Don’t whine, if your friends fall off. At the first stroke of good luck, by Mammon! they will swarm around you like a hive of bees, till you are disgusted with human nature. > > “I can’t!” O, pshaw! I throw my glove in your face, if I am a woman! You are a disgrace to corduroys. What! a man lack courage? A man want independence? A man to be discouraged at obstacles? A man afraid to face anything on earth, save his Maker? Why! I have the most unmitigated contempt for you, you pusillanimous pussy-cat! There is nothing manly about you, except your whiskers. You see how “you’re a pussy” has meant the same thing for at least a century and a half? And how it’s unrelated, in that sense, to women’s private parts? I’ll leave it to someone else to make a “Fanny” joke, snarky or no. ---
**Author:** ![Antivenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Antivenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antivenin)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/22 "2005-05-09T03:25:50Z")
I figured it would be obvious that I felt that being “yellow-bellied and lily-livered” was synonymous with being “a pussy.” The other day some cretin at a gas station said to me “I want some pussy,” and I was unable to reply. How snappy a comeback would this be: “I suggest you try the Humane Society.” ? Probably pretty snapless, huh. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/23 "2005-05-09T04:38:07Z")
From _Inside the Actor’s Studio_ with Bruce Willis: Lipton: What’s your least favorite word? Bruce: CUNT. It’s ugly, mean-spirited, and demeaning to women. Lipton: Ok…what’s your favorite curse word? Bruce: PUSSY. It’s the flipside of the C-word! ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/24 "2005-05-09T06:42:03Z")
I think that was Robin Williams, actually. Anyway, part of this has to with how words are used today. No one in any instance I’ve heard of used niggardly _intending_ it to be a racial slur. That the word had no etymological connection was primarily evidence that it had never generally been used in that sense and that those who objected to it were truely deluded and mistaken. I think it is perfectly clear that many people who use the phrase “Don’t be a pussy” do so with the meaning of female genitalia in mind. You can claim that when _you_ use it it’s short for pussycat or pussilaminous, but you can’t claim that your objectors are wrong when they attack you for using a word widely used in exactly the same context with mysogynistic intent. FTR, I have, on rare occassion, used the phrase “Don’t be a pussy,” and I did have female genatilia in mind. However it never occured to me that this was a synecdoche for women any more than I think _dick_ is a synecdoche for men in “Don’t be a dick.” I merely thought genital/anal terminology was often used for general terms of abuse. I never made the weak=womanly connection. (Probably because for me it doesn’t.) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/25 "2005-05-09T08:04:24Z")
**KGS** , Bruce’s feeling about “cunt” vs. “pussy” is a great example of how subjective the connotations that these words have is. Why is “cunt” demeaning to women and “pussy” somehow the inverse? My girlfriend _hates_ “pussy.” That word is verboten, and using it in its anatomical sense in _any_ context sends her into a rant or a sulk, so I’ve learned to avoid it. “Cunt” is just fine, though. Bruce’s evaluation makes more sense to me, since “cunt” is so often used in a negative way. Still, it doesn’t make a _lot_ of sense that calling someone a “cunt” is considered “demeaning” to women, while calling the same person a “dick” never raises any concerns about perceived misandry. What a load of bollocks. Whoops, pardon me. Of course, using “pussy” in its synecdochial sense is crass and disrespectful to women. Calling someone a “big pussy” _isn’t_, unless you want it to be. > [@Allan Smithee](#): > > Anyway, part of this has to with how words are used today. No one in any instance I’ve heard of used niggardly intending it to be a racial slur. I hope that’s because you avoid the company of racists. I promise you that it is used that way, and has been long before the relatively recent debacle made it an international discussion. Here’s an example: [http://www.nationalist.org/ATW/1999/mar.html](http://www.nationalist.org/ATW/1999/mar.html) (link disabled to avoid SDMB showing up in racist referrer logs) > [@](#): > > CHICAGO - A minority talk-show hostess is claiming that she would not interview Monica Lewinsky because Lewinsky wanted to be paid. But Nationalists say that Oprah Winfrey may be speaking with “forked tongue.” According to Engineer P. Henry, Winfrey producers contacted Nationalist officials last year and asked if they could purchase tape from Nationalist documentaries. “They came to us, we did not go to them,” said Henry. But “the deal never took place because Oprah was just too niggardly, to put it plainly.” It’s also predictably used as a total malapropism: [From some random a-hole](http://groups-beta.google.com/group/misc.activism.militia/msg/23a40b9cd75acc57?dmode=source&hl=en): > [@](#): > > Over 50% of all American Negroes have been through the penal system. Even O.J. conducts typical niggardly acts. What a joke! They should all stay in their areas of the world. Yes, kids, racists are often dumb as rocks. > [@Alan Smithee](#): > > You can claim that when you use it it’s short for pussycat or pussilaminous, but you can’t claim that your objectors are wrong when they attack you for using a word widely used in exactly the same context with mysogynistic intent. As I noted, the speaker should be aware that it can carry that connotation and avoid its use unless they are prepared to be misunderstood. This is a GQ thread, though, not IMHO. It seems reasonable to approach a “what does this phrase mean?” question in GQ with information about the phrase’s denotation and derivation. The denotation is clear. It means “a timid or weak person.” But _why_ does it mean that? The history of its usage gives us a pretty good indication that it’s not related to genitals. Undeniably, for some people, it has acquired a connotative sense that’s connected with vaginas. Eh. Bound to happen with English. I wouldn’t accept that calling someone a pussy is “widely” used in a misogynist context, though. Personally, I don’t see much substantive difference between arguing that the “coward” sense of “pussy” refers to the supposed weakness of folks with female genitals and arguing that “niggardly” refers to the supposed tight-fistedness of folks of African descent, since both are equally unsupportable. That’s probably because I’m an obsessively strict prescriptivist, though. Hell, I once told a new employer that I wouldn’t accept a salary, because I preferred some form of monetary compensation.\* \*Take this last with a grain of salt. ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/26 "2005-05-09T09:47:39Z")
A few UK insults, and their derivations and implications as I’ve come to understand them: **cunt** - strong insult, highly offensive. Applicable to both men and women, implies unpleasantness and assholery of the person so named. Similar implications to **bastard** although with a totally different origin. **Bastard** is rarely targetted at women for some reason. **twat** - weak insult. Applicable to both men and women, Synonymous with fool, idiot or **pratt**. **dick** has a similar usage but is maybe a mite stronger and can imply malice as well as stupidity, likewise for **prick** but more so. **Tool** is an Americanism yet to gain wide acceptance, but I like it for its novelty value. **berk** - abbreviated form of Cockney rhyming slang “Berkshire hunt”, which substitutes for **cunt**. Despite this derivation, **berk** is a weak insult with the same implications as **twat**. **pussy** - weak insult, synonymous with **wuss** or **wimp**. I don’t think offence should be taken from the (often presumed) etymology of an insult, only from the current usage and strength of the word. Whatever the derivation of “pussy”, it is no more derogatory to women in its current usage than “dick” is derogatory to men. ---
**Author:** ![Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/58956e/32.png) [@Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoodoo_Ulove)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/27 "2005-05-09T13:32:48Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > What do you find pittable? Nothing, really. (Apologies to SamClem) I just thought it would be fun to insult **monkeyfist** for his (her?) manner of speaking. This would, on reflection, have been unworthy of the ideals of the ideals of the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![monkeyfist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@monkeyfist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeyfist)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/28 "2005-05-09T21:06:59Z")
> [@Hoodoo Ulove](#): > > Nothing, really. (Apologies to SamClem) I just thought it would be fun to insult **monkeyfist** for his (her?) manner of speaking. This would, on reflection, have been unworthy of the ideals of the ideals of the SDMB. What manner of speaking are you referring to? What have I said or done that is pit worthy? ---
**Author:** ![monkeyfist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@monkeyfist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeyfist)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/29 "2005-05-09T21:28:33Z")
> [@Antivenin](#): > > Just an attempt to “legitimately” talk about pussy. :eek: Seems to me kind of passive aggressive, or perhaps just yellow-bellied and lily-livered. A assure you that I am an adult, and as such, I can say pussy if I choose to. I certainly do not need to cook up a post to do so. I also do not see where or how I have been passive aggressive. I have been questioning the legitimacy for the reasoning that this particular expression referred to the female body part and therefore was an allusion to the unmanly-ness of women. The pussy-cat allusion has always seemed more clear and direct. I did not, however, have any specific citations to indicate thus. So I brought it to the SDMB, because I knew a group of educated and clear minded individuals gathered for the explicit purpose of “fighting ignorance” would be able to maturely discuss and provide the citations to clear the issue. I would have been happy and content if the evidence presented indicated a historical basis for either interpretation. Unfortunately, many people have responded without any evidence but their own anecdotal reasoning. Were it not for the efforts of Larry Mudd, and the factual support that he has brought forth, this discussion would have been better moved to the IMHO category. However, I was honestly looking for the truth, or evidence thereof. Thanks again to Larry Mudd for his assistance thus far in this endeavor. I quote again from the Straight Dope Column on [“niggardly”](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mniggard.html) : > [@](#): > > If there’s one thing the Straight Dope has taught me, political correctness should always take a back seat to actual correctness. ---
**Author:** ![Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/58956e/32.png) [@Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoodoo_Ulove)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/30 "2005-05-09T21:58:51Z")
> [@monkeyfist](#): > > What manner of speaking are you referring to? What have I said or done that is pit worthy? What part of “nothing” don’t you understand? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/31 "2005-05-09T22:46:15Z")
Let’s not get too combative, **monkeyfist** , or this _will_ end up in the Pit. I think it’s clear from **Antivenin** ’s follow-up that the post you quoted was just a malice-free (if a little weak) joke. And let’s not denigrate the folks who chimed in with “Of course it means ‘woman-like,’” either. As **samclem** said, the general use has drifted quite a bit. If you’re in the company of people who are more likely to use the word “pussy” to describe a woman’s sexual organs than they would to refer to a cat, then you can bank on them hearing “pussy” as “vagina” – and that’s probably the mental picture that they have if they use a common phrase that includes the word “pussy” in a metaphorical way. “Ass,” as an epithet, has suffered the same sorry fate. The strict denotation af “ass” is “stupid person,” and it entered the language by way of analogy with a domesticated animal, just like “pussy” did. Like “pussy,” it has also developed a strong anatomical connotation. Folks who warn against the connotations make a perfectly good point – it’s important for the speaker to have good judgement about their audience (and their judgement of them) and to consider if the intended (if correct) meaning will be heard by them, or if they will take offense. To the pure, all things are pure. I know that if I admit to my aunties that I’m a big pussy, they will hear what I’m saying with no misunderstanding. If I were giving a keynote address to [WAVAW](http://www.cwav.org/wavaw/wawawindex.php), on the other hand, I wouldn’t opine that new legislation failed because an MP “pussied out.” Heck, _I_ know what I mean by that, but I also know how it would sound in the ears of a roomful of women’s activists. It’s common sense. Still, I hate it when people decide a word is offensive because of connotative senses. I remember a few years back, a major plumber’s union advised its members not to use words like “petcock” or “ballcock” because it was upsetting people. Ridiculous. Even more ridiculous, I was once upbraided for using the word “cocky” in the workplace. Not because it was an inappropriate criticism or anything, but because it was a rude word. My boss was a Canadian-born business school graduate, and he somehow thought that calling someone “cocky” was the same as calling them a dick. I was speechless. Again, the domestic animal to anatomy transform. (Although this one was more of a freak thing – I hope.) ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/32 "2005-05-10T05:44:17Z")
Erm, am I weird because I’ve always associated “pussy” with “vulva” rather than “vagina”? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/33 "2005-05-10T05:56:57Z")
Not weird, just precise. (Old Low German _“puse”_ and Scandinavian _“puss”_ both mean “vulva.”) I never really thought about it, but I suppose I associate “pussy” with the internal bits because folks talk of pussies moistening with stimulation, even just mental stimulation. Both by etymology and the association with kitties, though, it makes sense that it should more properly apply to the external bits. I’m really enjoying this thread more than I should. ---
**Author:** ![angeloquistos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d9b06d/32.png) [@angeloquistos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angeloquistos)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/34 "2016-08-12T20:26:27Z")
There are a few terms such as he/she is a scaredy cat or someone who looks scary but is soft is referred to as a pussy cat. The latter was shortened to simply being a pussy. Nothing to do with acting like or girl or anything to do with the vagina. I would suppose the slang pussy for vagina come about in much the same way as cats are fluffy and stroked. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/35 "2016-08-12T21:30:21Z")
> [@Hoodoo\_Ulove](#): > > What part of “nothing” don’t you understand? Of course, “nothing” is also slang for that same female body part. It’s a bit dated, but Shakespeare used it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/36 "2016-08-12T21:30:28Z")
11 years, for that? If ‘‘don’t be a pussy’’ had nothing to do with vagina, it wouldn’t be considered vulgar. The etymology is beside the point, all that matters is the connotation when it’s used _now_. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/37 "2016-08-12T22:59:52Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > 11 years, for that? > > If ‘‘don’t be a pussy’’ had nothing to do with vagina, it wouldn’t be considered vulgar. The etymology is beside the point, all that matters is the connotation when it’s used _now_. I disagree. The etymology and the backstory is always interesting and useful to know. ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/38 "2016-08-12T23:13:23Z")
Historical trivia: Queen Victoria nicknamed her eldest daughter, Princess Victoria, “Pussy.” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2016, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/39 "2016-08-14T04:52:36Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > I disagree. The etymology and the backstory is always interesting and useful to know. Sure, from a purely academic standpoint anything is interesting and useful to know, but it seems some are trying to rationalize use of the term today based on the etymology, which does not fly with us descriptivist types. The OP wants to know if it’s okay to use and not offensive; let’s try an experiment. Gather two ten year old kids. Have one tell his teacher he’s a pussy, and the other tell his teacher he’s a scaredy-cat. See which one gets detention. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2016, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926/40 "2016-08-14T14:44:27Z")
It seemed to have worked fairly well for Sean Connery, in the film “Goldfinger.” 007’s wonderfully, sexy burr of an accent, mouthing the name Pussy, sent plenty of vibrations up and down many spines. I know it was actually the character’s name, but Connery made it extra special. I wonder if anyone objected to it at the time? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-pussy-mean-in-the-expression-hey-man-youre-a-pussy/302926.md?page=3)