# What does the bisexual community want us to know? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918 "2014-03-30T17:46:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/21 "2014-03-30T23:34:53Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Should bi’s create a community and restrict themselves to bi’s only? They seem to bitch because the rest of us aren’t as bi as they are. …you keep telling us what the “bi community” are saying: but I’m not seeing it. This thread is all about what your perception of the bi community, not necessarily the reality. And I don’t think your perception is accurate. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/22 "2014-03-30T23:52:11Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …you keep telling us what the “bi community” are saying: but I’m not seeing it. This thread is all about what your perception of the bi community, not necessarily the reality. And I don’t think your perception is accurate. I see high domestic violence rates and depressed people. I see a problem. If you see something different, feel free to share your reality. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/23 "2014-03-30T23:55:42Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I see high domestic violence rates and depressed people. I see a problem. If you see something different, feel free to share your reality. …yep: this is your perception. It is what “you see.” Can you provide evidence that “They seem to bitch because the rest of us aren’t as bi as they are.”? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/24 "2014-03-31T00:10:41Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …yep: this is your perception. It is what “you see.” > > Can you provide evidence that “They seem to bitch because the rest of us aren’t as bi as they are.”? Why don’t you give me something to work with other than … nothing. Did I say I was a bi-activist or bi-hateivist? ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/25 "2014-03-31T00:23:09Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Why don’t you give me something to work with other than … nothing. > > Did I say I was a bi-activist or bi-hateivist? …I don’t care what you are. Why would I care? You’ve made a lot of claims in this thread. I don’t know if those claims are based on something in reality or they’ve all come from your head. I suspect the latter. You’ve provided no proof of the former. In all my dealings with self-professed bi-sexuals I’ve seen none of the attitudes you’ve portrayed in this thread at all. If the attitudes you claim exist actually exist then it shouldn’t be hard for you to show us some examples. I’ve never known any bi-sexuals who “mostly complain.” I don’t know any that " bitch because the rest of us aren’t as bi as they are." Where are these people? You want your mind to be “put at ease.” What do you want to be put at ease from? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/26 "2014-03-31T00:36:08Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …I don’t care what you are. Why would I care? > > You’ve made a lot of claims in this thread. I don’t know if those claims are based on something in reality or they’ve all come from your head. I suspect the latter. You’ve provided no proof of the former. In all my dealings with self-professed bi-sexuals I’ve seen none of the attitudes you’ve portrayed in this thread at all. If the attitudes you claim exist actually exist then it shouldn’t be hard for you to show us some examples. I’ve never known any bi-sexuals who “mostly complain.” I don’t know any that " bitch because the rest of us aren’t as bi as they are." Where are these people? > > You want your mind to be “put at ease.” What do you want to be put at ease from? Provide something of substance, or let everyone else judge you. You want to know on what I base my opinions? Google news bisexuality. You think you’ve got some sort of clever gotcha? Provide it. You irritate me, but not unexpectedly so. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/27 "2014-03-31T00:43:11Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Provide something of substance, or let everyone else judge you. You want to know on what I base my opinions? Google news bisexuality. > > You think you’ve got some sort of clever gotcha? Provide it. You irritate me, but not unexpectedly so. …google news murder and surprise! Murder is a problem! I’m not trying for a clever gotcha. I’ve asked you a few questions that you’ve done your absolute best to avoid. Where are these people you are talking about? Because they didn’t show up in a google news search. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/28 "2014-03-31T00:44:22Z")
WTH is a hateivist? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/29 "2014-03-31T00:50:37Z")
> [@Banquet\_Bear](#): > > …google news murder and surprise! Murder is a problem! > > I’m not trying for a clever gotcha. I’ve asked you a few questions that you’ve done your absolute best to avoid. Where are these people you are talking about? Because they didn’t show up in a google news search. This is probably the last I’ll respond to you, but I’d like to know why bisexual women are victims of abuse more than the mean, and I’d like to know why bisexuals suffer from depression and alcohol and drug abuse. You’d like to deny it all and attack me for my anti-bi prejudices. You can’t see how you’re missing the point? Bisexuals have a problem. I’d like to know what they need me (society) to know to fix it. You’re answer is to attack me. Good show there mate. That’ll help. Forgive me. It’s not a problem. Forget I asked. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/30 "2014-03-31T00:54:30Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Why don’t you give me something to work with other than … nothing. This is kind of a weird response. You’ve made a lot of claims in this thread about what bisexuals do, but not any evidence for any of these claims. The simplest explanation is that you’re wrong, and that’s the one that readers are probably going to go with, absent any cites of bisexuals doing these things you say they do. I’m genuinely curious and would like my ignorance fought on this subject. Do you have cites of either a significant number of bisexuals, or some significant voice among the bi community, mostly complaining? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/31 "2014-03-31T01:01:38Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > This is probably the last I’ll respond to you, but I’d like to know why bisexual women are victims of abuse more than the mean, and I’d like to know why bisexuals suffer from depression and alcohol and drug abuse. You’d like to deny it all and attack me for my anti-bi prejudices. You can’t see how you’re missing the point? Bisexuals have a problem. I’d like to know what they need me (society) to know to fix it. You’re answer is to attack me. Good show there mate. That’ll help. > > Forgive me. It’s not a problem. Forget I asked. _IF_ those things are true, it’s probably because “society” isn’t as accepting of bisexuals as we should be. “Fixing it” would just require people to act better and encourage others to as well. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/32 "2014-03-31T01:02:15Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > This is probably the last I’ll respond to you, but I’d like to know why bisexual women are victims of abuse more than the mean, and I’d like to know why bisexuals suffer from depression and alcohol and drug abuse. You’d like to deny it all and attack me for my anti-bi prejudices. You can’t see how you’re missing the point? Bisexuals have a problem. I’d like to know what they need me (society) to know to fix it. You’re answer is to attack me. Good show there mate. That’ll help. > > Forgive me. It’s not a problem. Forget I asked. …if this is what the thread was really about: you would have put some of this in the OP. But you seem to have added this in as an “afterthought.” You mis-characterize your position in this thread. When you ask the question “So bisexuals, what do the rest of us need to know that will set our minds at ease?”, you aren’t asking what the “collective we” can do to help. You are asking the “collective them” to put your mind at ease. And I still have no idea what you mean by that. I haven’t attacked you at all. This is the wrong forum for attacks. I’ve asked you questions and made some assumptions: you have been unable to answer those questions, and you’ve taken them as attacks. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/33 "2014-03-31T01:03:00Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > This is kind of a weird response. You’ve made a lot of claims in this thread about what bisexuals do, but not any evidence for any of these claims. The simplest explanation is that you’re wrong, and that’s the one that readers are probably going to go with, absent any cites of bisexuals doing these things you say they do. > > I’m genuinely curious and would like my ignorance fought on this subject. Do you have cites of either a significant number of bisexuals, or some significant voice among the bi community, mostly complaining? You’re asking me to fight your ignorance about what bisexuals want and need? Start your own thread. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/34 "2014-03-31T01:11:27Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > You’re asking me to fight your ignorance about what bisexuals want and need? …what is it that bisexuals are asking for? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/35 "2014-03-31T01:18:50Z")
Here’s a bunch of comics by a bisexual comic author that run down a lot of bi issues: [http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-1/](http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-1/) [http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-2/](http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-2/) [http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-3/](http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-3/) [http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-4/](http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/bisexuality-pt-4/) [http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/88/](http://kateordiecomics.com/archive/88/) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/36 "2014-03-31T01:29:30Z")
I read the New York Times article, and my takeaway was that the bisexual activists interviewed mostly just wanted the rest of the world to understand that bisexual people are real and not inherently any more dishonest or untrustworthy than gay people or straight people. They also talked about how a lot of bisexual people aren’t out, and how this makes it difficult to fight stereotypes about bisexuality. I didn’t find any of this to be confusing or mysterious, and I’m not sure what the OP wants to know that wasn’t addressed in the article. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/37 "2014-03-31T01:35:12Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I read the New York Times article, and my takeaway was that the bisexual activists interviewed mostly just wanted the rest of the world to understand that bisexual people are real and not inherently any more dishonest or untrustworthy than gay people or straight people. They also talked about how a lot of bisexual people aren’t out, and how this makes it difficult to fight stereotypes about bisexuality. > > I didn’t find any of this to be confusing or mysterious, and I’m not sure what the OP wants to know that wasn’t addressed in the article. Are bisexuals reasonably accepted into society or do they have problems, do you think? If they do have problems, do you have any thoughts about what to do about it? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/38 "2014-03-31T02:11:35Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Are bisexuals reasonably accepted into society or do they have problems, do you think? > > If they do have problems, do you have any thoughts about what to do about it? Are you looking for something other than the problems and solutions discussed in the article? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/39 "2014-03-31T04:09:06Z")
Bisexuals get upset when people question whether they really exist, and it’s very tiring to hear it. And friedo is right, there are a LOT of gay people who don’t believe that it’s possible to be bisexual. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918/40 "2014-03-31T04:13:50Z")
“Legalize SSM or we’ll marry your boyfriends. AND your girlfriends.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-bisexual-community-want-us-to-know/684918.md?page=3)