# What does the lady in this painting have in her lap? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 7, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520 "2008-09-07T19:16:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/21 "2008-09-08T16:02:25Z")
It’s great! It’s either a guitar or an ass depending on what you decide to see it as. It’s exactly like that woman/vase drawing, just less presentable. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/22 "2008-09-08T16:09:52Z")
It’s me, and I’m holding one of my corgis. That was before I changed back to my natural hair color. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/23 "2008-09-08T17:26:57Z")
The thing is I’d swear I’ve seen this before. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/24 "2008-09-08T17:41:35Z")
Giant, _giant_ boobs. Not hers; someone else’s. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/25 "2008-09-08T19:44:36Z")
The head of Alfredo Garcia. Or Chicken Alfredo. Not sure which. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/26 "2008-09-08T19:57:07Z")
I have to say that it looks like it’s probably a Guitar. But the above responses are a LOT more fun. It could also be: \*\*A very large cheesecake in its side Prince Albert, in a Can A small Millstone The Spare Wheel from Fred Flintstone’s Car The original film reels of Star Wars A Really Big Tinker-Toy, Before the holes are dtrilled into it. St. Joseph’s Aspirin for Paul Bunyan \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/27 "2008-09-08T20:01:54Z")
I went back to the site I saw it on, to see if the artist had other paintings of women with guitars, giant fruit, cheese, or severed body parts. Originally, I saw it in the “paintings” section. But on the item details it says it’s also listed under “musicians”. So, I guess it is a guitar. Here are the details. Try to refrain from clicking the “critique this art” link. 🙂 [http://yessy.com/mikemackellow/gallery.html?i=26418](http://yessy.com/mikemackellow/gallery.html?i=26418) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2008, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/28 "2008-09-08T22:34:20Z")
So yes it’s an artist. I knew I’d seen it before. Probably when I was looking for lady in red as a search. I thought at first it was a Frida Kahlo painting. She did some ugly stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/29 "2008-09-09T02:45:35Z")
Pregnant mandolin. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2008, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/30 "2008-09-09T02:53:02Z")
OK. Looking at it while thinking ‘guitar’, I can see a guitar. But up until then it looked like a bread box. Yes, I’m old enough to have seen one. It’s what people used back before bread came in plastic. The angle is what fools, because you expect a guitar to be bigger than a bread box. ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/31 "2008-09-11T01:55:45Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > Yeah, it’s a guitar, with a strap button visible. But I like the wedge of cheese answer better. It’s a guitar made _from_ a wedge of cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/32 "2008-09-11T01:59:13Z")
She has actually been impaled by a speeding cheese wedge. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/33 "2008-09-11T02:13:01Z")
It’s 14 k of g in a f p d ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/34 "2008-09-11T02:22:19Z")
I think it’s Shannon Dougherty spanking someone. Yeah, like she wasn’t the bad one. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/35 "2008-09-11T03:11:27Z")
At first I guessed a pillow but given the “musician” crossreference clue, I’d agree with guitar, but if it were held at that angle I would think the tip of its neck would show behind her back. Given the pictogram in the lower left corner, and my intitial guess, she seems to be Japanese or other Oriental. By the way, the handwritten note on the lower right corner says, “LADY (???WITNESS??? or someone’s name perhaps) IN REALLY UNFLATTERING DRESS”. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/36 "2008-09-11T03:36:28Z")
Judging from the expression on her face, it’s gotta be a wheel of over-ripe limburger cheese. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/37 "2008-09-11T04:12:04Z")
Clearly, Pac-Man’s trying to go down on her. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/38 "2008-09-11T05:08:53Z")
The most striking thing is that she appears to be sitting on thin air, when there’s a handy chair just a few feet to her left. ---
**Author:** ![jhinman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@jhinman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jhinman)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/39 "2008-09-11T07:40:51Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > Yeah, it’s a guitar, with a strap button visible. But I like the wedge of cheese answer better. But then the title would have been “redlady with cheese”. You know you are right it would be better. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520/40 "2008-09-11T14:38:39Z")
> [@Ignatz](#): > > At first I guessed a pillow but given the “musician” crossreference clue, I’d agree with guitar, but if it were held at that angle I would think the tip of its neck would show behind her back. Perhaps protruding _through_ her back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-does-the-lady-in-this-painting-have-in-her-lap/462520.md?page=3)