# What Eminently Mockable Names did your teachers have? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527 "2002-11-19T15:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/1 "2002-11-19T15:01:16Z")
Did your gradeschool teachers have names which just begged to be mocked by kids? Names so bad, you had to wonder, even as a child, why such a person would choose schoolteaching as a career without getting a legal namechange first? (This thread inspired by another one mentioning South Park’s “Ms. Choksondik”.) I can just remember two offhand - Mr. Doorflinger (who was about 7 feet tall, blond, mustached, and extremely effeminate, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it amused the younguns) and Mr. Udick (pronounced You Dick, which he certainly was.) Others? ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/2 "2002-11-19T15:19:33Z")
Freshman algebra: Mr LaGanke. Rhymes with “LaStank, LaTank” and any number of other delightful terms. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/3 "2002-11-19T15:30:02Z")
I had a history teacher in high school named Mister Baader (BAY-der). Substitute Master for Mister and see what you get. He also looked just like Captain Kangaroo, but was so well-respected that nobody ever dared mock him. Not so much mockable, but one of those names that matches the profession, my calculus teacher in high school was Sue Lucheon. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/4 "2002-11-19T15:30:05Z")
Well, they weren’t teachers,—but in high school our school doctor and nurse were named **Dr. Hertz** and **Mrs. Paine**. No foolin’—their door sign was in the yearbook every year. We did have a teacher named **Mrs. Greaser** , poor dear. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/5 "2002-11-19T15:34:58Z")
My elementary school principal was named Mr. Papiernick. We weren’t mocking him, exactly, but it just kept sliding out as Mister Paperclip… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/6 "2002-11-19T15:38:36Z")
My poor history teacher junior year was Miss Fortune. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/7 "2002-11-19T15:48:21Z")
Mr. Cavender --\> Mr. Cadaver ---
**Author:** ![Breezy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b3f665/32.png) [@Breezy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breezy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/8 "2002-11-19T15:52:00Z")
Mrs. Crumpacker ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/9 "2002-11-19T15:58:48Z")
Not a teacher, but a classmate: a poor girl with the last name of Head. Name or reputation? we would ask. Sorry about that. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/10 "2002-11-19T15:59:26Z")
Mr Whiffing ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/11 "2002-11-19T16:00:10Z")
Mrs. Mann would have been seriously mocked if she weren’t in her 20’s with long blond hair, and really good-looking… ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/12 "2002-11-19T16:01:36Z")
The physics teacher, Mr. Jack Offenbacher. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/13 "2002-11-19T16:04:25Z")
My college physics professor, Doctor Hu. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/14 "2002-11-19T16:15:44Z")
Mr. Aho…long “a”, long “o.” ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/15 "2002-11-19T16:22:26Z")
Mrs. Ruprecht. [Steve Martin]May I go to the bathroom?.. Thaaaaankyouuu[/SM] ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/16 "2002-11-19T16:26:13Z")
Third grade teacher: **Mrs. Longerbone**. I shit you not. She had a reputation for being really mean, though, so no one gave her any shit. She was a really good teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/17 "2002-11-19T16:26:28Z")
Mr. Cool – he wasn’t, really . . . At my college there was a professor from (?) Southeast Asia named Som Ghei. I never had him, but I heard the jokes: “Who’s your psych professor?” “Some guy . . .” My freshman year I had a biology prof who was ordinarily pretty geeky and stiff: Rodney Cyrus. He made fun of himself once, though, when we were learning to identify various trees; he siad we had no excuse for forgetting the name of the balding cypress tree, as he rubbed his own bald head. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/18 "2002-11-19T16:28:11Z")
Ooh! Ooh! I just remembered Mrs. Wideman – the fattest teacher I ever had. Fifth-graders can be so cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Jorel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jorel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorel)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/19 "2002-11-19T16:30:06Z")
Do guidance counselors count? Dick Condon ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/20 "2002-11-19T16:33:21Z")
Gym teacher from high school - Nick Dyck [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527.md?page=2)