# What Eminently Mockable Names did your teachers have? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527 "2002-11-19T15:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/81 "2002-11-20T11:14:58Z")
Sixth-form physics teacher; Mr Heelis. Universally (memorably on one occasion by one of his teaching colleagues) referred to as … _Syph_. ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/82 "2002-11-20T11:15:35Z")
Not a teacher I had, but a guy I play cricket with, and who teaches. In fact, who taught a few of the other players in the side. Wayne King. Why-oh-why do these people go into jobs that expose them to teenagers? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/83 "2002-11-20T12:12:12Z")
I had a Mr. Cocking for grade 9 social studies. Mr. Roach taught French. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/84 "2002-11-20T13:10:59Z")
Well, let’s see. There was “Mrs. Blizzard the lizard” in first grade and Mrs. Bannon the cannon" in third grade. In seventh grade, we had Mr. Dull and Mr. “Freaky” Freaudenhoven who were both suspected of being homosexual and having a thing with each other. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/85 "2002-11-20T14:18:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LindyHopper \* > \*\*Was this _Bambi_ Hu? At the University of Houston? (I was a grad student in physics at UH for a year.) > > Well, my high school had Mr. Dykes (who was really cool, so I never heard anyone make fun of him), Mrs. Flippo (never had her, but the entertainment possibilities are obvious), and Mr. Gooch. > > We also had Mr. Roark (da plane! da plane!). > > 🙂 \*\* Nah. Doctor Hu was a man (I’m assuming Bambi is a woman), and this was undergrad at University of North Texas. Spoke English only slightly better than I speak Cantonese. Never understood a word the guy said. I was thinking the other night…I wonder if it’s possible to page these people at the airport? “No, this is not a joke! I need to page _Some Guy_!! Please, it’s very important!” ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/86 "2002-11-20T17:18:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pravnik \* > **Nah. Doctor Hu was a man (I’m assuming Bambi is a woman), and this was undergrad at University of North Texas. Spoke English only slightly better than I speak Cantonese. Never understood a word the guy said.** Believe it or not, Bambi Hu was in fact a man. I was very surprised when I first met him, having only seen the name in print before. His English was pretty good, though. Never had him for a class, but almost got a research assistantship. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/87 "2002-11-20T17:36:16Z")
Grade six: the prinipal of my school was named Mr Swerdfeger. I leave the rest to your imagination. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/88 "2002-11-20T19:09:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by masonite \* > **Did your grade school teachers have names which just begged to be mocked by kids? Names so bad, you had to wonder, even as a child, why such a person would choose schoolteaching as a career without getting a legal namechange first?** Well, I remember back in school I encountered both a “Mr. Gay” and a “Mr. Fagg,” who were substitutes. In junior high, my shop teacher was “Mr. Marvel,” who surely at one time or another must have achieved the rank of Captain. My art teacher in high school was “Mrs. Merder.” No one ever crossed her for fear of finding out why she was “Mrs. Murder.” My drawing and art appreciation professor during my early years in college is the mother of the bassist for Bowling for Soup. Just thought I’d throw that out there. I figured Dad was putting me on, but he and Mom went to the same high school and she backs him up: their Vice-Principal (you know, in charge of “discipline”) was “Mr. Kill,” and he had a prosthetic hook in place of one of his hands! ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/89 "2002-11-20T20:24:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*Not a teacher, but clients of mine. > > George \*\*Aho \*\* Always very happy his first name was not Harry. > > Richard Seaman. > > Two exceptionally funny men. \*\* You aren’t anywhere near Evanston, Illinois, are you? I grew up there, and there was a Richard Seaman who was a grade-school teacher. (And yes, he actually chose to go by Dick, even when he ran for local office.) My pediatrician was Dr. Gerber, and I once had a pediatric dermatologist named Dr. Spot. My driver’s ed teacher was Mr. Miles. But the best was my 5th grade homeroom teeacher, who was Mrs. Ganja. Evanston was a wacky place to grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/90 "2002-11-20T20:51:26Z")
I remembered another one last night, an 8th grade social studies teacher by the name of Martino. There was a limerick about him, supposedly coined by the offbeat teacher from across the hall. > [@](#): > > There once was a man named Martino. > His nose, they said, was supremo. > One night in bed, > He slept on his head, > and his nose held up traffic in Reno. ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/91 "2002-11-20T21:24:02Z")
We had an attractive substitute teacher named Ms. Gillette. When she walked in the room you could always hear someone sing, “the best a man can get…” ---
**Author:** ![Nordic\_Pacer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/77aa72/32.png) [@Nordic\_Pacer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nordic_Pacer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/92 "2002-11-20T21:27:53Z")
There was a math teacher at my high school named Mr. Dick. Mr. _Harold_ Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Grasshopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Grasshopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grasshopper)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/93 "2002-11-20T21:58:29Z")
3rd grade - Mrs. Buck, Mrs. Dauler, and Mrs. Mooney. Middle school gym teacher, Mr. Hanlon who was accused of “improperly touching” girls and from then on was known as Mr. Hands On or Hand Job. Band director, Mr. Delly, who was replaced by Miss Hanna - there’s a Hanna Deli in downtown Cleveland. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/94 "2002-11-20T22:31:32Z")
At my college, there is a professor in the English department named Mrs Male. In High School there was a polish-american teacher by the name of Mr. Goetze (can’t remember the spelling) but it was very easily pronounced as Mr. Goat cheese by the students. Poor guy didn’t know enough english to even get the joke ☹ The funniest name I think I’ve seen wasn’t a teacher- when attending my cousin’s graduation I happened to see a particularly funny name- Long Hung Wang. The best part was he graduated _cum laude_ so in the program it listed him as Long Hung Wang cum laude…I must have been laughing for ten minutes straight over that one. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/95 "2002-11-20T22:51:35Z")
My 6th grade teacher was Mrs. Screws. I once knew a philosophy professor named Gray Cox. Geez, I never saw one that color. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/96 "2002-11-20T23:15:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pravnik \* > \*\*Nah. Doctor Hu was a man (I’m assuming Bambi is a woman), and this was undergrad at University of North Texas. Spoke English only slightly better than I speak Cantonese. Never understood a word the guy said. > > I was thinking the other night…I wonder if it’s possible to page these people at the airport? “No, this is not a joke! I need to page _Some Guy_!! Please, it’s very important!” \*\* * * * (slight hijack but kinda in the neighborhood): You just reminded me of something I saved on a floppy disk–a 514kb bit of fun called “Morons at Heathrow.” One guy would ask for someone to be paged while his friend taped the resulting announcement from the loudspeaker. of course, all the “names” were phony and came out sounding like very naughty or gross sentences. I’ll make a copy and send it if anybody wants one. ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/97 "2002-11-20T23:26:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Poysyn \* > \*\*Gym teacher from high school - Nick Dyck \*\* I also had a Mr. Dick. He had a really bad comb-over and was bit of a flamer. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/98 "2002-11-21T00:16:29Z")
I had a professor in college named Dr. Dick. Dr. Richard Dick. ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/99 "2002-11-21T00:58:42Z")
**Richard Pullin.** I used to see him quoted in the student paper and always assumed it was a made up name used to poke fun at the ineptitude of the Co-op Department. Y’know, like _Ima Clod_ or _Buck Futt_. Nope. He was the real deal. Sent me to Northern Manitoba to work in the dead of winter, too. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527/100 "2002-11-21T01:23:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*(slight hijack but kinda in the neighborhood): You just reminded me of something I saved on a floppy disk–a 514kb bit of fun called “Morons at Heathrow.” One guy would ask for someone to be paged while his friend taped the resulting announcement from the loudspeaker. of course, all the “names” were phony and came out sounding like very naughty or gross sentences. > > I’ll make a copy and send it if anybody wants one. \*\* Is it this? [London Airport Announcements](http://www.msxnet.org/humour/london-airport-announcements) My favorite is "My colleague just . . " [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-eminently-mockable-names-did-your-teachers-have/137527.md?page=6)