# What event officializes a 1 on 1 relationship? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277 "2008-12-15T19:53:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![petew83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@petew83](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/petew83)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/1 "2008-12-15T19:53:39Z")
What event officializes a 1 on 1 relationship? It’s a very fuzzy question and I’m curious what people generally think. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/2 "2008-12-15T19:54:57Z")
Explain exactly what a 1 on 1 relationship is, and what it means for it to be officialized, and I’ll tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/3 "2008-12-15T20:12:19Z")
Whenever she starts expecting me to be monogamous. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/4 "2008-12-15T20:13:04Z")
When one 1 and the other 1 have a discussion and agree to be exclusive. Period. Any other definition is just asking for trouble. I venture to bet you’re going to get wildly different answers about what constitutes an exclusive relationship in this thread, proving my point. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/5 "2008-12-15T20:23:29Z")
I agree with Santo - assuming anything isn’t a good idea. That said you can fall afoul of the “You did what?!?!? I thought we were exclusive! Right, it’s over” thing that people sometimes do. Not experienced it myself but then I’m gay and we’re all promiscuous bed jumpers so it doesn’t really come up. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/6 "2008-12-15T20:46:51Z")
> [@petew83](#): > > What event officializes a 1 on 1 relationship? It’s a very fuzzy question and I’m curious what people generally think. I agree - it’s very fuzzy. I’m still unsure as to exactly when my wife and I had started dating. I think it’s safe to say that you know you’re in a one on one relationship after eight and half years of marriage and three kids. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/7 "2008-12-15T20:53:59Z")
With my boyfriend and I we talked about it and determined that, though we were just dating, we wouldn’t sleep with other people without breaking things off first. Then a few weeks later we had another discussion and made things official, meaning that we were boyfriend/girlfriend instead of just FWB. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/8 "2008-12-15T20:55:22Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > With my boyfriend and I we talked about it and determined that, though we were just dating, we wouldn’t sleep with other people without breaking things off first. Then a few weeks later we had another discussion and made things official, meaning that we were boyfriend/girlfriend instead of just FWB. And then your boyfriend told me he’d fuck me if he was gay. In front of you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/9 "2008-12-15T20:59:41Z")
Chiming in to agree with **Rugger**. If that discussion hasn’t happened, you cannot presume to be in an exclusive relationship. In my experience, guys seem to operate on this principle more often, while many women assume there is some sort of “unspoken agreement” to be monogamous, which there may or may not be. I empathize with these girls, because it does seem like our emotions make us prone to make this mistake, but you simply _have_ to have that discussion first. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/10 "2008-12-15T21:01:12Z")
A conversation about it. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/11 "2008-12-15T21:03:47Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > And then your boyfriend told me he’d fuck me if he was gay. In front of you. > > 😃 Too bad for you he isn’t gay…you are totally missing out! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Agonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@Agonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agonist)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/12 "2008-12-15T22:23:19Z")
I’m stuck on the word “officialize.” Wouldn’t that require some sort of ritual or exchange of vows in front of witnesses or something? Such a vague question, and people can interpret it in many ways. But, unless the answer you’re looking for is “wedding”, I have to agree that it’s official when the two people involved agree that it’s official. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/13 "2008-12-15T23:02:58Z")
The heart of conspiracy is in the agreement. 😃 There is no triggering event absent an agreement. If you are not sure, you should ask. If you don’t feel asking would be appropriate, you’re definitely not there yet. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/14 "2008-12-15T23:16:38Z")
Girls often like it when you’re kind of formal about these things. I recommend whacking her on the forehead with your penis like you’re knighting her. Tell her she’s joining a sacred order, and then show her pictures of everyone else you’ve ever slept with, with critical commentary on why they failed to measure up to your standards. Finally, give her something to work toward – tell her she can earn a formal title once you deem her worthy. Something fun, like Lady Receptacle. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/15 "2008-12-15T23:33:58Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Girls often like it when you’re kind of formal about these things. I recommend whacking her on the forehead with your penis like you’re knighting her. Tell her she’s joining a sacred order, and then show her pictures of everyone else you’ve ever slept with, with critical commentary on why they failed to measure up to your standards. Finally, give her something to work toward – tell her she can earn a formal title once you deem her worthy. Something fun, like Lady Receptacle. I like your general approach but not the type of rewards you describe. Women like jewelry with lots of glitter to make them feel like a princess. A better strategy is to have a prize list where they can earn anything from a “pearl necklace” to a “golden shower” if they simply stick with it long enough and bend over backwards to do an exceptional job. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/16 "2008-12-15T23:45:25Z")
furniture purchase. I pretty much thought, after we bought the 48" big screen TV, “Hubba Hubba, this is pretty serious!” ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/17 "2008-12-15T23:57:09Z")
If big screen TV counts as pretty serious, what does a joint mortgage say? Because, y’know, we haven’t had “the talk” yet… so I just want to be sure if I need to point-blank ask him if we’re actually Going Steady or if I’m still a free agent. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![petew83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@petew83](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/petew83)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/18 "2008-12-16T00:53:39Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Girls often like it when you’re kind of formal about these things. I recommend whacking her on the forehead with your penis like you’re knighting her. Tell her she’s joining a sacred order, and then show her pictures of everyone else you’ve ever slept with, with critical commentary on why they failed to measure up to your standards. Finally, give her something to work toward – tell her she can earn a formal title once you deem her worthy. Something fun, like Lady Receptacle. Ok so this managed to fill my laughter quota for the day. By 1 on 1 relationship, I mean the kind where the girl calls you her boyfriend and vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/19 "2008-12-16T02:07:27Z")
I said, “I think we should date each other exclusively.” She said, “I do, too.” Until those words (or a reasonable facsimile) are uttered, it’s all guesswork and presumption, and someone’s bound to get hurt if they assume it’s exclusive. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277/20 "2008-12-16T02:27:46Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Too bad for you he isn’t gay…you are totally missing out! 😃 Man, I miss all the good stuff. um, that’s not what I meant… I meant the conversation, and **Illuminati** … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-event-officializes-a-1-on-1-relationship/477277.md?page=2)