# "What" exactly are "you" trying to "say"?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-are-you-trying-to-say/77175>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [August 20, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-are-you-trying-to-say/77175 "2001-08-20T16:59:02Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-are-you-trying-to-say/77175/41 "2001-08-21T22:44:08Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by The Ryan \*  
> \*\*The proper character is Dr. Evil. “If they don’t pay my ransom, I will attack their cities with the ‘laser’. This ‘laser’ will cause massive destruction.” Every time you speak with the people responsible for the newsletter, you should randomly raise two fingers of each hand and flex them in the “quote” gesture.  
> \*\*

Oddly enough, the word of the day at my office is:

“Magma”

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**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-are-you-trying-to-say/77175/42 "2001-08-22T00:43:06Z")

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Aaargh! This reminds me of a guy I work with whom I’ll call “Lance” (because my boss likes to call him “Lance”, even though that’s not his real name.)

I recently had to create a website for “Lance”, who suffers from this same mysterious affliction. Every piece of content he sent me for the website had to be stripped of numerous extraneous quotation marks just to be intelligible. I started to speculate that perhaps he had read some kind of management book (_Who Removed My Quotes?_) that advocated the use of quotation marks as the quickest path to untold success and riches. Maybe the people sending e-mail to **Fenris** have read a similar book.

At least it’s nice to see that I’m not the only one facing this annoyance.

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**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-are-you-trying-to-say/77175/43 "2001-08-28T18:27:30Z")

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In today’s paper there was an ad for a house.  
Among the home’s features are a Master Bedroom “Suite” and an In-Ground “Heated” Swimming Pool.  
It makes it rather funny to have those two words in quotes…as if the real estate agent said, “It’s just a bedroom with a bathroom. Let’s call it a suite” and “Yeah, the pool is heated…by the sun!”

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-are-you-trying-to-say/77175/44 "2001-08-28T18:44:26Z")

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I pass by a poster at work every day which reads:

Do your speaking skills need a “little” help?

This replaced the poster which read:

You are Company Name.  
You are Quality.  
Company Name is Quality.

which caused me to think

I am American.  
I am White.  
Americans are White.

which I don’t think is the message they were trying to get across…

I can’t wait to see what signs go up as we head into the United Way season.

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-are-you-trying-to-say/77175/45 "2001-08-28T22:01:04Z")

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I liked Carlin’s take on this, where he said “Bite me!” Then did the air quotes over his crotch.

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