# What, exactly, constitutes as being "bad in bed?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 28, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072 "2003-05-28T17:54:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/41 "2003-05-29T04:14:37Z")
Minute must die slow, painful deaths. Or at least work on lasting longer than the commercial break. ---
**Author:** ![arachnidlove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@arachnidlove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arachnidlove)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/42 "2003-05-29T05:34:05Z")
I had an ex who was bad in bed. Great guy but he thought he was a jackhammer. Add that to the fact that he told me “It distracts me when you move around” and thats where the bad in bed comes from. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/43 "2003-05-29T15:53:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by arachnidlove \* > **Add that to the fact that he told me "It distracts me when you move around"** :eek: That’s really creepy. Really, really creepy. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/44 "2003-05-29T16:10:50Z")
I knew a certain guy who felt the need to re-enact every porno flick he’d ever seen, and it was so contrived and phony. I always felt as if he were trying to perform for the benefit of some imaginary spectator in the room. Also, men who weigh 200 lbs should know enough to support some of their own weight themselves… I’m small, and being crushed isn’t all that pleasurable, for me at least. Bad kissing is definitely a big turn-off, but I’ve only known one guy who did that consistently. He did this weird, teeth grinding against my teeth thing, and it was unpleasant at best, painful at worst. (shudder) ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/45 "2003-05-29T16:11:53Z")
It is fairly impossible to have good sex with anyone who is one or more of the following things: rude, rough, lazy, perfunctory, smelly, violent, boring, humourless, selfish, distant, clingy, paranoid, majorly insecure, arrogant, stubborn and easily tired. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/46 "2003-05-29T17:10:24Z")
It’s too hard to explain. I’d have to show you. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/47 "2003-05-29T17:26:34Z")
Okay, to all of the men here–cover your eyes. I’m about to divulge a long-held secret. I may be ostrasized for this but, here goes: _ **Size does matter!** _ I was with a guy who, I swear to God, he was no more than 3 inches. He kept falling out of me. It was the worst sex I ever had. Now, on the bright side, I’m not talking about having to be 8 inches. Anything 5 and up is fine with me. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/48 "2003-05-29T17:34:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dangerosa \* > \*\*\ As well as the one minute wonder, you have the one hour wonder. “Look, I’m impressed with your stamina, but I stopped having fun and just started getting sore about twenty minutes ago, could you just come already?” (Was it a bad sign that I actually said that to my ex husband back when we were dating?) > > Foreplay can take hours. The bouncy bouncy stuff can get old after about twenty minutes. \\*\* My ex-bf was about a three-minute man (I could NEVER come until he was done). And I have no idea where he got the impression that he ever made me come from oral sex. Not in two years. When we were dating, my hubby pulled the “look at my stamina!!” thing. ONCE. It hurts after a while!! If I start to be more concerned with how bad my back is going to hurt the next day than with what’s going on in bed, that’s just wrong!!! Oh - and any man who says “Oh yeah, suck my cock like a whore” just needs to be shot - even if he IS drunk when he says it!! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/49 "2003-05-29T17:50:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nutty Bunny \* > \*\*Okay, to all of the men here–cover your eyes. I’m about to divulge a long-held secret. I may be ostrasized for this but, here goes: > > _ **Size does matter!** _ > > I was with a guy who, I swear to God, he was no more than 3 inches. He kept falling out of me. It was the worst sex I ever had. > > Now, on the bright side, I’m not talking about having to be 8 inches. Anything 5 and up is fine with me. \*\* I’d take “falling out but inventive” over “it just won’t fit-OW!” anyday. :smack: I seriously pity the guys with the super-sized stuff. There is no thrill whatsoever about swallowing repeatedly to make my cervix go back to it’s original position. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/50 "2003-05-29T18:08:44Z")
Preach it, **Queen Tonya**! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/51 "2003-05-29T18:17:53Z")
Stopping midway to carve a notch on the headboard. Not good. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/52 "2003-05-29T18:50:16Z")
_pauses, can’t believe he is still going to type this…_ Umm, about the whole cervix thing, do most of you gals find it unpleasant to have it hit? For my gf it is about the bestest thing ever so she says. I’m always happy to oblige, it’s not too hard (heh) to manage and can elicit some very interesting results;) ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/53 "2003-05-29T19:04:31Z")
**MikeG** , I like to have it hit, but not so hard that it hurts. Forget the G-spot! I can sometimes have a vaginal orgasm if my cervix is hit just right. In fact, it’ll give me the kind of orgasm that has me sobbing uncontrollably. My husband never knows how to take it. I tell him it’s a high compliment. 😉 Now, if you’re _too_ big, that’s not cool. We don’t want you IN the uterus. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![angelabaca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@angelabaca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelabaca)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/54 "2003-05-29T19:14:48Z")
Bad in bed = my pseudo-boyfriend. all he does is stick it in and pump for a bit until he meets the end, then rolls over and flips channels. All around bad for several resons: 1.) Does not involve me in the act. It could be me, some other girl, his hand or a pit bull, he wouldn’t notice. 2.) Does not respond to my pleas of “touch me here” or “Do this and that”. 3.) He can’t read my actions: like when I am trying to move to change positions. With him it’s missionary for 3 minutes and then he’s done. 4.) Poor etiquette. He has yet to get me off once in the 3 years we’ve been sleeping together. I stopped faking about a year and a half ago and he hasn’t noticed. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/55 "2003-05-29T19:15:44Z")
Sometimes having my cervix hit isn’t so bad, but it’s certainly never fun. At best it’s mildly uncomfortable, at worst it hurts like a bitch. And no, I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase "bad in bed’, but I _have_ heard the phrase “couldn’t fuck worth a damn” more than once. One friend used to talk about her ex, and her analysis started with “infant-sized” and went downhill from there. Anyone whose idea of foreplay consists solely of “Honk, honk! Wanna do it?” is bad in bed. ---
**Author:** ![angelabaca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@angelabaca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelabaca)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/56 "2003-05-29T19:20:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nutty Bunny \* > **it’ll give me the kind of orgasm that has me sobbing uncontrollably. My husband never knows how to take it. I tell him it’s a high compliment.** I hate having to explain that. It’s like, let me cry, it’s a good thing, just accept it. But everytime it happens, they always freak out. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/57 "2003-05-29T19:24:42Z")
Damn, Angela, no wonder you were thinking about sleeping with your ex. Out of curiosity, _why_ in the nine thousand names of God do you continue to have sex with this asshat? ---
**Author:** ![angelabaca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@angelabaca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelabaca)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/58 "2003-05-29T19:31:57Z")
Because he’s there. And I don’t want to go on the quest for the perfect fuck. And new penises scare me. and… the sobbing thing only happened with the ex, so, you know… ---
**Author:** ![BytopianDream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9de0a6/32.png) [@BytopianDream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BytopianDream)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/59 "2003-05-29T21:21:46Z")
One bad in bed: Wild and unihibited… supposedly. We can only do it if she’s on top and I’m dead silent. She proceeds to scratch and bite me terribly. I never acheive orgasm. I lost an erection once. AnotherBiB: Fun and exciting… until she starts completely throwing off my rhythm in every way. I swear she thought she was in a porn. She did all the porn star stuff. It was cheesy, awful and unsexy. ---
**Author:** ![altoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@altoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/altoid)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072/60 "2003-05-29T22:20:54Z")
Sorry to steer this thread a bit off of the original question, but I thought I might add another thought. A friend of mine was sleeping with an acquaintance of mine for a while and getting treated badly by him. Of course in his streak of assjack behavior, he had to tell somebody that she was _gasp_ “bad in bed”. And yes, it did get back to her. So she asked me this “bad in bed” question while she was crying about his comment. Thinking back to what the guy had said, he had accused many women of such a thing as being bad in bed. I told her that this guy had a habit of saying this about various women. (Perhaps I would have been a bit nicer about his behavior, but it was a tough question at a difficult moment.) Needless to say, many women now know that he says such things. So, a word to the wise: someone may indeed be “bad in bed”, an evil ex- may deserve many bad things said about them, but don’t tell _anyone_ that someone is “bad in bed”. (Not only is it really mean, but it might impact your future chances of getting any.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-constitutes-as-being-bad-in-bed/178072.md?page=4)