# What exactly happens during the Maintenance **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [June 25, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144 "2004-06-25T03:59:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/1 "2004-06-25T03:59:55Z")
I’ve always wondered what the crazy hamsters do when the boards go down for maintenance. Do they get to take a water break? What happens? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/2 "2004-06-25T04:49:26Z")
We can’t say more than that it involves thirteen black candles, a goat head, and a bucket of soapy frogs. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/3 "2004-06-25T11:42:14Z")
As I understood it from my mod days, the database is just taken off-line for back up. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/4 "2004-06-25T13:34:26Z")
That’s what he’s telling _you_. My money’s on the soapy frogs. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/5 "2004-06-25T14:06:08Z")
Whoa! I wonder where it’s backed up? On-line or off? That would take a tremendous amount of space, wouldn’t it? Or do they do it completely with text, without the silly colors and images? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/6 "2004-06-25T14:29:46Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > Whoa! I wonder where it’s backed up? On-line or off? That would take a tremendous amount of space, wouldn’t it? Or do they do it completely with text, without the silly colors and images? Actually, all new posts are hand written in cursive on vellum for permanent preservation. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/7 "2004-06-25T17:58:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Whoa! I wonder where it’s backed up? On-line or off? That would take a tremendous amount of space, wouldn’t it? Or do they do it completely with text, without the silly colors and images? Off line. I assume on some kinda tape drive. And what actually gets backed up is the underlying post database (plus the member database, the search indexes, the page templates, etc.) from which your requests for data (mouse clicks) are extracted, assembled and rendered for display in your browser. The back up doesn’t actually store each page as you actually view them, In fact, the pages don’t really exist, as such; they’re generated only when a mouse click requests one. Size of back up? See what jdavis said [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2452782&postcount=34) on 09-20-2002. I’m sure it’s a hell of a lot bigger now. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/8 "2004-06-25T18:04:23Z")
Cursive? Feh. Calligraphy would be more like it. It was really a bitch teaching the hamsters to grip those quills. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/9 "2004-06-25T18:45:33Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > My money’s on the soapy frogs. I have something else on the soapy frogs. _—bow chicka bow bow—_ ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/10 "2004-06-25T23:09:41Z")
Until someone authoritative wanders along, I’m guessing the CR is using something like DLT or Sony’s AIT. Unless the CR recently bought the latest and greatest super-fast tape drives, they’re probably using one that chugs along at something like 10 megabytes per second. Taking a wild-assed extrapolation from Uncle Beer’s reference and assuming a 5 GB database now, that would take about 9 minutes to copy down to tape. (I don’t wnat to know how long it takes to back up our new 1.3 TB servers at work! Yes, that’s a T, as in terabyte.) And no, they don’t need to be around to change tapes. The current incarnation of AIT (called AIT-3) holds 100 GB, uncompressed, on a tape. The original AIT holds around 35 GB per tape. So, let’s be generous and say it takes 15 minutes end to end to load a tape, lock the database and back it up. What’s happening in the rest of the time? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/11 "2004-06-26T12:30:28Z")
The tapes have to be pulled out and hand-cleaned. The server needs to be cleaned with an air-blower, and dusted carefully. The computer clock has been running a few minutes slow each day and needs to be reset. The freeble needs to be cleared and re-booted. The hamsters need to be fed and watered, the bottom of their cage changed, the wheels cleaned off. Sheeeesh. Why do you care? What, you want to volunteer to come and do the job for no pay, since you can obviously be so much faster than the folks who actually know what they’re doing? [Remainder of post has been moved to the Pit] ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/12 "2004-06-26T13:08:08Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > Sheeeesh. Why do you care? What, you want to volunteer to come and do the job for no pay, since you can obviously be so much faster than the folks who actually know what they’re doing? [Remainder of post has been moved to the Pit] Are you insinuating that the people who work at the Reader do it for free? That’s what I call profit!~ ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/13 "2004-06-26T13:08:48Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > (I don’t wnat to know how long it takes to back up our new 1.3 TB servers at work! Yes, that’s a T, as in terabyte.) It takes about 12hrs to backup 8TB for our mainframe alone. Our servers are about 2TB on an ATL spanned across many tape volumes. And that’s just one of our ATL’s But I don’t think the SDMB is that large. Well, not yet! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/14 "2004-06-26T17:26:42Z")
You are forgetting the most important part – **jdavis** and his team of fnord dedicated professionals go through the content from the previous day to remove any fnordrevelations about the connection between **Cecil, Ed** , the Chicago Reader, and the fnordMods, on the one hand, and the Illuminati Conspiracy on the fnordother. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/15 "2004-06-26T20:30:48Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > The tapes have to be pulled out and hand-cleaned. The server needs to be cleaned with an air-blower, and dusted carefully. The computer clock has been running a few minutes slow each day and needs to be reset. The freeble needs to be cleared and re-booted. The hamsters need to be fed and watered, the bottom of their cage changed, the wheels cleaned off. > > Sheeeesh. Why do you care? What, you want to volunteer to come and do the job for no pay, since you can obviously be so much faster than the folks who actually know what they’re doing? [Remainder of post has been moved to the Pit] Umm… I just wondered. It’s not like I’m complaining about it being down then, (I’m usually not even awake,) but I didn’t know. And I wanted to know. So there. 😛 lol. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/16 "2004-06-26T21:17:14Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > That’s what he’s telling _you_. My money’s on the soapy frogs. Now that’s gonna get it all wet and slippery! 😃 And what if they hop away? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/17 "2004-06-26T21:19:56Z")
_Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven:_ > [@](#): > > The freeble needs to be cleared and re-booted. I would assume that you have to go to Koby’s or Payless and get another boot now and then, as well. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/18 "2004-06-28T19:21:11Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > The tapes have to be pulled out and hand-cleaned. The server needs to be cleaned with an air-blower, and dusted carefully. The computer clock has been running a few minutes slow each day and needs to be reset. The freeble needs to be cleared and re-booted. The hamsters need to be fed and watered, the bottom of their cage changed, the wheels cleaned off. > > Sheeeesh. Why do you care? What, you want to volunteer to come and do the job for no pay, since you can obviously be so much faster than the folks who actually know what they’re doing? [Remainder of post has been moved to the Pit] Awww… We need something to care about! If nothing else, it makes the hamsters feel loved. All this cleaning - is the server living in an old fridge box under the El tracks? As for the clock - I know it sounds odd to use a timer to fix a funky clock, but that sounds like a great job for a cron. Or you may want to talk with Com Ed about getting a bit more voltage. (Or just tap onto that third rail.) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/19 "2004-06-29T16:17:42Z")
**Dex** , you forgot the part where they oil the hamsters. . . . ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144/20 "2004-06-29T16:46:02Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > **Dex** , you forgot the part where they oil the hamsters. . . . For shame! You forget that Those Who Know the Secret are pledged never to speak of the administration of lube to the hamsters – or what happens after!! :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-happens-during-the-maintenance/252144.md?page=2)