# What, exactly, is a "dad bod" and why tf are they considered attractive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2019, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388 "2019-08-29T01:04:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/1 "2019-08-29T01:04:11Z")
As far as i can tell, “dad bod” simply means a regular-ish guy who hasn’t spent any time worrying about his weight, physical fitness or appearance and has a soft, flabby body. These qualities, referred to a “dad bod” are increasingly (seemingly) seen as physically attractive qualities by hetero women. I don’t understand, physical fitness and attention to self-care are _unattractive_ qualities to (at least some) hetero women looking at hetero men? I’d appreciate hearing from women dopers who are attracted to this body type and help me fight my ignorance. I understand being attracted to a person who isnt _vain_ and doesn’t spend inordinate amounts of time on superficial pursuits, etc. But there is a vast excluded middle between “vain and superficial” and “overweight and utterly unconcerned by your _own_ appearance”. I italicized “own” appearance because as befuddled and out of touch as this strange new wrinkle in how we define sexual attraction has made me feel, i think i can say pretty confidently that a corresponding “mom bods are sexy” movement isnt on our horizon at all. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/2 "2019-08-29T01:13:40Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > As far as i can tell, “dad bod” simply means a regular-ish guy who hasn’t spent any time worrying about his weight, physical fitness or appearance and has a soft, flabby body. These qualities, referred to a “dad bod” are increasingly (seemingly) seen as physically attractive qualities by hetero women. ‘dad bod’ was just one of those Twitter phrases of the week from 5-6 years ago. The whole thing went like: _Twitter rando #1:_ Dads have a certain type of bod. We’ll call it ‘dad bod’. It is very funny to say the word ‘dad bod’. _Twitter rando #1:_ Haha I like dad bod it means you aren’t too serious about your body _10,000 huffy Medium posts:_ Typical double standards for men. Let’s start making mom bods a thing! But it’s not real, it was never real, it was just another hashtag for people to joke or get pissed about. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/3 "2019-08-29T01:13:56Z")
A few points : -My wife has had two kids, and she’s sexy as hell. So, yeah, mom bods are hot. -I think the idea behind the “dad bods” are sexy idea implies that when a guy has kids, he loses a lot (a LOT) of time that he previously used to go to the gym. But, he now is fathering children. And if he’s a good dad then his mate will associate his less-fit body with the fact that he’s being a dad. An yeah, being a good dad is sexy as hell to Mom. -Why you gotta hate -This thread will not end well ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/4 "2019-08-29T01:20:18Z")
[Some other person’s take on the subject.](https://www.babble.com/relationships/what-the-dad-bod-teaches-us-about-our-mom-bods/) > [@](#): > > Mackenzie Pearson was kind enough to define and fetishize the “dad bod” for us in a recent article in which she described her roommate’s fascination with the physical look of a man who has a “nice balance between a beer gut and working out.” […] > > As I was reading about all of this silly “dad bod” talk, I had to concede that my husband probably has the stereotypical dad bod — he’s a former football player, a big guy with muscles that can tackle any physical labor, carry four kids up the stairs, but he’s also clearly not spending hours at the gym. And honestly, I do prefer a husband who is not obsessed with his appearance, but the irony that we see dads who are a little out of shape as somehow physical proof of their better abilities as a father, while moms are actually worse mothers if they’ve “let themselves go” or are not caring for themselves, is incredibly frustrating. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > I don’t understand, physical fitness and attention to self-care are _unattractive_ qualities to (at least some) hetero women looking at hetero men? I’d appreciate hearing from women dopers who are attracted to this body type and help me fight my ignorance. I wouldn’t describe myself as a “dad bod” fancier, but I don’t really care for its opposite, the “buff” “gym bunny” look or whatever is the preferred term for that: I mean guys who look “ripped” with enlarged muscles and a lot of definition. Absolutely nothing wrong with going for that look if you like it, but not everyone finds it attractive. I agree that strength and fitness are physically attractive qualities in men, but not everyone feels that “more is better” in that regard. If a guy is basically healthy but somewhat flabby or somewhat skinny, that can be more appealing than the really sculpted weightlifter bod if you don’t happen to be into the weightlifter bod. Why? Who knows? Why do some guys love really big boobs on women and others prefer small ones? It’s all a matter of personal idiosyncrasy. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/5 "2019-08-29T01:29:07Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > A few points : > > -My wife has had two kids, and she’s sexy as hell. So, yeah, mom bods are hot. > > -I think the idea behind the “dad bods” are sexy idea implies that when a guy has kids, he loses a lot (a LOT) of time that he previously used to go to the gym. But, he now is fathering children. And if he’s a good dad then his mate will associate his less-fit body with the fact that he’s being a dad. An yeah, being a good dad is sexy as hell to Mom. > > -Why you gotta hate > > -This thread will not end well First of all, not hating. Simply seeking knowledge. And just because you think your wife and mother of your kids is hot, does not mean “mom bod” has become a sought after quality that other men look for in women in general. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/6 "2019-08-29T01:33:32Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > [Some other person’s take on the subject.](https://www.babble.com/relationships/what-the-dad-bod-teaches-us-about-our-mom-bods/) > > I wouldn’t describe myself as a “dad bod” fancier, but I don’t really care for its opposite, the “buff” “gym bunny” look or whatever is the preferred term for that: I mean guys who look “ripped” with enlarged muscles and a lot of definition. Absolutely nothing wrong with going for that look if you like it, but not everyone finds it attractive. > > I agree that strength and fitness are physically attractive qualities in men, but not everyone feels that “more is better” in that regard. If a guy is basically healthy but somewhat flabby or somewhat skinny, that can be more appealing than the really sculpted weightlifter bod if you don’t happen to be into the weightlifter bod. Why? Who knows? Why do some guys love really big boobs on women and others prefer small ones? It’s all a matter of personal idiosyncrasy. This is exactly what i was referring to by “vast excluded middle”. Its not a choice between ripped/muscle-bound and beer belly/dad bod. There is the man who works out 3-4 times a week and makes at least some effort to eat wisely. And it’s _not_ just some ancient hashtag from twitter. I’m seeing/hearing more and more women saying how much they love a man with a dad bod. Memes galore. Facebook posts. Real life exclamations. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/7 "2019-08-29T01:34:15Z")
It could be as my wife’s nightshirt says “_curvy bodies cuddle better_” ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/8 "2019-08-29T01:40:27Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > First of all, not hating. Simply seeking knowledge. OK, I’ll stipulate that you’re not hating. But you’re not seeking knowledge. You’re pissed because dad bods are getting more attention than you. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > And just because you think your wife and mother of your kids is hot, does not mean “mom bod” has become a sought after quality that other men look for in women in general. Depends on the man, I guess. Are there “not hot” moms? Yeah, sure. But there are lots of hot moms who aren’t size 2 marathonercrossfitgymrats. ETA, just for the sake of civility, I ignored the implication that my wife is not hot and that I only think she is because she’s mine. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/9 "2019-08-29T01:42:08Z")
> [@PoppaSan](#): > > It could be as my wife’s nightshirt says “_curvy bodies cuddle better_” A beer belly _is_ curvy, i guess. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/10 "2019-08-29T01:44:23Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > This is exactly what i was referring to by “vast excluded middle”. Its not a choice between ripped/muscle-bound and beer belly/dad bod. I think most people’s perception of “dad bod” would probably fall somwhere in what you’re calling the “excluded middle”. Considering that according to the article I linked to, a lot of people seem to put _Parks and Rec_-era Chris Pratt in the “dad bod” category, you seem to be the one with a rather exaggerated vision for the definition of “dad bod”. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/11 "2019-08-29T01:44:34Z")
You seem to have the mistaken belief that people can only be sexy based on their physical fitness. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/12 "2019-08-29T01:51:00Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > OK, I’ll stipulate that you’re not hating. But you’re not seeking knowledge. You’re pissed because dad bods are getting more attention than you. > > Depends on the man, I guess. Are there “not hot” moms? Yeah, sure. But there are lots of hot moms who aren’t size 2 marathonercrossfitgymrats. What? You’re funny. Im _happily_ not single. And definitely not pissed. Maybe a little dubious at the entire phenomenon but thats it. I’m seeking knowledge, whether you’d like to believe that or not. And im not asking about whether individual mothers are “hot” or not. But now that you bring it up, I’d be curious as to what separates the “not hot” moms from the “hot” moms? “Mom bod” implies that some of the traits generally stereotypically considered unattractive related to pregnancy are actually attractive. Things like weight gain, stretch marks, etc. Those things shouldnt work _against_ those moms who are considered “not hot”, not if one is saying “mom bods” are sexy. And I’d really like to here from non-married women who enjoy the dad bod. I understand a married woman saying she’s into a “dad bod” because her life partner happens to have one. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/13 "2019-08-29T01:52:03Z")
So far as I have seen among my friends, once they get a girlfriend, their girl always tries to fatten them up. My fiancee directly told me to put on weight. I don’t think they’re looking for weak, they just like men with a little meat - the same as most guys prefer a woman with some curves. The popular conception of beauty, for both men and women, has been defined by the media with (I’m given to understand) an outsized vote by gay men. Gay men like the Greek statue look and if they can’t have that then they at least don’t like womanly curves. End result: The media tells us that a handsome man has a narrow waist and a six pack when, in actuality, women prefer a bit of gut and thick biceps more than defined biceps. And, similarly, it tells women that men think that they should be thin reeds rather than a tiny bit plump and curvaceous. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/14 "2019-08-29T01:53:29Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What? You’re funny. Im _happily_ not single. And definitely not pissed. Maybe a little dubious at the entire phenomenon but thats it. I’m seeking knowledge, whether you’d like to believe that or not. > > And im not asking about whether individual mothers are “hot” or not. But now that you bring it up, I’d be curious as to what separates the “not hot” moms from the “hot” moms? “Mom bod” implies that some of the traits generally stereotypically considered unattractive related to pregnancy are actually attractive. Things like weight gain, stretch marks, etc. Those things shouldnt work _against_ those moms who are considered “not hot”, not if one is saying “mom bods” are sexy. > > And I’d really like to here from non-married women who enjoy the dad bod. I understand a married woman saying she’s into a “dad bod” because her life partner happens to have one. Nah. Good luck with this. I’m out. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/15 "2019-08-29T01:53:31Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > You seem to have the mistaken belief that people can only be sexy based on their physical fitness. Smh. Totally not understanding what im posting then. I’m sorry. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/16 "2019-08-29T01:56:19Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > I think most people’s perception of “dad bod” would probably fall somwhere in what you’re calling the “excluded middle”. Considering that according to the article I linked to, a lot of people seem to put _Parks and Rec_-era Chris Pratt in the “dad bod” category, you seem to be the one with a rather exaggerated vision for the definition of “dad bod”. You’re probably right. But I’ve gotten that exaggerated vision from actual people who claim this. My anecdotal experiences may not align with the common understanding. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/17 "2019-08-29T02:03:45Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > And it’s _not_ just some ancient hashtag from twitter. I’m seeing/hearing more and more women saying how much they love a man with a dad bod. Memes galore. Facebook posts. Real life exclamations. Perhaps you should ask the women who find a dad bod attractive what exactly they mean by “dad bod.” I mean, I think I have a dad bod, but in reality, my waist measures about 8" more than my hips. I’m self-aware enough to realize that people my consider that “fat.” My best friend, who happens to be about the same size and body type, runs every day, but doesn’t otherwise work out. He doesn’t have what you’d call defined musculature, but he’s not fat, either. He’s probably a better example of a dad bod that women find attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/18 "2019-08-29T02:04:49Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > YBut I’ve gotten that exaggerated vision from actual people who claim this. Well, you’ll have to take it up with them. I’ve pretty much exhausted the information I can supply either about my own personal preferences or my reading of the current zeitgeist on this topic. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/19 "2019-08-29T02:09:55Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > i think i can say pretty confidently that a corresponding “mom bods are sexy” movement isnt on our horizon at all. I would certainly not say that. Maybe not as a mainstream meme, but there certainly are a lot of guys into the female equivalent of dad bods. As one data point, look at your favorite skin flick site, read the comments, and note how many males are into the less-toned, few-extra-pounds look. Most of my male friends, so much as we talk about these things (we really don’t talk about it that much anymore), seem to be attracted to that body type. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388/20 "2019-08-29T02:11:56Z")
I’ve never witnessed someone swooning over a “dad bod” in the absence of other physically attractive qualities. Like, I’ve only heard people point out celebrity"dad bods"–and those celebrities are all conventionally handsome dudes who at one time had more ripped or sinewy physiques. A person who gushes over the dad bod attached to Leonardo DiCaprio’s head probably wouldn’t do that for some rando, no-name dude. I’ve also not encountered anyone elevating a “dad bod” over other bods. Like, I’m not thinking a male stripper with the prototypical dad bod would get more dollar bills thrust into his thong than a more ripped stripper, unless the dad bod stripper had exceptionally sexy dance moves or a big package. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-a-dad-bod-and-why-tf-are-they-considered-attractive/839388.md?page=2)