# What Exactly Is Ear Sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [February 23, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121 "2009-02-23T23:20:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/1 "2009-02-23T23:20:58Z")
[http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/53/what-exactly-is-ear-sex](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/53/what-exactly-is-ear-sex) Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days? I thought that was “phone sex”. Ear sex reminds me of the Family Guy episode where _literal_ ear sex (as in, sticking the male member into the female’s cochlea) is considered a safe alternative to actual sex. ---
**Author:** ![John\_W.Kennedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_w.kennedy/32/1031_2.png) [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/2 "2009-02-24T00:23:03Z")
> [@dotchan](#): > > [What exactly is “ear sex”? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/53/what-exactly-is-ear-sex) > > Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days? I thought that was “phone sex”. What part of “February 18, 1983” didn’t you understand? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/3 "2009-02-24T00:35:04Z")
Phone sex merely proves some people have more money than sense, or are pathetically short of imagination…or both. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/4 "2009-02-24T00:36:43Z")
The horseless carriage: just a fad? ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/5 "2009-02-24T00:54:17Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Phone sex merely proves some people have more money than sense, or are pathetically short of imagination…or both. Or live on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean. As happened to my (now) wife and I for a while. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/6 "2009-02-24T01:33:33Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > Or live on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean. As happened to my (now) wife and I for a while. I did say _‘some people’_. You get a pass for being horny, in love or lust, and miles apart. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/7 "2009-02-24T01:54:31Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Phone sex merely proves some people have more money than sense, or are pathetically short of imagination…or both. I dunno about that. A sultry human voice breathing into your ear (even if over the phone) could, in theory, be understandably more stimulating than mere imagination. I wouldn’t know from experience. (really) ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/8 "2009-02-24T02:13:27Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I dunno about that. A sultry human voice breathing into your ear (even if over the phone) could, in theory, be understandably more stimulating than mere imagination. I wouldn’t know from experience. (really) How much it was costing would always be at the back of my mind. I’m probably not rich enough for phone sex! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SeanArenas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeanArenas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeanArenas)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/9 "2009-02-24T02:16:29Z")
I heard radio talkshow hosts one time read an article from a magazine (so you know it’s true!) that listed things women can do to turn a man on. iirc, #2 or #1 was **talk**. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/10 "2009-02-24T03:39:20Z")
Anonymous phone sex is for people who can’t afford the internet. Course, if they saved up the money spent on 2 calls, they probably could get the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/11 "2009-02-24T04:02:48Z")
At an RLDS church sleepover, I watched a chihuahua nail a sleeping pastor in his ear. He woke up and started fingering dog cum out of his ear with a really disgusted look on his face. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/12 "2009-02-24T06:42:25Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > At an RLDS church sleepover, I watched a chihuahua nail a sleeping pastor in his ear. He woke up and started fingering dog cum out of his ear with a really disgusted look on his face. This is the best anecdote I have ever seen! Almost makes me want to join your church 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/13 "2009-02-24T14:28:02Z")
Not my church – I’m an atheist, but for folks who want to believe in god, I highly recomend them. The group I was involved with were in Ontario – a terrific community of good people. I think they now go by the name of Community of Christ. There was too much confusion between them and the Mormons who supposedly split off from them. The dog incident was over thirty years ago, but it has remained seared in my mind. The look on the pastor’s face as he woke up was literally unforgettable. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/14 "2009-02-24T14:33:33Z")
A friend who read David McCullough’s _John Adams_ said that John and Abigail’s correspondence was like 18th century phone sex. ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/15 "2009-02-24T16:47:46Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > Anonymous phone sex is for people who can’t afford the internet. Course, if they saved up the money spent on 2 calls, they probably could get the internet. It still seems that talking to an actual human is somehow superior to watching grainy videos on redtube. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/16 "2009-02-24T16:54:53Z")
> [@Alex\_Dubinsky](#): > > It still seems that talking to an actual human is somehow superior to watching grainy videos on redtube. Thus speaks the voice of experience! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/17 "2009-02-24T23:44:18Z")
> [@Alex\_Dubinsky](#): > > It still seems that talking to an actual human is somehow superior to watching grainy videos on redtube. And I thought men were visual creatures. Oh, and if you’re only finding grainy videos, ur doin it rong. Fuck redtube. ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/18 "2009-02-25T00:06:30Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Thus speaks the voice of experience! 😃 No! I said _seems_. Me talking to women… pshft, yeah right. > [@](#): > > Oh, and if you’re only finding grainy videos, ur doin it rong. Fuck redtube. Indeed. I’m surprised by the number unavailed of bittorrent. ---
**Author:** ![Hrd2hndl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8dc957/32.png) [@Hrd2hndl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hrd2hndl)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/19 "2009-02-25T04:29:04Z")
The things that show up on the internet, never cease to amaze and “befuddle” me. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121/20 "2009-03-06T23:36:53Z")
Personally, I like a nice bit of aural. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-ear-sex/487121.md?page=2)