# What exactly is the fascination with Homosexuality **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 10, 2015, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506 "2015-09-10T11:31:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/21 "2015-09-10T14:09:43Z")
> [@BaldDudePeekskill](#): > > I am a gay, married man. Devout episcopalian. Dog dad to 4 pups, foster parent and a policy writer for a major bank. I am boring. BORING BORING BORING. My wanton activities with my husband include sex on a very very irregular basis (we are married, after all)lots of Netflix, lots of cleaning, visiting our extended families, walking the dogs, reading, cooking and that’s about it. A big night is Chinese Food and watching the Carbonaro effect. So, straight friends, what is so fascinating and repulsive? > > I think there is no such thing as homophobia as no one is afraid of us, just repulsed . But why? I’m trying to wrap my head around this Kim Davis situation and trying to be a Christian and ‘forgive’ her ignorance, but. I just am over it. Is homo-hatred taught or innate? Are homophobes afraid they may like the things that I’m doing with my husband? What is it? To a large extent, I think you’re right, it’s a repulsion. I think, to a certain extent, that it’s innate. Frankly, as a straight man, if I think about it, gay sex is kind of repulsive. But I imagine that for gay men, straight sex is similarly repulsive. After all, if it weren’t repulsive, I’d probably be bi or gay. But all of that said, I don’t think about gay sex, because it doesn’t interest me. Hell, I hardly ever think about anyone else having sex at all, gay or straight, certainly far less than I think about myself, and even that isn’t all that often either. And even for the repulsion, it’s not all that much different than plenty of other sex acts that I think are repulsive; hell, I think a lot of the weirder fetishes that a lot of straight people are into are a whole lot more repulsive. The unusual part, though, is that that repulsion seems to be more or less innate, but there’s no movement to ban S&M or scat or foot fetishes or whatever else a given person might fight sexually repulsive. I’m not sure how analogous that is, though, as generally people don’t publicly identify, nor are they easily discernible, as a particular fetishist as one might as gay. Regardless, it’s clear to me that it’s taught. The reason being that I was raised that way, that homosexuality is a sin, that the corruption of that sin goes far beyond just the thoughts and acts, and that those people are fundamentally rejecting God… etc. But as I reached the age of reason and really started to think about it, particularly as I was also taught that all sins are equal in the eye of God, that it doesn’t make much sense to single out homosexuality as a sin and expend so much energy fighting that, but not other sins that seem far more rampant, like sexual immorality in general, greed, dishonesty, etc. And moreso, there’s all these arguments about what the Bible says about homosexuality, yet Jesus says nothing about it. Instead, one thing he hits on several times, particularly in the Sermon on the Mount, is about hypocrisy. We’re all sinners, and who are we to condemn the acts of others while we still sin ourselves. But, more importantly, it just plain doesn’t apply to me, so my opinion doesn’t mean anything. That is, my concern with my acts and rectifying them with God, ensuring that I’m acting in a moral manner, is all I can or should concern myself with. As such, not being gay, fundamentally, my opinion on whether or not its a sin doesn’t mean anything, so I don’t even bother getting into debates about whether or not those verses mean what various people say they mean. I have plenty of vices of my own that I’m working on, who am I to persecute others for what I perceive as vices. Instead, I just hope and ask of others that they strive to do the same, to be at peace with their moral values and their relationship with God, or whatever their spiritual beliefs may or may not be, or if they’re atheist, to simply push to always improve their morality and act in accordance with it. Frankly, for what my interpretation does matter, it seems quite consistent to me that pointing out the faults and sins of others are quite explicitly preached against by Jesus, and that, in general, those who make a big deal about these things are, in general, acting in a less Christian way than many of those they decry as being anti-Christian. Further, I think the reason that these things are taught and believed is because we can easily point to faults as a way of scapegoating or justifying dislike of people. Even putting homosexuality aside, we can look at any number of faults people have. It’s often easy to dismiss someone who is sexually immoral as a wholly bad person. Consider all those who’ve looked down on various celebrities for cheating, like Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant, or whoever else. They were just cheaters, they were painted as bad people, and as they were polarizing figures already, those who disliked them for other reasons, not they could justify that. And that’s where the repulsion comes in. I think, to a certain extent, even if we are moral enough not to lie and cheat and steal, we all have an understanding of why people might do that. But if someone isn’t gay, it’s much more difficult to understand why people do those things, but now they have justification for hating them, so they don’t even have to try. After all, it’s far easier to hate than it is to empathize. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/22 "2015-09-10T14:12:08Z")
> [@BaldDudePeekskill](#): > > I think there is no such thing as homophobia as no one is afraid of us, just repulsed … Are homophobes afraid they may like the things that I’m doing with my husband? I’ve had conversations with several people who were repulsed by the one sex act they pictured homosexual men performing (anal); once I pointed out that a lot of the things two men or two women can do with each other are the same as things a mixed-sex couple can do, suddenly Teh Geys became “normal” and therefore acceptable. Silly, but I don’t think anybody has ever accused human beings of not being silly. The other key point appears to be that human beings don’t choose who to fall in love with or who to find attractive; we can choose what to do about it, but not what our feelings are. I’ve seen people jump directly from there to “if two people love each other and are not otherwise engaged, who am I to tell them they cannot live together, marry, and so forth?” on their own. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/23 "2015-09-10T14:16:06Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > You have sex with your husband? How sinful! Tell me more! > > Just kidding, but sometimes that seems to be the right wing attitude. Honestly, I don’t get it. I spend exactly ZERO time thinking about people I know having sex or what they do in their relationships. The mindset that simultaneously obsesses about such things while claiming to abhor them is a complete mystery to me. Haha yes! I was going to say the same thing! The only difference between gays and straights is sexual preference. When I think of homophobia I think about how those people can’t do anything but imagine gay sex when they are met by a gay person. How fucking weird is that?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/24 "2015-09-10T14:25:59Z")
I’ve often wondered about this question myself. I don’t know. Take a regular person–when most people start describing themselves to somebody else, they’re likely to start with their family, their job, or where they live. “I’m John Smith, and I’m a fireman.” Or, “I’m John Smith, and I’m from Chicago.” But not homosexuals. “I’m John Smith, and I’m gay.” That is literally the first thing out of their mouths 90% or more of the time. What is their fascination with homosexuality? Why is seemingly every bit of their self worth and self identity wrapped up in that one aspect of life? I was hoping that the OP would provide an answer to that. Maybe he still will. ---
**Author:** ![Gothic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Gothic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gothic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/25 "2015-09-10T14:27:21Z")
I think the movie American Beauty said it well, the repulsion and bigotry probably come from self hate and fear. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/26 "2015-09-10T14:39:34Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > But not homosexuals. “I’m John Smith, and I’m gay.” That is literally the first thing out of their mouths 90% or more of the time. There are so many logical problems with this statement that my nose is starting to bleed. Even if we accept your ridiculous assertion to be true (and I’ve never once met a gay person who led with that fact in introducing him- or herself), the fact would remain that there is an unnumbered quantity of homosexuals out there whom you do not even know are homosexual, precisely because they _didn’t_ say it. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/27 "2015-09-10T14:45:55Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > But not homosexuals. “I’m John Smith, and I’m gay.” That is literally the first thing out of their mouths 90% or more of the time. Out of all the homosexuals I’ve ever known, exactly 0% of them have introduced themselves to me that way. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/28 "2015-09-10T14:48:05Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > What always gets me is how they pick and choose which biblical and religious prohibitions to draw the line at. I’ll bet she eats pork and it is hard to imagine a clearer biblical injunction than that one. I’ll bet she is in favor of capital punishment, which is a clear violation of one of the commandments. 1. You do know why it is that Christians everywhere don’t generally consider themselves bound to keep Jewish dietary law, don’t you? 2. You do know that the Commandment prohibits _murder_, and that certain other laws of Moses actually mandate capital punishment, don’t you? It’s taking longer than we think, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/29 "2015-09-10T14:51:32Z")
I’m a straight man, and the idea of gay sex is repulsive to me. Luckily my respect for human rights is stronger than my repulsion, and so I have no problems with gaydom or any activity at all between two or more consenting, sapient humans. Repulsion is innate. I can apologize for it, and a lot of people with think that I’m a bigot for being repulsed, but things repulse me that I have no control over. Some people, though, legislate their repulsion into law. That’s why you can’t smoke pot in most places, and why we had prohibition, and why both Democrats and Republicans are pretty much full of crap. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/30 "2015-09-10T15:11:26Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Because stupid people are one denominational. When they hear gay, they don’t think about Netflix or walking the dogs like you mention in the OP. All their poor little pea brains can think of is anal sex. And eww, that’s “icky”. So they gotta hate. > > God is a convenient cover to justify said hate. I think you meant “one dimensional”. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/31 "2015-09-10T15:15:31Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > Repulsion is innate. There seems to be a lot more repulsion in the Bible Belt than in, say, Sweden. And a lot more in the Bible than in ancient Greece. So I’m honestly not sure about that. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/32 "2015-09-10T15:17:09Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > 1. You do know why it is that Christians everywhere don’t generally consider themselves bound to keep Jewish dietary law, don’t you? > . Isn’t all the alleged anti-gay stuff in the same parts of the bible as the anti-shrimp stuff? I actually don’t know why the Old Testament rules don’t seem to apply to Christians, but if they don’t, they should be cool with the gays. Jesus, I’ve been told, had no beef with gay people. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/33 "2015-09-10T15:24:18Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Isn’t all the alleged anti-gay stuff in the same parts of the bible as the anti-shrimp stuff? > > I actually don’t know why the Old Testament rules don’t seem to apply to Christians, but if they don’t, they should be cool with the gays. Jesus, I’ve been told, had no beef with gay people. They did ask Jesus which parts of the Old Testament were still valid, and his answer amounted to “Yikes, that old thing? Me. Well, if you have to keep hauling it around, I guess the Ten Commandments still apply. Yeah, follow those. Maybe put them on a Post-It note or something.” Not sure why Christians are banging the drum so hard to support the teachings of Leviticus, which were intended to help Jewish people be more devout Jews, but whatever it takes to float your boat, I guess, provided it doesn’t hurt anybody else… Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/34 "2015-09-10T15:33:05Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > I’m a straight man, and the idea of gay sex is repulsive to me. Luckily my respect for human rights is stronger than my repulsion, and so I have no problems with gaydom or any activity at all between two or more consenting, sapient humans. > > Repulsion is innate. I can apologize for it, and a lot of people with think that I’m a bigot for being repulsed, but things repulse me that I have no control over. This is pretty much how I feel. I believe 2 consenting adults should be able to do what they want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. But I don’t need to hear about gay sex any more than I need to hear about some guy doing watersports with their wife. TMI. ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/35 "2015-09-10T15:37:11Z")
My two cents is that most folks who espouse anti-SSM crap truly aren’t genuinely homophobic. Pretending to be outraged and feeling persecuted is what they enjoy. Christians have been top dog around these parts for a very long time. That gets boring. They want to be a victim in some way… blame some one. The war on Christmas, etc… They also want to believe that they are in some way overcoming the devil’s influence by living their suburban two-car garage life style. That they are sacrificing. That they are righteous and they are special. But to do that you need an enemy. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/36 "2015-09-10T15:37:40Z")
I think that there are basically two kinds of homophobia. The first, which used to be the most common, is just fear of that which is unfamiliar. People think that gay people must be so different, and different is scary. Fortunately, this is a very simple sort of thing to combat: Once people get to know a few gay people (and to realize that they’re gay) and realize that they really aren’t all that different from straight people, the fear evaporates. For this reason, this form of homophobia has sharply declined in the past decade or so. The second form is self-loathing. There are some people who are themselves homosexual, but who resist the label. They know that they’re strongly drawn to their own sex, and view homosexuality as a terrible temptation. They think that everyone has the same temptations that they do, and that a staunch resistance to those temptations is the only thing that stands in the way of everyone going gay and dooming the species. This is a much harder form of homophobia to fight, since the only way to dislodge it in a person starts with getting them to admit who they are, and their homophobia itself makes that very difficult. But fortunately, this form of homophobia is inherently rare, since it can only show up in those who have homosexual drives (somewhere around 10% of the population), and not even in all of those. There are also religious objections, but I don’t count those as a separate category, for two reasons. First, people pick and choose which religious rules they’ll consider important, and if they’re choosing to obey the rules against homosexuality but ignoring the rules against mixed-fiber fabrics, there must be some non-religious opposition to homosexuality that’s causing that. Second, the people who wrote those rules in the first place must have also had external reasons for choosing to make those rules. So ultimately, I think that the religious objections just boil down to the two reasons I stated, too. ---
**Author:** ![davida03801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@davida03801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davida03801)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/37 "2015-09-10T15:39:15Z")
Nothing to me and welcome to the boring life club. Personally I think you all make a bigger deal of it than those who are straight. Each side has the crazies. Most straights don’t like the gay pride parades with folks walking around in all kinds of weird garb. Frankly I view that as offensive to me. On the other hand there are, admittedly, anti gay crazies on the straight side and I understand how that is offensive also. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/38 "2015-09-10T15:46:56Z")
I don’t go to Pride Parades, although I am told that they are fun. I also don’t go to Mardi Gras or Las Vegas because I am not amused by such displays regardless of orientation. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/39 "2015-09-10T15:52:57Z")
> [@davida03801](#): > > Most straights don’t like the gay pride parades with folks walking around in all kinds of weird garb. Most? News to me. Although perhaps I’ve been in the Seattle area too long. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/40 "2015-09-10T15:55:06Z")
> [@davida03801](#): > > Most straights don’t like the gay pride parades with folks walking around in all kinds of weird garb. They don’t? Have we done a poll? The last time there was one in my town, there was quite a turnout. I actually had to explain to one poor sod that no, not everyone in town is suddenly gay. Most of us were just taking the opportunity to party. Personally, I’d rather be a crazy for love than a crazy for hate. The hater parades are just no fun at all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506.md?page=3)