# What exactly is the fascination with Homosexuality **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 10, 2015, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506 "2015-09-10T11:31:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/41 "2015-09-10T16:24:56Z")
The only experience I have is from Mormonism which used to openly teach that homosexuality was a sin which men get tempted by and fall prey to the Devil (mostly, I cannot recall any time they talked about women being tempted into becoming lesbians, so we don’t know how that happens). The prophet of the church when I was a youth, Spencer Kimball wrote a book in which he outlined that masturbation leads to mutual masturbation with other men which leads to homosexuality. They have slightly modified this to now say that some people have “same sex attraction” which isn’t a sin in and of itself, but “acting” on it is a sin. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/42 "2015-09-10T16:40:06Z")
I know it’s a cliche but I think there’s a strong element of truth in the idea that a lot of extreme homophobes are themselves homosexuals in denial. They’re gay people who grew up in an environment that taught them homosexuality is wrong. So they’re fighting their own sexual urges. They then project this out on to other people and decide that the people who they’re attracted to are trying to subvert them and are their enemy. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/43 "2015-09-10T16:55:56Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > To a large extent, I think you’re right, it’s a repulsion. I think, to a certain extent, that it’s innate. Frankly, as a straight man, if I think about it, gay sex is kind of repulsive. But I imagine that for gay men, straight sex is similarly repulsive. If you work with public health data, all sex is kind of repulsive, if you think about it. 😛 > [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Personally, I’d rather be a crazy for love than a crazy for hate. The hater parades are just no fun at all. And the drinks and music suck at hater parades! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/44 "2015-09-10T17:00:57Z")
So no one else deals with what I deal with. I do my best to fight it, but I know I have some in-built homophobia. It’s gotten better over time, but it’s still there. It has absolutely nothing to do with sex or even who you like. It’s entirely the lisp and the actions I attribute to being female. There’s a way in my brain that men act when they are being warm, and a way women do it. Yip, it’s a gender norm thing. And, yes, I’m aware this doesn’t apply to all gay men–in fact, realizing that those who don’t act this way don’t bother me was a revelation. So was realizing that I don’t feel this way if I’m talking to you in text form. I don’t know why–maybe it’s the always annoying gay guy on TV I grew up with. Maybe it’s that I find cuteness attractive, and so it creates two conflicting emotions when I see a guy being cute while not being attracted to him because he’s a guy. All I know is that it makes me uncomfortable and is thus something I work on stopping. And it has gotten a lot better. Exposure is the cure to “phobias,” whether they are the literal “fear” kind or the metaphorical “revulsion” kind. That’s why it’s less of a problem elsewhere. Gay people are more integrated in most places than in Southern “Christian” communities. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/45 "2015-09-10T17:07:23Z")
My underdeveloped hypothesis is that it has to do with gender roles. Ever notice that the religions or denominations that have problems with homosexuality are the same that have issues with gender equality, or, heaven forbid, women in positions of authority? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/46 "2015-09-10T17:10:09Z")
2 main reasons I can see: Tradition and religion. They overlap, but I think you can make a distinction Tradition is what conservatism is. To me, if you broke it down to the basics of what aversion someone has to homosexuality, its simply fear of the unknown. “How will homosexuality change everything I’m used to? How will it affect me? What new thing do I have to see and hear about, and what will I be forced to do?” Subconsciously, those in the traditional stance ask themselves that. These people don’t want to bother to change anything at all. It may simply be an laziness thing (“I don’t want to have to ask whether a guy is married to a guy, I want to assume its to a woman!”) or manifest itself in fear (“What if I’m in a locker room and a gay person is there? Will he rape me?”). Though I don’t believe they’re all rooted in hate or fear, such a belief is usually rooted in some negative vice. They don’t stand up to scrutiny though and they are usually emotional, irrational reactions to something with little thought behind it. That’s why you see people get so angry about things that don’t affect them, that anger is the emotional reaction spilling out. They didn’t think about it rationally so they won’t think about what a proper response should be. Religion requires little explanation. Its similar to tradition, but some carry the extra baggage of believing they or others are actually going to go to some damned pit of eternal torment. Its pretty sad really, but not sad enough to excuse their behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/47 "2015-09-10T17:11:15Z")
The people of this planet they want explanations For riots, earthquakes and all “God’s creations” You got me, I just couldn’t say I do what I do, I take it day by day. …-ITHAKA, 1995 ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/48 "2015-09-10T17:42:04Z")
There seems to be a lot of fear too. Men who wish to control women often believe they are doing it to protect them. Because women are temptresses that make men lose all control. Better hide women. Similarly we’ve been witnesses to various anti-gay activists that seem to have no faith in heterosexual men’s ability to control themselves in the presence of a gay person. They obsess boundlessly about gay sex in a way that most heterosexual men do not. I feel that the ones fueling the fires of this movement are not so certain of their own heterosexuality. I know I am heterosexual because even if I am not repulsed by it, I simply have never in my 45 years met any woman I wanted to have sex with. And I spend zero time thinking about what they do in bed. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/49 "2015-09-10T17:42:22Z")
> [@davida03801](#): > > Most straights don’t like the gay pride parades with folks walking around in all kinds of weird garb. Frankly I view that as offensive to me. First part is completely wrong, you’re projecting your views on the majority. Second part mystifies me. Can you explain exactly how you find it offensive? ---
**Author:** ![CGav8r](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@CGav8r](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CGav8r)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/50 "2015-09-10T17:49:46Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > I’ve often wondered about this question myself. I don’t know. Take a regular person–when most people start describing themselves to somebody else, they’re likely to start with their family, their job, or where they live. “I’m John Smith, and I’m a fireman.” Or, “I’m John Smith, and I’m from Chicago.” > > But not homosexuals. “ **I’m John Smith, and I’m gay**.” That is literally the first thing out of their mouths 90% or more of the time. What is their fascination with homosexuality? Why is seemingly every bit of their self worth and self identity wrapped up in that one aspect of life? > > I was hoping that the OP would provide an answer to that. Maybe he still will. (bolding, mine) Yeah, this doesn’t reflect one iota of reality that I’ve seen with or have experienced and I have a group of gay guys & gals that I have breakfast with semi-regularly on the weekends. When being introduced everyone says their name and shakes hands _just like the straights_. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/51 "2015-09-10T17:57:49Z")
> [@CGav8r](#): > > (bolding, mine) > Yeah, this doesn’t reflect one iota of reality that I’ve seen with or have experienced and I have a group of gay guys & gals that I have breakfast with semi-regularly on the weekends. When being introduced everyone says their name and shakes hands _just like the straights_. Yep, thinking about all the gay people I know, I can’t recall anyone mentioning it when we first met. When I do learn about it at the first meeting, it always because they introduced me to a same sex partner. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/52 "2015-09-10T17:58:31Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > You got me, chief. > > All our gay and lesbian friends are functionally indistinguishable from our straight friends. (50-something middle-class suburbanites mostly, with either adopted or bio-kids from one or the other). > > I consider it extremely rude to think to much about what any other couple does in private. it is no one’s damn business how my Wife and I play, therefore it is none of my business how you and your partner/ spouse play. This reply speaks for me as well. Hetero male, 65, married 45 years. Wife and I have had many gay/lesbian friends, singles and couples, all of them “functionally indistinguishable” from hetero equivalents. My personal reaction to the thought of gay sex is “Not for me, thanks” but I’ve never found the notion repulsive or disgusting. So as DrFidelius so eloquently put it- You got me, chief. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/53 "2015-09-10T18:20:01Z")
The number of replies to this thread and speed of them confirm the fascination with homosexuality the OP spoke of. Just sayin’ ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/54 "2015-09-10T21:48:49Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > The number of replies to this thread and speed of them confirm the fascination with homosexuality the OP spoke of. > > Just sayin’ Or the determination to say not me Or the fascination with a current news story that this is applicable to Or possibly it’s not that unreasonable a response rate for a thread that everyone has an opinion on. ---
**Author:** ![Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cdc98d/32.png) [@Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogant_B_st_rd)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/55 "2015-09-10T22:10:09Z")
Penises in buttholes. That alone is terrifying to some men. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/56 "2015-09-10T22:30:59Z")
I’m a straight married man in my 30s. I think that in my teens and early twenties I thought I was repulsed by the idea of gay sex or gay affection, but now it doesn’t bother me in the least. Gay kissing in movies or TV doesn’t bother me at all, gay love scenes don’t bother me at all, gay affection in public doesn’t bother me at all, and even a gay sexual act on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras a few years ago caused no more than momentary mild shock (which I think was just due to the fact that it was a public sex act, which is moderately but not terribly unusual on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras). So I don’t believe that there’s anything innate about anyone’s repulsion – I believe it’s entirely cultural, and either taught by one’s parents or by society. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/57 "2015-09-10T22:53:58Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > “I’m John Smith, and I’m gay.” That is literally the first thing out of their mouths 90% or more of the time. What is their fascination with homosexuality? Why is seemingly every bit of their self worth and self identity wrapped up in that one aspect of life? I have never done this in my life, nor do I know anyone who has. Which is a shame really, had I introduce myself as “Hello, I’m Foggy and I suck cock(s)!” I might have had more fun when I was younger. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/58 "2015-09-10T23:00:49Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > The number of replies to this thread and speed of them confirm the fascination with homosexuality the OP spoke of. > > Just sayin’ Cute. Chuckled aloud on the train . ---
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/59 "2015-09-10T23:03:12Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > I have never done this in my life, nor do I know anyone who has. Which is a shame really, had I introduce myself as “Hello, I’m Foggy and I suck cock(s)!” I might have had more fun when I was younger. 😛 Actually nor have I or anyone I know. Now, if you ask me, I’ll have no problem telling you, but if I were simply introduce myself, I’d most likely qualify my self introduction with my career…or even that I’m a New Yorker…but, “hey, I’m Balddude and I’m a fudge packer…”’ Doubtful ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/60 "2015-09-10T23:04:40Z")
I think there are a variety of causes. Some straight men are terrified gay men will treat them as sex objects the way they (scared straight guys) treat women. For some people following the details of the religious law in their various faiths is important and various religions have had objections to homosexuality (much of which I suspect derives from the fact that gay sex isn’t going to produce significant future military fodder). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506.md?page=4)