# What exactly is the fascination with Homosexuality **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 10, 2015, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506 "2015-09-10T11:31:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/81 "2015-09-12T23:22:58Z")
I’ve always been of the opinion that homophobes don’t believe gay people or gay lives as described in the OP exist. It’s too normal. They think the homosexual “lifestyle” is all about random sex with multiple partners, without any thought of love or marriage or life together, because that’s “heteronormative.” That’s what repulsed them (never mind that straight people SOMETIMES sleep around). ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/82 "2015-09-12T23:33:34Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I have actually witnessed introductions such as described. I work on a university campus. Young, gay men who have recently come out of the closet are sometimes prone to introduce themselves by “Hello, I am \_\_\_\_\_ and I suck cock.” Many years ago, I had a gay male acquaintance who would always bring up that he was gay in job interviews - and no, he wasn’t interviewing for jobs where that kind of thing might be important to know. He couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t getting hired, either. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/83 "2015-09-12T23:46:01Z")
I dunno. Most of the gays in my social circle are beat-down middle class stiffs with lives indistinguishable from my own. The handful I know who want to play at being the obnoxious flaming queen who must be the center of attention aren’t materially different from the straights I know who are all about look at me. FWIW, what you do with your genials is of not even passing interest to me. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/84 "2015-09-13T07:52:35Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > I bet one’s having more fun than the other… Now we just have to figure out which one. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/85 "2015-09-13T11:22:29Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’ve asked about a million people what two gay people do sexually that two straight people aren’t doing somewhere. So far, I’ve yet to get a valid answer. Reach around handjob? Docking? Scissoring?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/86 "2015-09-13T12:32:55Z")
> [@BaldDudePeekskill](#): > > I am a gay, married man. Devout episcopalian. Dog dad to 4 pups, foster parent and a policy writer for a major bank. I am boring. BORING BORING BORING. My wanton activities with my husband include sex on a very very irregular basis (we are married, after all)lots of Netflix, lots of cleaning, visiting our extended families, walking the dogs, reading, cooking and that’s about it. A big night is Chinese Food and watching the Carbonaro effect. So, straight friends, what is so fascinating and repulsive? > > I think there is no such thing as homophobia as no one is afraid of us, just repulsed . But why? I’m trying to wrap my head around this Kim Davis situation and trying to be a Christian and ‘forgive’ her ignorance, but. I just am over it. Is homo-hatred taught or innate? Are homophobes afraid they may like the things that I’m doing with my husband? What is it? They are bigots. The same type that don’t like Jews who have never done anything to them or anyone else as a group of people. Judaism isn’t a mission religion, don’t go door to door trying to convert people, but because they don’t follow the popular religion that focuses on a fantasy father figure in the sky who they should fear, they are hated for no reason. Homosexuality is in the minority, and always will be so they attack it. They attack it because they aren’t like them, so there must be something wrong with it. The very important thing to remember is, in the US, the bigots are in the tiny minority. When you drive down the street and you see a jesus fish on someone’s car, think of the tens of thousands of cars you pass that don’t have that nonsense on their car. You see some idiot holding a sign they are against homosexuality, think of the many others that aren’t holding up such a sign. When the KKK has a rally, about 7 of them show up against the thousands that shout them down. When the Irish first came to the US in large groups, they were mocked and gossip among the idiots they weren’t as intelligent as everyone else. This was repeated for everyone else that came over. The military use to have segregated troops because they didn’t think whites should serve with blacks along with twisted logic to justify it as well. My advice to you, is to not watch and read the BS about Kim Davis or any of that other stuff. Talk the dogs for a walk, enjoy life and leave the haters to stew in their own juices of misery. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/87 "2015-09-13T12:38:51Z")
> [@grude](#): > > Reach around handjob? Docking? Scissoring?🙂 All I know is that my research into this question so far has been a hoot. Maybe this is the kind of project that is more about the journey than the destination. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/88 "2015-09-13T13:20:09Z")
Cute song: [Two Guys Kissing Ruined My Life – Tom Smith](https://youtu.be/8woKHUAZ7HA) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/89 "2015-09-13T14:18:45Z")
> [@Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](#): > > Penises in buttholes. > > That alone is terrifying to some men. (I know others mentioned the anal sex = icky thing; yours was just the quote I grabbed.) My experience of 25 years of having sex with men is that they’re not at all averse to anal sex with women. For most of them, it’s like unlocking an achievement, something to brag about to their friends. :dubious: I know, I know, it’s not a logic thing. None of the reasons people have any hang ups, fascination or phobias around homosexuality are logical. It’s just…odd. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/90 "2015-09-13T14:30:14Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > 1. You do know why it is that Christians everywhere don’t generally consider themselves bound to keep Jewish dietary law, don’t you? > > 2. You do know that the Commandment prohibits _murder_, and that certain other laws of Moses actually mandate capital punishment, don’t you? > > It’s taking longer than we think, indeed. **Darsh** , I was trying to figure out how to respond to **Hari Seldon** ’s ignorance, but you did a way better job, and in less words, than I would have. Good job! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/91 "2015-09-13T14:37:00Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I know it’s a cliche but I think there’s a strong element of truth in the idea that a lot of extreme homophobes are themselves homosexuals in denial. They’re gay people who grew up in an environment that taught them homosexuality is wrong. So they’re fighting their own sexual urges. They then project this out on to other people and decide that the people who they’re attracted to are trying to subvert them and are their enemy. This. For years my father and I spoke about Fred Phelps and his actions, speculating that Fred had “urges” himself. He proved **HE** wasn’t gay by having a big family, thirteen children, andc then using those kids for the picketing. Even now when Fred is gone, and I drive by the family compound, I wonder why they keep it all up. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/92 "2015-09-13T15:49:38Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’ve asked about a million people what two gay people do sexually that two straight people aren’t doing somewhere. So far, I’ve yet to get a valid answer. Stimulating a partner’s prostate with a penis. Now, after a million inquiries, you have a valid, albeit admittedly u useful, answer. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/93 "2015-09-13T16:21:09Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Stimulating a partner’s prostate with a penis. > > Now, after a million inquiries, you have a valid, albeit admittedly u useful, answer. Man having sex with a trans woman… ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/94 "2015-09-13T16:23:03Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Out of all the homosexuals I’ve ever known, exactly 0% of them have introduced themselves to me that way. Ditto, and I know a lot of gays, both men and women. Sometimes it’s years before I know for sure. (I am married and not looking, so I have no immediate need for that information.) Usually, I find out when someone introduces me to their partner. Sometimes it comes up when they ask me if I am gay. Because they are looking. Once, a co-worker took me out to lunch a couple of weeks after I was hired, and explicitly came out to me as gay. I thought that was pretty weird. That’s the closest I’ve ever seen to what that lesson described. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/95 "2015-09-13T16:36:11Z")
As for why homophobia? I think that any sex that doesn’t attract you is icky. Ask any six year old, and they will confirm this. In general, stuff that violates the boundary between self and other is icky, unless it’s actively attractive. So eating stuff that you don’t think is food, excreting, bleeding, putting things up your nose, hypodermic needles… All those boundary violations are innately icky to some degree. Unless they make us hungry or horny. So most straight people find gay sex icky. And some straight people can’t think about gay people without thinking of gay sex. At least, that’s my theory. And most of the people in this category can get over this by meeting some gay people and interacting with them in ordinary, non-sexual ways. But I think the really virulent anti-gay folks are often the people who have unwanted gay desires. Too them, gay people are actually threatening. Because they might be tempted. And some of the intermediate homophobes are men who view women almost exclusively as sexual objects. They are terrified that there are men out there who look at then the way they look at women. Those are the three categories that I think explain most homophobia. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/96 "2015-09-13T23:37:08Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > My experience of 25 years of having sex with men is that they’re not at all averse to anal sex with women. For most of them, it’s like unlocking an achievement, something to brag about to their friends. :dubious: It’s the idea of a dick in **their** butt.😉 I’ve already mention that I have never introduce my self and announce that I was gay in normal situations. However, I lost one friend when he found out, so I just decided to let it be know as early as possible, so as not to invest any time/effort in becoming friends with them. When I was 17 (1978), I was asked by an interviewer for a stock clerk job, if I had a girlfriend or if I played sports. I answered no, and he didn’t ask any follow up questions. I didn’t get the job. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/97 "2015-09-13T23:39:02Z")
When I was a kid (mid-sixties) my dad worked in publishing in New York City. There was a gay couple who worked with him. We had them over every Thanksgiving for years. I knew them as a couple before I knew what sex was. I still find gay sex personally unappealing, but I was around gays before the “ick factor” was operational. I believe (hope) that will become the norm - that same-sex couples are so much an accepted part of the landscape that the mechanics of their sex lives becomes immaterial. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/98 "2015-09-14T03:50:39Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Ditto, and I know a lot of gays, both men and women. Sometimes it’s years before I know for sure. (I am married and not looking, so I have no immediate need for that information.) Usually, I find out when someone introduces me to their partner. Sometimes it comes up when they ask me if I am gay. Because they are looking. > > Once, a co-worker took me out to lunch a couple of weeks after I was hired, and explicitly came out to me as gay. I thought that was pretty weird. That’s the closest I’ve ever seen to what that [STRIKE]lesson[/STRIKE] person described. oops Anyhow, I think he was trying to avoid investing socially with a person who would be upset to learn he was gay. And we are now close. But it was a weird and awkward lunch, nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![tafowler87](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f07891/32.png) [@tafowler87](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tafowler87)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/99 "2015-09-14T10:17:10Z")
This dates back to religion and possibly sovereign power. Women are truly those that hate gays. They feel the future holds a gay invasion and probably “forsee” the world failing because of it. Really though gays have walked the earth as long as straights have and just because they now wish to be comfortable in public and not secretive straight people fear that children will no longer have priority. Religion, history, culture, and many other factors tie together why homosexuality is unacceptable or fearful. Its actually interesting, my point of view. I could outline this and explicitly justify each point, but unless you truly want my perspective (can email here) I wish not to excessively reply to this blog post. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506/100 "2015-09-14T10:43:09Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > I’ve often wondered about this question myself. I don’t know. Take a regular person–when most people start describing themselves to somebody else, they’re likely to start with their family, their job, or where they live. “I’m John Smith, and I’m a fireman.” Or, “I’m John Smith, and I’m from Chicago.” > > But not homosexuals. “I’m John Smith, and I’m gay.” That is literally the first thing out of their mouths 90% or more of the time. What is their fascination with homosexuality? Why is seemingly every bit of their self worth and self identity wrapped up in that one aspect of life? > > I was hoping that the OP would provide an answer to that. Maybe he still will. Never come across this before. Have you actually knowingly met any gay people? I wonder if your impression hasn’t been formed from watching corny movies and sitcoms where the gayness is laid on with a shovel. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-fascination-with-homosexuality/730506.md?page=6)