# What exactly is the point of coffee whitener? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 30, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095 "2013-04-30T13:30:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/21 "2013-04-30T18:12:41Z")
Since many natural poisons are bitter alkaloids, many humans have a natural strong disgust for things bitter. This is especially true for infants and children (and that’s why they gag when forced to eat brussel sprouts). Some people grow out of their disgust for things bitter, some retain their antibitterness to the end. Anyway, aside from the few [del]freaks[/del] people outside the norm who absolutely love the taste of bitterness; most people need to tone down the taste of bitter for it to be palatable. That’s why sugar is usually added to coffee and chocolate. Milk and dairy-like products also dilute the bitterness (and also cool the burning hot coffee). ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/22 "2013-04-30T18:25:23Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > There are inexpensive medium-roast Colombian beans that are more flavorless than bitter. This is a _good_ thing? Why would flavorless be a plus? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/23 "2013-04-30T18:27:46Z")
> [@Keeve](#): > > This is a _good_ thing? Why would flavorless be a plus? It’s not. My point was that bitterness and overall quality are not on the same, or even parallel scales. There are top-shelf beans that produce a notably bitter brew and the cheap, bland ones that produce weak Folger’s Crystals slop. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/24 "2013-04-30T18:49:01Z")
> [@Keeve](#): > > Chemicals. Imitation fat. Real fat is just as chemical. ---
**Author:** ![liquorinthefront](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/22d042/32.png) [@liquorinthefront](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liquorinthefront)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/25 "2013-04-30T19:53:55Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Even high-quality coffee tastes very bitter to the untrained palate. No person anywhere, ever, has liked coffee the first time they tasted it. Tell that to my 2-year-old. I press my coffee w 2T/6oz of water and drink it black as I have for 25 years now. I have to keep my mug out of her reach or she will be all over it. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/26 "2013-04-30T20:46:24Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I’ve had fresh half-and-half curdle when poured into a hot cop of coffee from a French press. When I don’t want to wait for the coffee to cool down, I use non-dairy creamer. > [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > (From RoboCop II, IIRC) “So what’s it like to be a rocket scientist?” Wait, I don’t get this. A whoosh? Something interesting/weird re half-and-half? I ask because I’ve come up against some strange physical phenomena with soy and nut milk being added (and I think real cream) that looks curdled, but doesn’t taste spoiled, while still ruining any pleasure in the coffee. Plus I hate being left out a rocket scientist joke. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/27 "2013-04-30T20:47:01Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Real fat is just as chemical. Quite true. As is [dihydrogen monoxide](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_monoxide). :eek: 😃😉 ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/28 "2013-04-30T20:58:02Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > Wait, I don’t get this. Read **elmwood** ’s first sentence carefully and it might start to make sense. Then watch [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaUqdIFUbxE) (from RoboCop III, not II, my bad). ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/29 "2013-04-30T21:29:12Z")
> [@Keeve](#): > > Quite true. As is [dihydrogen monoxide](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_monoxide). :eek: 😃😉 It must be the DHMO that makes coffee so bitter? I take my caffeine straight, without adding all that DHMO to it. (It’s called No-Doz, or generic equivalents.) Turns out, even this requires some compromise, as I must gulp down my DHMO-free lump of caffeine with . . . . . . a big swig of DHMO! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/30 "2013-04-30T21:31:26Z")
Most coffee whiteners/creamers are powdered coconut oil, and a slight improvement over injecting a blood clot directly into a coronary artery, but frankly IMO not a whole lot better. Using heavy cream is actually likely to be more healthy for most people; half-and-half, whole, 2%, and 1% milk, in that ascending order pf preferemce, are very much better healthwise. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/31 "2013-04-30T22:02:16Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Oh, I see. > > I usually drink my coffee black, and haven’t tried coffee whitener. _"I like my women how I like my coffee, strong, black and preferably free-trade._" -Archer ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/32 "2013-04-30T23:38:02Z")
😃 Just today I talked to a kid about food, who was as righteously horrified by the word “chemicals” as she is credulous about the word “organic” or “natural.” Good word, credulous. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/33 "2013-04-30T23:39:26Z")
I never thought coffee tasted bitter until I sampled some restaurant coffee that sat on the warmer for hours. Freshly ground good quality beans make coffee which is not bitter ,and which tastes great. ETA guess I’m a freak. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/34 "2013-05-01T00:08:57Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I’ve had fresh half-and-half curdle when poured into a hot cop of coffee from a French press. When I don’t want to wait for the coffee to cool down, I use non-dairy creamer. > [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > (From RoboCop II, IIRC) “So what’s it like to be a rocket scientist?” … > [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Read **elmwood** ’s first sentence carefully and it might start to make sense. > > Then watch [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaUqdIFUbxE) (from RoboCop III, not II, my bad). 🙂 Good clip. I can see it is a god one to have handy for many posts… …but, I still don’t get it, and I have to throw myself a the mercy of the court. I infer from your clip that the question/act of fresh half-and-half curdling is obvious to all. 😕 ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/35 "2013-05-01T01:56:51Z")
> [@](#): > > …but, I still don’t get it, and I have to throw myself a the mercy of the court. The post that started it had a typo. “… a hot **cop** of coffee …” Now we need to address your own, “… a **god** one to have handy …” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/36 "2013-05-01T03:40:28Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > _"I like my women how I like my coffee, strong, black and preferably free-trade._" -Archer I think I must have read this one on the Boards: I like my men like I like my coffee: ground up in the freezer. Oh, and a pox on the person who helped themself to my Almond Joy creamer today. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/37 "2013-05-01T04:13:15Z")
> [@Lord\_Mondegreen](#): > > The post that started it had a typo. “… a hot **cop** of coffee …” > > Now we need to address your own, “… a **god** one to have handy …” 😃 :smack: got it. Me, missing a chance to make fun of a typo. I’m getting rusty. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/38 "2013-05-01T05:31:44Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > It’s a highly flammable substance that produces some[great flame effects](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRw4ZRqmxOc). It never occurred to me that people put that stuff in coffee, but I suppose anything added to coffee would improve the flavor. Better to ask why anyone would drink coffee in the first place. Yeah? What do you drink–tap water? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/39 "2013-05-01T05:33:40Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > […]coffee tastes like shit. […] How do you know? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095/40 "2013-05-01T05:40:01Z")
> [@Keeve](#): > > Quite true. As is [dihydrogen monoxide](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_monoxide). :eek: 😃😉 Touché! _Everything_ is made from (shudder!) _chemical_ elements. 🙂 And “organic” means nothing more than the presence of the element carbon. Ask any high-school chemistry teacher. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-exactly-is-the-point-of-coffee-whitener/657095.md?page=3)