# What "favorite book" would cause you to walk away from someone? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** books-writing-myths\ **Created:** [June 6, 2024, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567 "2024-06-06T19:59:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2024, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/83 "2024-06-07T23:36:59Z")
_A Spell for Chameleon_ Holy crap. I’ve never read any of Piers Anthony’s books, but I’m almost tempted to give that one a whirl so I can be properly horrified if anyone ever tells me they like them. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2024, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/84 "2024-06-07T23:37:31Z")
This thread seems to have some crossover to a thread I made 15-16 months ago which may be of interest. Not trying to hijack this, just pointing to some discussion here I that I think some may find interesting: - [Should people avoid consuming art they enjoy from an artist who they dislike or disagree with on a personal level?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/should-people-avoid-consuming-art-they-enjoy-from-an-artist-who-they-dislike-or-disagree-with-on-a-personal-level/979721/1) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2024, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/85 "2024-06-07T23:42:40Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > I think the kind of person who’s favorite book is Mein Kampf would throw up so many red flags I guess I’d stay to watch that. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2024, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/86 "2024-06-07T23:49:35Z")
Aw, I’m sorry. Don’t reread them, is all I’m saying 🙂 (I also read these when I was twelve and liked them then!) ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2024, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/87 "2024-06-07T23:50:51Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I see a huge difference between someone who tells me their favorite book is "Pride and Prejudice\* (a fairly common and perfectly reasonable choice for “favorite book”) and someone who tells me their favorite book is “really, any Harlequin romance.” It would be a bit like someone saying that their favorite movie is “really, anything on the Hallmark channel.” (ETA: And I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with _liking_ either of these.) I get what you’re saying, but I don’t 100% agree. I think what @Spice_Weasel is saying is that she wouldn’t walk away from someone because of their taste, even if it was polar opposite of hers (but correct me if I’m misreading you). And I agree with that. I might not have much in common with someone whose favorite book is “any Harlequin romance,” but I wouldn’t walk away and I’m sure I could have a pleasant conversation with them. There are lots of books I hate but wouldn’t be a friendship killer if it was someone’s favorite, _as long as the differing opinions were based on taste_. The walk-away books are those that say something more about the person than what books they like. _Art of the Deal_ means they’re definitely a MAGA-head and probably a troll. Ayn Rand says they are probably going to turn every conversation into some libertarian crap. Any book by Andrew Tate says they are a misogynistic asshole. Maybe one of those people has some mitigating factor for why it’s their favorite, if I’d only take the time to dig in a little. But if it’s really their _favorite_, then the odds are very low, and I’m too old to waste my time on slim chances like that. There are plenty of other interesting people to chat with. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/88 "2024-06-08T00:05:35Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Any of the works of Marion Zimmer Bradley. > Because, although she was a gift writer, I know what she did. I’ve run across a surprising number of people who don’t though. As recently as a couple of years ago. The Mists of Avalon was big in the 1980’s, the Darkover books were consistently popular in the “planetary romance” niche and she built a reputation in certain circles as a strong feminist voice. The fact that she seems to have tacitly condoned and also herself actively committed sexual abuse blew up some years back. But I’m not sure it was in the news enough for everyone to get the message (or at least the whole message about her own behavior, not just her notorious ex-husband’s). So I wouldn’t automatically shun someone for liking Bradley. In fact having liked her Darkover books myself as a youngster, if someone told me that some of them were still a guilty pleasure I wouldn’t be particularly upset. They’re no longer for me, but I can somewhat separate the artist from the art in this case, particularly since she’s long dead. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/89 "2024-06-08T00:26:42Z")
> [@dorvann](#): > > _Everybody Poops_ According to North Korean propaganda, Kim Jong Un does not. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/90 "2024-06-08T00:43:51Z")
Note–there was a story she wrote, in a _Swords And Sorceresses_ volume, involving a mermaid, that set off some alarm bells with me. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/91 "2024-06-08T01:20:41Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > I would LOVE to talk to a fan of Mein Kampf or Dianetics in person. Trust me, you wouldn’t. Because they aren’t just a fan, they’re a _disciple._ And like all committed disciples, they want to convert you. And a long bus ride is the perfect time and place for them to tell you everything you want to know, everything you don’t want to know, and everything you didn’t even know you didn’t want to know. A former classmate of mine showed up at a high school reunion, sat down at a table and spread out some pamphlets on the miracle that is Dianetics. I don’t believe a single person at the reunion stopped to say hello to her, much less engage in conversation. Not even the spouses who didn’t know anyone there and were looking for anything to keep them occupied for a few minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/92 "2024-06-08T01:39:22Z")
> [@raspberry\_hunter](#): > > Piers Anthony Regardless of what Piers Anthony is usually like, there’s this story about him: > **[Just South of the Unicorns - This American Life](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/470/show-me-the-way/act-one-5)** > > A teenager runs away from home to move in with someone he's never met, his idol, the person he respects most of all — a fantasy writer named Piers Anthony. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/93 "2024-06-08T03:32:34Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > I think what @Spice_Weasel is saying is that she wouldn’t walk away from someone because of their taste, even if it was polar opposite of hers (but correct me if I’m misreading you). And I agree with that. I might not have much in common with someone whose favorite book is “any Harlequin romance,” but I wouldn’t walk away and I’m sure I could have a pleasant conversation with them. There are lots of books I hate but wouldn’t be a friendship killer if it was someone’s favorite, _as long as the differing opinions were based on taste_. Yes, exactly. As far as Ayn Rand goes, I read one of her books as a teenager, for an essay contest. _Anthem._ I remember liking it, though I really didn’t get it or what she was about. I just thought it was a cool story about individuality that was also a romance. (I did not win the contest.) In retrospect, it was not well written. _Anthem_ is one of her shorter books, I cannot imagine reading an entire doorstop of that crap. But even so, I once did have a good conversation with a guy who had _The Fountainhead_ prominently displayed on his bookshelf. From what I recall he was pretty aware of the flaws in Rand’s philosophy. I think he was just trying to look like someone who read important books. I mean these days I’m lucky to find anyone who reads, you know, who really reads enough to have a devoted favorite. That in and of itself is a conversation starter. People really don’t read as much as they used to. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/94 "2024-06-08T04:03:22Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > I think it’s revealing to think about _what sort of person_ would tell someone, out loud, that their favorite book is… the Bible, a Children’s Book or Mein Kampf. To me even more so to think _why_ they answer that way. I wouldn’t assume any answer is a real answer rather than what the person decided to advertise about who they were in the context of the conversation. The answer is a chosen prop. So yeah someone saying Mein Kampf to me is likely trolling. The odds they’ve read it are low. Probably odds are better that they haven’t read any books in a very long time! Or they’re well read and just yanking my chain. Sorry to fight the hypothetical but there is no answer to what is your favorite book that I’d just automatically run from. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/95 "2024-06-08T04:20:41Z")
I don’t understand how a children’s book is in anyway near the same category as a book written by _Hitler._ Yes I would pick fucking _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_. Do you know how much nerd shit there is to learn about that book? Have you heard of the _Annotated Alice_? What kind of person am I? A person who reads a lot. A person who likes subversive books, which Alice very much is, and the depth of its subversion can really only be understood in context of what Victorian children were being read back in the day. That is a book that very much takes the piss out of the endless Victorian moralizing and obsession with the perfect behavior of children. That book is a middle finger to society written by an autistic genius mathematician and illustrated by a guy with a political axe to grind. That’s what you would learn if you talked to me about my favorite book. Now ask the _Mein Kampf_ guy and see who you’d rather spend time with. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/96 "2024-06-08T04:50:23Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > > [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > > > What’s your opinion on _50 Shades of Grey_? > > > > My GF gets how it may be titillating but thinks it is complete shit as a book. In her opinion it is akin to Penthouse Letters at best (she thinks worse). > > > > But, loads of women liked it a lot. > > > > Personally, I would be cautious if someone told me that was their favorite book. Same with a Harlequin romance novel. Romance novels can be great. Just not those I do not think. > > My opinion of _50 Shades_ has evolved a lot. I used to hate it with the fury of a thousand burning suns, now I have to at least appreciate that for whatever reason it hit a nerve with a huge number of women. I haven’t read it, and don’t want to, because I can’t stand terrible prose and it’s obviously just so badly written. But I am curious about it in terms of what women get out of reading it. I would gladly read an academic paper on it. > > It is hard, I confess, not to be bitter when I work so hard to make my prose beautiful. I’m not saying I’m the Best Writer Evar but I put so much effort into my writing that it’s disheartening to see someone who barely can string a few words together be so incredibly successful. But I don’t really get anything out of being bitter, so I’ve moved on from that, I think. Besides, EL James did one thing well that I never have done yet: hit the publish button. Agreed. There’s nothing wrong with romance stories (or even female-centered erotica) _per se_. As, I believe you said earlier, romance can rise to the level of classic literature, as in _Pride and Prejudice_ or _Jane Eyre_. The sins of E.L. James aren’t her genre, but her prose. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/97 "2024-06-08T05:06:59Z")
Her prose and her really jacked up idea of what BDSM actually is, which bothered me a lot too. As I understand it, Christian Grey is an abusive sociopath and it’s through this lens the writer introduces his BDSM proclivities, but there are times he clearly violates her consent so it really blurs the line between BDSM as a consensual practice and BDSM as a means of abuse. Also, the hero is a controlling psycho. I can’t judge anyone too harshly for what entertains them, I read and write some darker stuff myself, but I do wonder what it says about womanhood in America that these particular themes spoke to so many. I don’t have even the fantasy of dating an abusive psychopath so I can only speculate. Something something, but I can change him… (And I think, in the end, she does change him, so I’m probably on the right track.) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/98 "2024-06-08T08:24:26Z")
I read one page of 5O shades. Just on listening to others talk. Never read a review. It was there so I opened it up. It went right in the burn barrel. I also burnt Twilight. Stupid books. Both. (Yeah, I burned books) Now I’ve read some romance fiction. My sister is a published romance author. She has 14 books. I get advance copies. I swear, to her, I’ve read every word. They are too formulaic, not what I like to read. I’d rather read Archie comics. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/99 "2024-06-08T12:27:56Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I’d rather read Archie comics. MAH BROTHAH! Mom taught me to read with her 50s Archies & Walt Kelly’s Pogo. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/100 "2024-06-08T12:47:55Z")
Not that many to be honest. I mean like Mein Kampf or the Turner Diaries. But other than that probably Art of the Deal (I know plenty of people who read it and even some who have a not completely negative opinion of it, who aren’t MAGA but your favorite book? That’s a MAGA tell) Other than that I’m happy hanging out with people who have Ayn Rand or Karl Marx or the Bible or the Koran as their favorite book (even Dianetics, I guess?). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/101 "2024-06-08T13:04:43Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > They are too formulaic, not what I like to read. A lot of them are, yes. Truth be told, I’m pretty hard on the genre, and most of the time when I read a romance novel I immediately drop everything and go try to write something better. I will say it’s a very challenging genre to write, because the main focus is on the subtleties of human emotion, and it’s especially hard to write romantic thrillers, where you’re juggling the fast pace of an action story with the romance bit. But I absolutely love it. I wouldn’t want to write anything else. I once joked that I want to be the Tarantino of romance writers. No matter what genre you like, I think good writing is good writing. Some great writing advice I got is to read broadly, that way your genre fiction will bring something unique to the table. If you can appreciate good writing in any genre, you are fine in my book. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2024, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567/102 "2024-06-08T13:35:29Z")
> [@griffin1977](#): > > I know plenty of people who read it There’s no book that is so awful that i would turn away from a person just because they had read it! I like curious people, and curious people read all kinds of shit. There are lots of books already mentioned that would be deal breakers as a favorite, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-favorite-book-would-cause-you-to-walk-away-from-someone/1002567.md?page=6)